UNFAIR GROUNDS

UNFAIR GROUNDS

A Poem by kublakhan27
"

06 18 13

"
I. What If I Wish

What if I wish
not to sleep
What if I endeavour
not to invest
in the optimism of
the digital finality of
midnight pills and
cloudy glasses
What if I pretend
to live numberless
and pulverize
integer conformity
What if I could
What then
if I did

What a joke

II. To Forget Midnight

I write
to forget midnight

(New Year's Eve
Are you listening?)

Keep the stars
Screw the mysteries
and theories that
impale the firmament
like a junkie dart
in a dead callus

III. For Cotton Candy?

What if cotton candy
penetrated self-inflicted
metaphors of malaise
with a lemon-shaded
downpour of sucrose
instead of ashen
thunderclouds evaporating
like amusement park
con artists

Keep the embryonic
morning quilt of clouds
seasoned with the
cross-breed insinuation
of swiss cheese and
cotton candy

New Year's Eve
Are you listening?

IV. What A Joke, or 12:01

I write
to get on with
the next day at a time

© 2013 kublakhan27


Author's Note

kublakhan27
Captcha: overfear


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Featured Review

A lot to ponder here, amazing. What if the numbers on that clock had no meaning, and time did not dictate our existence... if everything that looked sweet actually was... if one day at a time didn't need to be one minute at a time.

Some thoughts your words have given me - I don't know if these were the intended concepts, but that's what is so great about poetry. I am impressed with this!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

There were many things swirling around in my head when I wrote this one, none of them good unfortuna.. read more



Reviews

Loved the stanza format you've chosen to use here. It really brings to life the validity of this fine write. The overall theme easily speaks for itself. One of your best to date. Keep up the great work. :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

Thank you my friend, and the same to you :)
wow- this was enticing and incredible. reminded me of my personal favorite literary master: e.e. cummings. incredible job. this one's getting shelved in the library to revisit and read again!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

Thank you Dana...I haven't read any Cummings in a while but I've always been fascinated by his style.. read more
Dana Alsamsam

11 Years Ago

no worries, it takes me a long time to get around to my RRs as well. and yes, if you'd like to take .. read more
kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

Consider it done ;)
This is superior penmanship. Love the science and mathematical terminology dispersed throughout.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

Many thanks my friend.
Did you know that people with bipolar disorder tend to be skilled at metaphorical thought? Just saying.

Love how this balances playful with gravitas. And I *really* love the stanza titles.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

Yes, I did haha Glad you liked it, thank you :)
In your stuff... in this piece... It's impossible for the naked eye to see but I feel there are tiny little cuts, here and there so that the words, lines, stanzas are like a sort of magnetic poetry set. In my mind I move them about by just reading in various directions; left, right, up, down, diagonal, etc.. It's amazing what falls out, drops out, hops out, sprints out and runs slobbering for the big red button near the sign on the wall, the one labeled "Escape Pod." E.g.: "What if I wish to forget midnight for cotton candy?" The wheel of fortune spins, that clicking sound, those spaces lighting up so the winning contestant solves the puzzle. A phrase from a famous poem by the founding father of the poetic school of Neonoetics, "What A Joke, or 12:01." One can only wonder at the taxes levied on those prize winners.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

...and congratulations and solving the puzzle...I won't make you read this for the rest of your life.. read more
Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat

11 Years Ago

Yhaarrrr!! {throws pirate hat into the air}
kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

;P
Woah bud, I can feel the frustration in this write. Your title drew me in and I loved it. You had me teary eyed but maybe thats just me and if its not what you were going for then sorry, must have interpreted it wrong. :-/

Great piece, kudos to you

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

Thanks bud, sorry to make you cry so much :P
s y e

11 Years Ago

Haha, don't be sorry!
kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

Okay ;)
Amazing grace and brilliance capture your every word Steve, you said you were going to get this one out there and you did it with such excellence that it's blinding to the mind's eye. Frenetic and relatable, there are no abstract meanings here, the frustration is palpable....if I'd read this at 3 AM I'd have cried in your tears...I read this earlier and was unable to respond, you know the reason why...

"It begins with your family, but soon it comes around to your soul.
Well I've been where you're hanging, I think I can see how you're pinned:
When you're not feeling holy, your loneliness says that you've sinned"

You know this one is going straight into my favorites....xo

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

My dear Frieda...I wish I had the words to articulate my gratitude and equal the support that you've.. read more
Steve,
I can feel the frustration, the hair ripping kind. It also feels frantic. Trying to find just the right words. In your face, New Year's Eve! That midnight ticking closer makes no difference to me! I will conquer these words, yet! Angi~

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

Thank you Angi...this did indeed come from a deep dark place that I try not to visit, yet it tends t.. read more
This is very nice, really amazing.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

I'm glad you like it...thank you :)
This hyperactivity has produced some fearful images for me, Steve. Thankfully my brainstorm is a morning thing which stops me doing practical stuff....and knackers me by 10 o`clock. You need a boring friend you can call...then fall asleep not listening to them. Your dilemma has produced a great poem I wish you had had no need to write. P.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

Thanks so much my friend...I scared myself to a degree in the process of writing this...one of art's.. read more

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989 Views
24 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 4 Libraries
Added on June 18, 2013
Last Updated on June 18, 2013

Author

kublakhan27
kublakhan27

Nova Scotia, Canada



About
My first book is out! Any comments that anyone may have to offer regarding my work would be deeply appreciated, as I'm yet to get a review. www.amazon.com/Waltz-Around-Swirls-Steven-Fortune/dp.. more..

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