Consider the slivers of flame in the cage and think about it
Stardom waits patiently enough in the vision of a maid waiting on a warm poker like a melting baton Is submission a gratuity willing to be left on my night stand for an audience with a lonely man's cliche of choice?
Why be satisfied with a maid's itinerary when stardom fidgets all the more anxiously for a maiden? All I'd ask on a whim of stipulation is a donning of a loose white toga to whitewash the winks of your exposed tan like a sheer smile of silk
Unless you wish to come and feed the fidget in the flesh envy is a fruitless answer to the wooden documentary I direct to keep my uniform fetish on ice
A note on the avatar: I didn't find that pic till after I wrote this, but if I'd seen it beforehand, it may very well have inspired this writing anyway.
I'm not sure if this happens anywhere else but in Canada we have this thing called Casual Fridays, when people can go to work wearing casual clothes...cuz it's Friday, I guess...
My Review
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Haha uniform fetish :D this poem is a little more deeper than just causal clothes on Fridays haha but don't all your poems have deeper meanings and secret agendas to them :D i love your flawless use of words. Good to read you after a long time, awesome awesome awesome!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Haha yes that was a late addition :D And it's true that there's more at work here than what is said .. read moreHaha yes that was a late addition :D And it's true that there's more at work here than what is said literally...thanks as always my friend, nice to hear from you again :D
Interesting piece, indeed. You have woven sensuality and sexuality perfectly without being too overt in your intentions. The writing flowed, and the imagery was...shall we say...quite unique and beautiful in a surreal sort of way. I loved the ending.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you Sarah, this one scared me a bit cuz it was a rare case in which I had no idea of how it wa.. read moreThank you Sarah, this one scared me a bit cuz it was a rare case in which I had no idea of how it was gonna be received...I never know which ones will be well-received but I usually know when I've written something that's gonna puzzle people haha The response has been pretty good though, and it seems like I was able to hit on that balance, which I wasn't sure about...glad you like it :)
Haha uniform fetish :D this poem is a little more deeper than just causal clothes on Fridays haha but don't all your poems have deeper meanings and secret agendas to them :D i love your flawless use of words. Good to read you after a long time, awesome awesome awesome!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Haha yes that was a late addition :D And it's true that there's more at work here than what is said .. read moreHaha yes that was a late addition :D And it's true that there's more at work here than what is said literally...thanks as always my friend, nice to hear from you again :D
I have no idea what this has to do with Casual Friday because it is clearly written about masturbation ;-) You don't need to be Freud to figure out what that warm poker means, that melting baton...I mean, come on! Whitewash the winks? Wish to come? Feed the fidget? Then, of course, there is the uniform fetish that keeps kimmer warm at night...See? Told you...masturbation.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
LOL Oh Kimmer, you and your saucy mind ;) I'm kidding, hey, I'm the one that wrote it after all...It.. read moreLOL Oh Kimmer, you and your saucy mind ;) I'm kidding, hey, I'm the one that wrote it after all...It's harder to explain than you might think though...I can't deny the presence of self-stimulation motif, but there's much more to it than that...truth is, it's more about a game that two can play...the maid/maiden connection is really the cornerstone of this piece...the poker, first and foremost, is for a maid who enjoys the hypnotism of a fireplace as much as I do...the fidgeting? Now that's when your observations start coming to the surface a little more haha I do find the image of a loose toga to counter the heat quite appealing...and maybe, just maybe, I had you in mind when I cited the uniform fetish ;P Needless to say, I'm glad you were able to tap into this piece with such depth...wishing you many warm nights ;)
Very interesting. This piece adds light to a particular semi-universal weekly custom. Great job. A brilliantly candid illustration of casual friday's. :)
"envy is a fruitless answer"
~ i found wisdom here... and very much true... envy is not a very good human nature... i find it very consuming.. that is why i try to shove it aside and think of the simple things i have/had and be satisfied...
