INTROVERT

06 25 02

A painless day
An extreme haircut
A graphic pierce
Immaculate sunblock
greasing up the impact
of night's thud
from the morning free fall
Stares of admiration
open-ended
for the lack of notice
or acknowledgement
but a painless day
of numbed moods
and nil to lose
in loss of mind

Author's Note

Old.

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Introvert, huh? I wouldn't have guessed that ;) You know, I have this odd feeling that you and I are probably a lot alike in the "real world". I always relate to your writes on a strange, emotional level; sort of like there is a hampster running around in my head as I read your words--and I mean that in a good way.

[kublakhan27]

Haha And to think I fooled you all along ;) I am totally on board with what you say here...we definitely have a lot in common, and that really manifests itself in each others' writing (which I promise to start reading very soon, once I get my head back in order :P) It means a lot to have that kind of mutual understanding with another writer, and I cherish it very much :)

[Strider Marcus Jones]

Another excellent poem that the reader can relate to. Lovely style and phrasing rich in honest expression. I like it. 100/100

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks my friend, I can't tell you how much your kind words mean.

[Pax]

I am more on the center of both introvert and outgoing... they called it Ambiversion... because often times i love being alone and sometimes i love to be outgoing and have fun... so it really depends on the mood... this is really well expressed...

[kublakhan27]

I understand...I have the potential to be outgoing but I'd have to know someone (like friends of the family for instance) for literally years before I reach that point, and I haven't known many people for years at a time...thanks for reading my friend.

[Pax]

a pleasure to come here always my friend..

[shallimarRose]

LOL @ "Old"
OHHH you meant the poem? jk...
Enjoyed this.. I was actually very much an introvert.. The use of "Immaculate sunblock greasing up the impact of the nights thud" really gave me pause to think. And in the ending.. Lossof mind almost gave it an insanity plea feel for me. Great job.
thank you. shallimarRose

[kublakhan27]

LOL You know, when I put that word in there, it never occurred to me that it could be a reference to my age and not the poem, but a few people have mentioned it now which is kinda funny cuz while the poem is old, I'm not exactly young either...I haven't changed much if at all in the ten years since it's been written though...there are shy people and then there are introverts...shy people can become outgoing, but once you're an introvert, you're always one...maybe I'm wrong but that's how I feel...a lot of the images here have to do with trying to be someone you're not, and from that comes an identity crisis, hence the image at the end...I'm glad you enjoyed it and were able to relate to it so deeply, thank you :)

[shallimarRose]

Well as a child i was an introvert I think.. Not so much shy as invisable and wanted to stay that way... As an adult many things that happened in my childhood led me to feel unworthy maybe.. Shy? could have been.... I believe in being real... real pictures, real friends, real age.. (well sometimes) lol... I am not young either.. In fact I was there when dirt was born.. hehe.. xo

[Frieda P]

Sounds like not much has changed since you wrote this one Benji....it still holds true today, funny we just had this conversation recently too.

Stares of admiration
open-ended
for the lack of notice
or acknowledgement

If you only knew how much you're admired and realized how truly talented you are, like I've said before, I think it has something to do with the genius in you, must be a name for this kind of madman/genius confliction ;-) xo

"There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose idea, shining in his head, frightened people, and for whom delirium was the only solution to the strangulation that life had prepared for him."
Artaud, Antonin

[kublakhan27]

Not a thing has changed Mrs.R ;P I'm not sure why, but I was kind of glad you didn't see this one till after the conversation...I guess it just offers a bit of context to go with my 2002 mindset, which, again, is a whole lot like my 2013 mindset...

Now for the gushy bit: I am humbled beyond words by your support and unequivocal belief in me...it really means the world to me, I can't repeat that enough :) To be referred to as a genius is beyond the realms of anything I would ever expect to hear..wow, my eyes are welling up just looking at this review...but I will copy and save it, and will undoubtedly refer to it for inspiration when my spirits are low...thank you Frieda, for everything.

I love that quote as well, that's a new one for me haha I will save that as well ;) xo

[Dana Alsamsam]

what i mainly have to say about this is...same. i think i may be on the same boat with you and sarah. i too related to this piece. i was pulled in from the second line because i just did the extreme haircut thing a month ago, but it's not like that changed the fact that i'd rather be in my bedroom cave than out at a party. unfortunately i am not a new me. great work

[kublakhan27]

This review means a lot to me...you and Sarah pretty much nailed it in terms of how I was feeling at the time of writing, and continue to feel well over a decade after this piece was written...I'm so glad to know there are some people that can relate to this...it's so easy to fall prey to trying to be someone you're not, and no, there is no "new me" to speak of either, but I'm learning to embrace that...thank you my friend.

[Dana Alsamsam]

yea i'm sort of learning to be okay with the me i have even though i don't like myself often. there's something special about introverts. i think we see things that sometimes others don't. and never a problem :)

[kublakhan27]

We seem to relate to each other very much my friend...I think it's natural for even the most confident of people to dislike themselves, or at least be unsure of themselves, at one time or another in their lives...but there's an element of mystery that goes with being people like us, and a little mystery never hurts for a poet ;)

[Dana Alsamsam]

yea i'm in one of those lulls where i dislike everything that i am. can't even write a poem that i like in the past two weeks. but i totally agree- the introversion is definitely a gift sometimes. cheers!

[kublakhan27]

Let me just say that I know exactly how you feel...summer has a way of draining me, especially when my health issues surface...frankly I've had enough of summer...it's also the time of year I struggle most creatively...I just can't concentrate with the heat and so on...but I'm trying to keep my chin up, and I hope you can do the same...cheers my friend :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

same to you :) we can get through it.

