SWALLOWED STANZAS (Extended)

12 13 10 - 02 09 13

I.

Brimstone sentiments accrue between my ears
Infernos of intent evaporate the frazzled tears
I was collecting for a pool of solace in which I could dip
my flaming head when hot environments unlocked my frozen lip

II.

Sometimes I think my stomach imitates a salt mine
when I swallow the prescribed advice on which I daily dine
Nightly I receive the water from the serpent glass I swear
is filled by no one but replenished by sin vapors hiding in my air

III.

Lip balm loopholes agree with my unworthy fingers
on the manner in which solemn moods impale lipstick bringers
but with nothing keen to paint with, bluntness is my only hope
though the words are always sharper than the shiniest erection scope

IV.

Incense shivers up its spiny stairway to the air
circulates a coat of cloud and hits the highway of my hair
I can rip a wafting route into a rash of tributaries
and apply a sigh of smog to each and commute and breathe obituaries

Author's Note

I never imagined I'd be writing anything "by popular demand" but many of you suggested I keep this piece going when I first unveiled it, so I've added two more stanzas...I don't think they're up to the standard of the original two, but if the feedback proves me wrong (like it did the first time around haha), maybe I'll make it a running project...I can't BELIEVE this piece is already two-plus years old O_o

Reviews

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

I keep reading and then reading again... and again. It's like a new form of heroin that is assimilated, not by the prickly spoonful but by the modulation of photons that impale the eyes with mental glyphs of lingual resonance. Each stanza is a different dime bag of worldly origin; a thing to be unwrapped slowly, carefully; as with a word junky's ritual homage. The product is sniffed, tasted on the tip of the tongue, and then gently warmed to an effervescent bubbling state... until it is ready for that laser-like transit across time and space where it rushes to spread throughout the mind in an intoxicating reverie of electric-like euphoria; then comes the bliss of mysterious, complicated possibilities.

How fitting... my Khan, your visage of poppy field origin that befriends and soothes while chaining the reader to you with this most ancient addiction of the soul. Should we continue to meet in the dark corners of the cafe? The ones where pleasantries are exchanged above the table while small packages slide beneath it from hand to hand... or should I just rat you out to the literati? You know the problem with junkies, don't you? They just keep wanting more and more... and more is never enough.

[kublakhan27]

Haha you always leave me tongue-tied my friend (or finger-tied), in a good way of course :) I actually tried to tie them together, but I also wanted each one to have its own identity...thank you as always for taking the time to digest my stuff and offer feedback that is creative - if not more creative - as the writing itself :)

[Frieda P]

What Ufo and the kimmer said...holy, where to begin with this. A thousand kisses deep on boogie Street for sure. Blow me away and seems you've been to Heaven also...that stairway does get around.

'I can rip a wafting route into a rash of tributaries
and apply a sigh of smog to each and commute and breathe obituaries'

I'm floating along on this one thinking of last breath. I could read this a hundred and one times and come away with a different regard and emotion for it every time. It's genius, but then I had no doubts. The second stanza is my very favorite but then again I could read it over and change my mind again, I think I'll just soak in it for while...now I'm sure if I have a headache or feel high. ;-)

[kublakhan27]

*blush* Thank you Frieda, so much :) All of your comments mean the world to me but this one is really special...maybe cuz you've turned the tables on me with the quotes haha But really, you humble me with your kind words...never in my wildest dreams have I ever imagined getting this kind of feedback on my words...I hope the highness has overthrown the headache tonight ;)

[Frieda P]

Woo, I made you blush, I must get points for that or something. You know your words are superior dearest...walk me to the corner, our steps will always rhyme ;-P

[kublakhan27]

:D It's a feat, no doubt about that...unfortunately I have no points to offer, just an endless stream of song quotes haha...and my equally endless thanks :)

[Frieda P]

The fumes from the fireplace must be making you hyper or something, you said thanks like ten times already ;-P

[kublakhan27]

Haha what can I say, I'm just overwhelmed with thanks for the kind words I've gotten on this...it's really beyond anything I could have ever imagined when I started writing all those years ago :)

[Frieda P]

OMG there you go again!! Well, you're just that good, accept it and shut up now.... you're like a drunk in a midnight choir. ;-P

[kublakhan27]

LOL Okay, if there's anything that can shush me it's one of those lines...you're just lucky I DON'T drink...imagine what would come out of me if I did haha I'd rather not imagine though cuz it makes me shudder :P

[Frieda P]

Go back and sit in front of the fireplace and chill my friend.. xo

[kublakhan27]

Haha yeah it does need another log now that you mention it...my toes are getting cold ;)

[Frieda P]

Just rub it in why don't ya?! ;-P

[kublakhan27]

LOL That's not what I meant...as I was saying, it's back to my very un-cozy place in the morning ;P

[Frieda P]

Yeah in the meantime you're throwin' another log on the fire and drinking hot toddy's in your lounging jacket! ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Haha not really, just plain old coffee and jogging pants...with a coffee stain...cuz the dog glomped me O_o

[Frieda P]

Jaysus! You ruined my perfectly good image of you...bleck, dog slobber!!