the over all poem give a feeling of fame... or wantings to be with someone...hmm.. not totally sure... for your poem always hides something much more deep...
casual friday... like dearest Eli said...we wear always casual, every day... but the
weekend... just plain comfortable Tshirt...
this is great as always!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you as always my friend :) I mentioned this to a few other people but I had no idea I was writ.. read moreThank you as always my friend :) I mentioned this to a few other people but I had no idea I was writing something so deep until the reviews started coming in...it's funny too cuz everyone just assumes I'm hiding something now in every new piece I write, I like that though haha Actually I'm at a point now where I may be hiding things from my own conscience and I don't even know...I'll be reading this in five years and wondering what in the world I was talking about :P
11 Years Ago
haha.. that's nice! i try to hide something in my poem at times but still people can see it... i thi.. read morehaha.. that's nice! i try to hide something in my poem at times but still people can see it... i think you need to teach me how to hide meanins...:D and your most welcome my friend...
EXPLOSIVE! I LOVE THIS. you are bi-polar far beyond almost all the writers on this website btw are you published?
because you certainly deserve to be
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much...you are surprisingly the first one to call me out on the bipolar haha After year.. read moreThank you so much...you are surprisingly the first one to call me out on the bipolar haha After years of rejection I finally got four pieces published in the last year...thanks again, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
can yo give me any tips b/c i am waiting to see about disability for heiron addiction (now methadone.. read morecan yo give me any tips b/c i am waiting to see about disability for heiron addiction (now methadone addiction) anxiety genrealized plus seizuers which effect my brain and make me angry but i want to be published HELP!
11 Years Ago
I'll write you...
11 Years Ago
sweet
What an inspiring write my friend, I never heard of it in the meaning of how you bring this beautiful piece. For me it's always casual, but on weekends I can get girly girly ;)
But when I'm traveling not... than it's just way to casual he he...
You capture here a utterly old feel, ancient mixed with religion, (also) and modernity.
I guess, that is the art of this piece, all in one. Thank you for sharing :)
- Elisa
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
You know, I had no idea I was writing such a deep piece until the reviews started coming in...it's b.. read moreYou know, I had no idea I was writing such a deep piece until the reviews started coming in...it's been fascinating to see the different interpretations this one has gotten, stuff I never would have thought of :) I guess my influences really came out here too as probably 95 percent of what I read is from past eras, especially the Romantics, though things always seem to come out in a modern framework when I actually start writing...thank you as always for your input and support dear El :)
11 Years Ago
You're most welcome soul! I loved this, and your mind! :)
11 Years Ago
And I love your mind in equal measure...never stop being you :)
Leaves me at awe with your diction!.... I'm breathless....
...drawn to the flame of this casual friday.... could be anyday of the week for all I know, and it would still be magnetic!
Submission is a sweet surrender, my sweet K!!!
"Is submission a gratuity willing to be left
on my night stand for an audience
with a lonely man's cliche of choice?
Why be satisfied with a maid's itinerary
when stardom fidgets all the more
anxiously for a maiden?
All I'd ask on a whim of stipulation
is a donning of a loose white toga
to whitewash the winks of your exposed
tan like a sheer smile of silk
Unless you wish to come"~Amazing!...perfection in the most clever way!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Your reviews always make me smile Robbie :) Writing becomes a redundant activity in a hurry when you.. read moreYour reviews always make me smile Robbie :) Writing becomes a redundant activity in a hurry when you don't have an audience that cares, and when you know there is at least one person out there that truly dials in to what you're saying, it's the sweetest icing to ever grace a cake :) Yes, any day is a great day for submissiveness isn't it? But there's a big difference between a maid and a maiden ;) Thank you again Robbie for all your support :)
My first book is out! Any comments that anyone may have to offer regarding my work would be deeply appreciated, as I'm yet to get a review.
www.amazon.com/Waltz-Around-Swirls-Steven-Fortune/dp.. more..