[kublakhan27]

We most certainly can...try to keep smiling :)

[Traci]

Very well written my friend. Definitely an honest write that many can relate to, myself included. We've talked much about this, and I admire the strength and courage it takes to write such a personal piece.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Traci, you're a dear friend and it makes me doubly happy to know I can write things that you relate to...we are most certainly cut from the same cloth :) Thank you for reading, and more importantly, for understanding. xo

[Traci]

Always my pleasure dear friend. You are a gifted poet and your words touch lives every day, never underestimate how powerful they are.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you love, I hope you know the effect is mutual...give yourself some credit too, cuz without your support and your poetry, I am a less happy person :)

[dw817]

⊰ℛℛ⊱
Reading this it appears to be the opposite of introvert - an extrovert. There are a few passages in here that seem to pertain to vanity.

[1] extreme haircut
[2] graphic pierce (body piercing ?)
[3] immaculate sunblock (concerned about how one appears on a beach)
[4] stares of admiration - public vanity

[kublakhan27]

Ummm, I usually don't like to give away too much when it comes to these things, but I think this is about someone trying to be someone they're not...even the implied visions of vanity are offset by an element of insecurity...thanks for reading and commenting :)

[dw817]

I had never considered someone vain as being insecure. Usually they strike me as aloof and proud. Curious consideration there. :7

[kublakhan27]

It should probably be noted as well that this written by a person with bipolar...

[dw817]

Read by the same. *Grin*

[kublakhan27]

I'm sorry to hear that you share this condition, but relieved that someone can relate on that level ;)

[dw817]

Yes I can. No I can't. Excuse me for a second will ya ? Hey, I'm talking. And I'm listening. You can't listen if you're talking. But I said I'm listening ! There you go again. Fine. Fine ! Double Fine ! Why do you do this to me ??

Umm ... you'll have to forgive us, sometimes we can disagree with each other. :)

[kublakhan27]

LOL Now that made me laugh, in a complimentary way...I wish I had a witty response but I can't top that...those conversations are all too familiar to us, I mean me, or...oh forget it :D

[dw817]

Curiously both me and Rose can easily carry on a conversation in the absence of the other. As I told her years ago and she tends to agree. Apart we have difficulty functioning in real society. Together, we almost make up one sane person. :7

[Kleio13]

A good way to poetically describe the meaning of old. good work

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks^^

[Angi]

I am an introvert. I hermit and I hide when the outside gets too loud. I really have to fight with myself some days. My inner dialogue can be shocking! Ha! It is a strange thing when these numb and painless days come upon me. I seem to float above myself and when I get home, I sit in wonder at what I accomplished that day. This piece spells all that ^ out for me. Angi~

[kublakhan27]

It almost sounds like you're talking about me here, you summed up my feelings and mindset so succinctly...I am prone to stress-related seizures (the latest coming last week) and sporadically, panic attacks...they are almost always brought on by crowds, which prevents me from having a proper job but that's another story...I'm so glad that someone was able to tap into that mindset as perfectly as you did...thank you Angi.

[Angi]

That is so strange, Steve! I get panicky, sweaty and I break out in splotchy hive~like rashes on my neck and chest. I also get a wierd tic when I am under stress. This only happens rarely. I have to be on the spot, really on the spot for this to happen. I wonder why this is so? Just thinking about the stress brings more stress and then it snowballs. i understand, I do. Gaaa. It sooo sucks, doesn't it??

[kublakhan27]

It does indeed suck my dear friend...I've never had a problem with rashes but I'm stricken with the most awful migraines when I come to, and if there was anything in my stomach at the time, it doesn't stay in there...the seizures themselves are not really dangerous, but during last week's episode, I landed on my elbow with all my weight and face-planted the sidewalk...I posted a few photos of it afterwards :P I guess it all comes back to the writing for me, as I'm sure it does with you, though I still have to try to not get worked up in times of writer's block cuz it does get to my head after a while...I'm usually happy when I learn that we have something in common, but not so much in this case, but at least we know there's someone else who feels the same way and can relate :)

[Angi]

I wondered what happened to your face. Landing on your elbow is bad! make sure you really pay attention to it and seek treatment if you need to. Joint injuries can flare up the older you get. Amxiety and stress are strange things. Some days, I am confident and have no issues at all. Other days, I have to just hide. The seizures must be so frightening for you. It does feel better to talk to someone who understands about anxiety first hand. I have a ton of aquaintances and only a handful of true friends. My husband and I just had dinner with a neighbor and her husband Friday night. She is an extrovert (painfully so. She calls me to go 'do things' all the time. The horror! ha!) I tried to explain to her that it had nothing to do with her when I decline her invitations. She looked at me like I was sitting in a moldy petri dish. My husband just squeezed my hand under the table.

[kublakhan27]

Oh it's okay, I spent an hour in the hospital and they checked everything, and I was able to walk out no problem...what the pics don't show though is that I have this huge brown bruise on my elbow which was pretty sore for a couple of days but pretty good now...again I know just how you feel about these scenarios...the first couple I got as a kid were scary, but the first thing I feel now on the eve of one is irritation, like "here we go again"...I've gotten so tired of people thinking that social anxiety is a light switch (no pun intended given your background haha) and that being out in public just cures it...well it doesn't, it makes it worse...you and your husband have a wonderful bond :)

[Mike Cole]

this was a very good poem, very descriptive and I really liked that

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Mike, glad you liked it.

[Mike Cole]

No problem and feel free to read mine as well :)

[kublakhan27]

Will do :)