[kublakhan27]

LOL Perfect is the first key word there, and image is the second one :P

[Frieda P]

Ugh you English majors are annoying creatures ;-P

[kublakhan27]

LOL But so much more intriguing than the average creature, don't you think? ;)

[Androglossia]

That's the beauty of kublakhan27's writings! There are always underlying strata and can be interpreted in so many different level. I find it so hard to put my thoughts into words here. Since English is not my first language, understanding everything clearly was not an easy task to do. I had to read and re-read it. In the end when I finally finished reading, I realized that it wasn't a quick pick-up system, rather a mindset, a lifestyle and its a higher form of interaction. Excellent write once again:)

[kublakhan27]

:) Thank you Maryanne...I'm at a loss for words in trying to express how grateful I am for your compliments and the compliments of my other friends as well...of course you were the one of the first good friends I met when I came here, and one of the first to take this kind of interest in my writing...I've never forgotten that ;) I would never have guessed that English was not your first language if you didn't tell me...you speak better English than a lot of the people I studied English Literature with, seriously haha Again, thank you...your compliments mean the world to me :)

[Androglossia]

It is suppose to make me blush, isn't it? Lol, that was a nice dosage of confidence:) Thank you for saying that!

[Frieda P]

ha lots of blushing going on around the WC tonight! lol

[kublakhan27]

Haha trust me Maryanne, I do not toss such sentiments around idly...but it's a nice bonus if I can make you ladies blush in the process ;)

[Frieda P]

Wait a minute there buddy, you were the one blushing, not me! ;-P

[kublakhan27]

Haha yes, that is true...is that your way of telling me you don't blush easily? ;P

[Frieda P]

No I actually don't....is that bad? lol

[kublakhan27]

Haha not at all...trying to think of blush-related lines but I'm coming up empty, a shame ;P

[Robbie~xoxo~]

"Lip balm loopholes agree with my unworthy fingers
on the manner in which solemn moods impale lipstick bringers
but with nothing keen to paint with, bluntness is my only hope
though the words are always sharper than the shiniest erection scope"~ This entertains my mind...you have a way with words, which intrigue me to no end, my dear friend! Keeping up the pace with you is a work out indeed! ;)
Great work...lovely plethora of thoughts spilled from your ink....still flowing, I'm sure. :)

[kublakhan27]

:) Thank you so much...if you look at some of the other comments I've left here, you'll see that I'm absolutely tongue-tied by the magnitude of the kind words I've gotten...you are one of a small group of friends who have been unbelievably supportive of me and my words since I first arrived here...I can't tell you how much it means to me...again, thank you Robbie :)

[B-poet]

This is one of your best piece's to date. Cleverly written, a tactful and eloquent rhyming scheme and everything is correlated together as the poem's theme relates back to the title. A unique masterpiece. It's going in my library. Great work friend. :)

[kublakhan27]

Thank you so much my friend, not just for your kind words here but for the overall support you've sent my way...I never lose sight of that :)

[quinfinn]

this certainly waltzes the reader into previously undiscovered realms, and does so with a gracious and pendulous ease which is unsettling. i think i found myself on at least four separate venues in my mind when absorbing this, for each time i reread it i became aware of another possibility which i had previously overlooked. you know you have written a stellar piece of prose when your readers can be lead to so many different plateaus by a single write. this is a singular/multiple masterpiece....well done!

[kublakhan27]

Thank you my friend, your compliments mean the world to me, and this support is what keeps me inspired when writer's block and creative insecurity hits, which in my case, is quite frequently haha A simple thank-you almost feels hollow to me in response to the magnitude of this support, but I simply don't have the words to express how grateful I am...thank you, thank you, thank you :)

[quinfinn]

well done, poet.....gifted poet!

[kublakhan27]

:)

[KAOlmsted]

Leave it to Ufi to say pretty much verbatim what I was going to say...sheesh...

;-)

Seriously, though. What Ufi said...ditto. That last stanza is money.

[kublakhan27]

Haha yeah U doesn't leave much to say after he's spoken on a piece ;) But that's okay, I'm just happy to hear you like it...thank you Kim :)

[KAOlmsted]

U is...one of my all time favorite reviewers. I do like it, and it is always my pleasure to read you.

[EMMIE]

Wow...breathtaking. The imagery is just beautiful, love the concept and the style really sucks the reader in. Good writing!

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Emmie :)