SELF-REBUTTAL

05 07 13

How many have I hurt
in proportion to the unwritten
poems that accrue like broken
seashells on a dog-eared shore
of disillusion?

How often have I feigned
drowning in generic torrents
of advice crowned with
salted cotton fluffs
of condescension?

How often do I bury
a protruded lip and closed eyes
in my own torso in
resigned recollection
of the dynasty of good-dude
assurances extended, unaware
of mind-coated blisters of
resentment, housing moisture
that would likely manifest itself
in tears if freed by the friction
of concern against disposition?

How many would I hurt for real
if I lived on my own terms?

Author's Note

For the dorm boys, who I hope are happy...and sober...

Reviews

[Frieda P]

Okay I hardly have to say I adore this write, I am swallowing each word at the moment, and digestion is well, you know....weird, but that's the only way to explain it. You've hit so many nerves here Benji, I can't begin to tell you, but you already know that right? Fabuloso...and all that jazz! No words are adequate enough to describe how I felt this one in my bones! x

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Mrs.R, I don't know what I'd do without your support, and your ability to tap into what I'm feeling, even more so than what I'm writing I'd dare say...the words pretty much speak for themselves, as does my gratitude :) xox

[ChemicalMadness]

"If freed by the friction of concern against disposition..." Great line, that.

CM

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much

[B-poet]

Brilliant eloquence my friend. You've outdone yourself with this one. Keep up the great work. :)

[kublakhan27]

Thank you as always my friend :)

[Pax]

How many would I hurt for real
if I lived on my own terms?

~ well in some case it can hurt lot, if we don't hold on to our words carefully~ some nasty feedback will come out and hurt people ~ words carelessness can lead to bad consequences ~ ends up hurting both parties ~ as i know you in your verses and reviews your a good person my friend ~ your always careful ~ so don't worry you are fine and doing good in your life so as i see it in your verses... Well expressed as always your poems are highly profound ~ i did had a glance in the dictionary for meaning LOL ~ awesome!

[kublakhan27]

LOL It's okay my friend, you're not the first person to inform me that I sent them to a dictionary :P Free will is a delicate monster, and he doesn't just manifest himself in words...I have a habit of telling the world all about this on a regular basis, but when I was in school, I was confined to an all-male dorm and surrounded by bad-boy types...I often wonder how many girls they hurt in proportion to the ones they attracted like bugs to pollen...but they were happy, cuz they lived on their own terms...I try not to think about it cuz it drives me crazy...I know I harboured more loneliness than my entire dorm combined cuz I didn't follow the bad-boy path, and I wonder how much happier I would have been if I did, even if I did hurt people in the process...I like this piece because it's as close as I've ever come to articulating this dilemma, both in words and in real-life...thank you again for the support my friend...just like the poem says, I don't know where I'd be without it :)

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

you are fine
you are not hurting anyone
only doing your bit
in the grand scheme of things

[kublakhan27]

Thank you my friend...I try to remind myself of that every day...

[s y e]

Woweee, the imagery in this piece is spot on! I love your writes, it was quite metaphorical and I loved how at the end of each stanza you left off with a question.

"How often do I bury
a protruded lip and closed eyes"

Loved these line, very visual. You had me thinking in this write, I loved it.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Noodle, your support means a lot :)

[s y e]

You're welcome. :-)

[Baby Ricochet]

These are some good metaphors and that takes some skill. Good job Kublakhan27

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks as always

[Zahra]

Interesting style and really thought provoking. Very nice.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much^^

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

More people need to appreciate this style of poem, the rhetorical commentary. It's a healthy way to purge the rats from the sewers and the mice from the grain bins. You have my applause for what it's worth.

[kublakhan27]

There are indeed no shortage of rats and mice crawling around in head these days...I'm always grateful for your applause...thank you my friend.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

An interesting piece...very introspective. I like when a poet questions his/her own intentions within a piece, because a questioning nature is that which keeps us honest in our writing.

How often do I bury
a protruded lip and closed eyes

I really love the above two lines. Very visual, but visceral as well. We so often bury things that would be better unearthed and dealt with. I quite enjoyed this one...it was a thinking piece.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much Sarah...your kind words mean a lot :)

[Pete Langley]

You`re just humane, mate. This says a lot about most of us, don`t it? It`s not hypocrisy, it`s humanity, is all. We`d all like to shed the cloak now and then. Love it. P.

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks my friend...I can't even begin to tick off the factors that brought this one to light...I'm glad to know you understand.