I think the more you love and feel loved, the greater the increase of your anxiety because when you do something and feel something beyond the usual for someone you start to fear that you are not good enough and then you lose your clarity. And then suddenly it requires seeing who you are doing it for and their appreciation to make you feel secure. And whoa, your rhyming is awesome!
Posted 11 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Barbie and Ken were the couple I used as a metaphor for this, long before they discontinued with the.. read moreBarbie and Ken were the couple I used as a metaphor for this, long before they discontinued with the production of Ken (I'm pretty sure I heard that a little while ago)...maybe this is prophetic in the sense that even dolls grow romantically insecure after a while :P You definitely become a different person when romance is in your sights...there are not enough numbers to count the times I embarrassed myself through school trying to impress girls...but I've never bought into that "be yourself" mentality that everyone used to try and console me with...at least I got a response when I wasn't being myself haha Thank you Maryanne for reading and understanding :)
11 Years Ago
I got the feeling that you were referring to that doll but I set the name aside and delve into the c.. read moreI got the feeling that you were referring to that doll but I set the name aside and delve into the content of the poem. At least I've learned that assumption could make you look stupid, lol. But there's still uncertainty on there and yes when it comes to love we can become a different person. I for one am520no stranger to it. You're welcome, Steve! Happy April Fools':)
I don't know what happened but it should be: I for one am no stranger to it.
11 Years Ago
There's nothing stupid about what you say Maryanne :) You've never been wrong on anything I've writt.. read moreThere's nothing stupid about what you say Maryanne :) You've never been wrong on anything I've written, this is no exception :)
I don't know how I forgot this, but Poor Ken was actually my original title for this...I had to thro.. read moreI don't know how I forgot this, but Poor Ken was actually my original title for this...I had to throw that in ;)
From a girl that used to rip the heads off her Barbie dolls...I think many that have been hurt in a relationship will relate to your words...to the fear of being discarded after the initial "honeymoon" period is over. There are so many different layers to your poetry. You truly are a brilliant poet my friend.
:) Julie
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
So glad you enjoyed it my friend...this is one of the earliest things I ever wrote if you can believ.. read moreSo glad you enjoyed it my friend...this is one of the earliest things I ever wrote if you can believe it...it started as a teenage rant and has gotten increasingly significant with age...thank you as always for the support, it means a lot :)
Hmm it sounds like the fear we all have of being used and thrown away when we no longer amuse.We fall in love and we are not sure to stay that way just as easily we are replaced and tired of and I think a most awesome pen KK :)
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks so much Vidya, I'm glad you enjoyed it :) I have lived through this more than once...
There's a lot of potential here for a ballad coming from a toy and its violent owner, and I think you're onto something pretty significant. I must say, I was expecting(in my messed up mind) a situation similar to tiny Gulliver in the second chapter of Gulliver's Travels, but of course you don't have to make a reference to Gulliver to make this piece stick. I do think there's a lot of potential here in the idea of a tormented doll though, and I think you can elaborate more on Ken's mistreatment, rather than being so vague. There is also a great opportunity for humor here, perhaps if Ken is looking forward to something that will never happen or if Ken knows secrets about his owner. Maybe the owner doesn't even have to be a kid. You're definitely onto something none the less and I say keep working on it, add some more details, and you'll have gold.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
This one is an older piece so I was still trying to find my voice at this point...I actually didn't .. read moreThis one is an older piece so I was still trying to find my voice at this point...I actually didn't post this for several years but decided to do it just for fun one day...I do like the Gulliver idea...it never occurred to me before but it makes perfect sense now that I think of it...I'll try to elaborate on it a little further in the future if time permits...thanks for the ideas and input :)
I think the more you love and feel loved, the greater the increase of your anxiety because when you do something and feel something beyond the usual for someone you start to fear that you are not good enough and then you lose your clarity. And then suddenly it requires seeing who you are doing it for and their appreciation to make you feel secure. And whoa, your rhyming is awesome!
Posted 11 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Barbie and Ken were the couple I used as a metaphor for this, long before they discontinued with the.. read moreBarbie and Ken were the couple I used as a metaphor for this, long before they discontinued with the production of Ken (I'm pretty sure I heard that a little while ago)...maybe this is prophetic in the sense that even dolls grow romantically insecure after a while :P You definitely become a different person when romance is in your sights...there are not enough numbers to count the times I embarrassed myself through school trying to impress girls...but I've never bought into that "be yourself" mentality that everyone used to try and console me with...at least I got a response when I wasn't being myself haha Thank you Maryanne for reading and understanding :)
11 Years Ago
I got the feeling that you were referring to that doll but I set the name aside and delve into the c.. read moreI got the feeling that you were referring to that doll but I set the name aside and delve into the content of the poem. At least I've learned that assumption could make you look stupid, lol. But there's still uncertainty on there and yes when it comes to love we can become a different person. I for one am520no stranger to it. You're welcome, Steve! Happy April Fools':)
I don't know what happened but it should be: I for one am no stranger to it.
11 Years Ago
There's nothing stupid about what you say Maryanne :) You've never been wrong on anything I've writt.. read moreThere's nothing stupid about what you say Maryanne :) You've never been wrong on anything I've written, this is no exception :)
My first book is out! Any comments that anyone may have to offer regarding my work would be deeply appreciated, as I'm yet to get a review.
www.amazon.com/Waltz-Around-Swirls-Steven-Fortune/dp.. more..