Bestow on me the unredeemed history of some time-maligned camp hiding out in mangled hieroglyphics storeys underneath my feet too abyssal for encouragement from Pompeii too fleet in cameos hanging from the rotted props of a collective unconscious
Like children in reverse I'll adopt the millstone of every lonesome epoch laddering above me not to climb like a pulpit of existence but to circumvent the pace of history's marathon of severance slowed by stumbles on the hurdles of the established
II.
Archeologists employ sandy knees to align their sight with a dyke of dirt to punch holes into with rock fists of consensus
Like me their underground is not a ceiling but a wall
III.
I supersede myself in solitude with aspirations of an irretrievable time-capsule fate
Too alive I remain to run from a sentence swinging me into the data dungeon of a census
The unseen-forest-tree history will have to wait as I close my eyes and harp on some way to worm my essence into the fine print of a footnote living only in the indifferent squints of readers strapped for time
First of and always Thankyou is funny how images can work against you if one reads the description on the right hand side you define yourself in ways. I work in IT so probably pay too much attenion to them things and it automatically created an image of what I was about to read all wrong I guess but onwards. The fact is thatI felt quite a strong unravelling and desire for something to come about. Very strong in its own diversity. Thoughts coming to think you away. And the stregnths continue. Indeed too alive.
A source of stregnth really and a good one.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
I know what you mean...I'm always hesitant to put those tag words in for that very reason and I may .. read moreI know what you mean...I'm always hesitant to put those tag words in for that very reason and I may stop doing it...I'm glad that the poem spoke to you on different levels though, it always makes me happy when I can do that...thank you Rene.
First of and always Thankyou is funny how images can work against you if one reads the description on the right hand side you define yourself in ways. I work in IT so probably pay too much attenion to them things and it automatically created an image of what I was about to read all wrong I guess but onwards. The fact is thatI felt quite a strong unravelling and desire for something to come about. Very strong in its own diversity. Thoughts coming to think you away. And the stregnths continue. Indeed too alive.
A source of stregnth really and a good one.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
I know what you mean...I'm always hesitant to put those tag words in for that very reason and I may .. read moreI know what you mean...I'm always hesitant to put those tag words in for that very reason and I may stop doing it...I'm glad that the poem spoke to you on different levels though, it always makes me happy when I can do that...thank you Rene.
You have such talent and I love your words and work :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I'm so glad you do, and you know I love your work as well :) Thanks so much for the support and taki.. read moreI'm so glad you do, and you know I love your work as well :) Thanks so much for the support and taking the time to read and understand me :)
Your words will live on, man. They will. I don't review you often enough. Your last stanza tells you why. You can leave the indifferent bit out, though. I have to really open myself and think when I read you. I am a simple writer, as you know. I have to work on the more complex stuff. Always love your work! Angi~
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
It's quite alright my friend, I know I have your friendship and that's all that matters...I really w.. read moreIt's quite alright my friend, I know I have your friendship and that's all that matters...I really wish I could write simpler and be more relateable to more people, cuz I don't know if my natural style lends itself well to that, but it is my natural style so I have no choice but to embrace it...see, surely I could have found a way to say that with less words haha So glad you love my work, thank you Angi :)
11 Years Ago
Don't wish your style away. Don't. That is what makes us all unique and interesting. Reading diff.. read moreDon't wish your style away. Don't. That is what makes us all unique and interesting. Reading different poets teaches. I learn new words, new ways to look at things and I learn to think differently...open myself up. Angi~
11 Years Ago
Very true my friend...when it comes to silver linings I am colour-blind...I will be sure to remind m.. read moreVery true my friend...when it comes to silver linings I am colour-blind...I will be sure to remind myself of your words regularly :)
11 Years Ago
Just saw this pop on my feed, Steve. Man, you have a way with words I wish I had. Well done once a.. read moreJust saw this pop on my feed, Steve. Man, you have a way with words I wish I had. Well done once again. Angi~
You always know how to humble me my friend...I'm not a patient person by nature, but writing is the .. read moreYou always know how to humble me my friend...I'm not a patient person by nature, but writing is the one exception...I can sit on something for days till I get it to where I like it, and even then I might never totally like it haha Like many of my poems, this did not come overnight...so I may have a way with words but there's an element of illusion to that, for I'm hardly a natural ;P Thank you again Angi, for all your support :)
11 Years Ago
You have my support, Steve! You do. I understand, too.
