SWALLOWED STANZAS

12 13 10

I.

Brimstone sentiments accrue between my ears
Infernos of intent evaporate the frazzled tears
I was collecting for a pool of solace in which I could dip
my flaming head when hot environments unlocked my frozen lip

II.

Sometimes I think my stomach imitates a salt mine
when I swallow the prescribed advice on which I daily dine
Nightly I receive the water from the serpent glass I swear
is filled by no one but replenished by sin vapors hiding in my air

Author's Note

An aging piece that is very much on par with how I'm feeling these days.

Reviews

[Prolific In Verse]

You should continue this write! What I've come to realize about you is you suffer in a very original way and some of your best work reflects your struggles as seen in an artistic light. And of course you know, millions will come to live who suffer a bit like you, so as such, even your darkest work could have considerable value in giving others solace.

And we all have our gift to give of what we do and how we give back to life. I am pretty sure you will get published, if you haven't already and if you need somoen to write a forward or a review...

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much, I never thought I would be revisiting this one but after numerous urgings to extend it, I may very well be doing that :) I have a few social shortcomings that I've been dealing with for most of my life and I'm sure my writing voice was borne of those circumstances...I was sure there were others in the same boat but I never really came across any till I came here, and I've been more prolific than I've ever been since.

I did manage to break through and make it into a couple of magazines this year...I was never actually a "serious" writer so my goal was pretty modest: I just wanted to get one thing published and if I did, I'd die happy, and I've exceeded that goal by two haha Now I'd like to get into a mainstream publication some day...again thank you for the kind words :)

[bryandc15]

nicely done my friend:)

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks :)

[Pax]

the imagery is outstanding in such short manner, i say powerful words spoken of what you are feeling. Great work as always my friend.

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks :)

[Kenneth The Poet]

A piece of genius if you ask me.

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks my friend, that means a lot.

[KAOlmsted]

II made me shiver...in a good way ;-) Really good stuff.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Kim, I'm glad to know I can give you the shivers, good ones of course ;)

[KAOlmsted]

Of course... ;-)

[MOON]

Lovely imagery receive water from the serpents glass oh dear! Great word choice.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much :)

[ms. barrie]

this is a simply brilliant poem, very unique and filled with amazing imagery. incredible use of language and again, brilliant use of word play. thank you for all your lovely reviews upon my writings, and for sharing. Happy New Year 13' to You and Yours :)

[kublakhan27]

Thank you so much, and Happy New Year to you as well :D

[ms. barrie]

you are verily welcome and thank you! :)

[kublakhan27]

:)

[ms. barrie]

:))

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

The bells didn't ring, the birds didn't sing, the sun didn't shine... and yet I came away feeling fine; even better than before. This is so uplifting, compared to where I was at. You've got to consider walking in ever widening circles while dropping bread crumbs. At least that way there'll be enough to stave off starvation. Hardly a day goes by that I don't consider sentiments and how they are evaporating in that vapid pool of solace locked between your ears. If your stomach imitates a salt mine then the only logical follow-on is to wonder if there is a lake of brimstone above it that will eventually collapse through of it's own flaming weight. I'm sure that there's a tome, somewhere, that has already addressed the issue in three volumes or more. Down a pint and then walk this wonderful whiskered piece to the salon for a makeover and air extensions. I know you can do it and it could be just the thing to cheer you up, my friend. :o)

[kublakhan27]

That's interesting...I never thought of it as a feel-good piece before haha But there is a kind of liberation in it, which probably lends itself to a positive context...and your compliments help that cause greatly as well :)

[quinfinn]

each one of these lines is pure prose ....brilliant write! i used to write this well....sigh

[kublakhan27]

Thank you as always :) Don't fret, this is an older piece and it makes me sigh a bit as well...

[quinfinn]

doncha just hate that? aaaaaaaaaaargh! thanks, friend!!!!

[kublakhan27]

:)

[KeeD]

"Infernos of intent evaporate the frazzled tears" What an amazing line, a creative genius you are. My only complaint is it's too short. I would like to read more. I want to read more. Your writing is addictive.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you as always my friend :) The overwhelming consensus is that this feels unfinished but I've struggled to come up with anything to prolong it...I'll keep working on it though lol