Oh yeah, I totally get it...really. No need to explain, I mean, shuh, what else COULD it be about, right? So, yeah...I hear ya, man...It is so completely like that. Yup.
This was a sensory experience...cryptic in the best possible way. I tried to "figure it out", but then I read it again and just allowed the words to wash over me and found that sometimes in looking too closely at something we begin to unravel the tapestry and we are left with nothing but a pile of thread where once there was beauty. So...I shall leave my imagination to run wild with this one and just enjoy the ride. You are a wordsmith of the highest caliber.
One little question:
Should it be "Stories Underneath my Feet"?
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you Sarah :) I like the approach the took with this...I was hoping this cater to the imaginati.. read moreThank you Sarah :) I like the approach the took with this...I was hoping this cater to the imagination without bogging readers down with abstract imagery...I'm glad this one spoke to you in the way it did, and thank you as always for the compliments...they do mean a lot :) The title is a pun, with storeys referring to how deep underground the aforementioned hieroglyphics are ;)
Well, well... I wrote this long "thing", my usual interpretations, you know, but I'm reluctant to besmirch your nice page with it. I let it set for a couple of hours and it sprouted a sort of icky mold. You can still have it if you want it. O_o
That said, I'm pretty sure history will find a good place for you and your work. Something a little more prominent than a footnote. Sheesh! Give yourself a little credit, OK? Of course it may be the history as told by sand worms or hooter monkeys but hey, it's all good, right? :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Haha yeah people tell me I should blow my own horn more often but my inferiority complex doesn't all.. read moreHaha yeah people tell me I should blow my own horn more often but my inferiority complex doesn't allow it x_x I say this a lot but I don't know if I'd be writing if not for the support I get here...all things considered, I'm quite content with my WC notoriety ;)
I loved how you numbered the stanzas! :) Smart cookie you are, haha. This was a really intriguing write that had me hooked from the first line. I think you have a lovely way with words and writing them, then making wonderful poetry! Haha.
This was written in such a way that I had to read it to my Gran so she could explain it to me, haha, I loved it though and she said it's really well written! :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Wow, those are incredible sentiments my friend...I'm so glad that you and your Gran liked it :D I wa.. read moreWow, those are incredible sentiments my friend...I'm so glad that you and your Gran liked it :D I wasn't sure how this one was going to be received...this came from a deep place, I'm not gonna lie haha But when I read such a review, it makes me feel better than you know...thank you, big time ;)
The pleasure was ours :) It was great and we both enjoyed it, I love your works. Always a great plea.. read moreThe pleasure was ours :) It was great and we both enjoyed it, I love your works. Always a great pleasure to read. :) We could tell it came from a deep place. Well done
There's so much brilliance in this poem, too abyssal for encouragement from Pompeii
this line itself speaks volumes knowing Pompeii's pride/ego and personality.. wow..
i cannot say i understood the entirety of the poem and that i'll say is due to my lack of intelligence but this poem lacked nothing, i'd love to know what this poem means in detail whenever you get the time. love your writing, i'm like dumbfounded at the brilliance my eyes have just encountered through your words.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much my friend...I assure you that lack of intelligence has nothing to do with it...you.. read moreThank you so much my friend...I assure you that lack of intelligence has nothing to do with it...you couldn't write as greatly as you do without it :) I knew this piece would garner mixed reactions in terms of what parts make sense and what parts are impenetrable...I think the best way I could explain it is the way I did in Frieda's response below...but again, thank you for your support my friend...it means the world :)
Love the formated numbered stanzas. It adds reverance to a well written poem displaying a creative genius within the theme of it. Great write. :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I actually debated the numbered stanzas for quite a while, but the more I thought about it, the more.. read moreI actually debated the numbered stanzas for quite a while, but the more I thought about it, the more they just seemed to fit haha Thanks very much my friend :)
My first book is out! Any comments that anyone may have to offer regarding my work would be deeply appreciated, as I'm yet to get a review.
www.amazon.com/Waltz-Around-Swirls-Steven-Fortune/dp.. more..