THE TWENTY-THIRD HOUR

12 07 12

Another hour hovers impatiently
above the authorized allotment
of my water
Another open circuit stripped
of recreation and reverse psychology
to counteract the pangs
of my crying nostrils

Without forbidden water
I'm a fresh sponge slave
to this sense-shredding
musical of mucus

I require no feverous reminders
of my role as caretaker
of quiet revolutions

I see the sun thinning
on the grater of shadow
I see molasses season on the brook
gelling up the current
and I see no one enlightened
by the discipline of my
Byronic quietude

Is that a valid reason to rescind
my water while I work?

Should the clouds of the hour pass rain
the frost I babysit shall make the mock
a challenge
No illegal alien season will
saturate the white wall of
my prescribed duties
I'll make the brook a mantle
for the fuzzy ornaments of winter
and blow off all insinuations
of aquatic indiscretions

Then I'll wait with tongue tied
willingly with anxious pride
for a thirst-drowning glass of apology

Author's Note

For Coleridge.

Reviews

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Avy, I'm glad you do like it :D Of course It wouldn't be me without the inclusion of some cryptic bits right? ;) I wrote the fourth stanza looking out at the brook that literally flows through my backyard...the current gets increasingly slower as it gets colder, until it's frozen solid...Byronic? Quiet, moody, introverted, self-absorbed, you get the idea haha

[That_Girl]

Molasses season is what threw me.... fall I guess? Haha idk.. wasn't really thinking I suppose. I know I know... Lord Byron haha

[kublakhan27]

Haha yeah that was just the metaphor that came to mind seeing the brook evolve from water to ice :P I guess I'm inclined to make everyone aware of my Byronism these days...I wasn't sure if that was a word but I checked and it is, so hooray for Byronism :D

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

You other entry nearly made the top 10 as well. I like your style of writing very much.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you very much, that means a lot^^

[That_Girl]

Ahhh that second stanza is brilliant. I honestly cannot grasp the fourth though....sigh. But, I got the rest and understood it all anyways (score!). So, great piece. :)

[kublakhan27]

Haha the fourth stanza is about the coming of Winter ;) Thank you Avy, I'm glad you liked and understood it :)

[Pax]

Coleridge...oh... you shed some knowledge of these poet.... i didn't know about him until i read him in wiki..:D i like the dedication... the depth of your work is to be admire... a puzzling scene you painted makes me think hard until i fall asleep...lol just joking... this is so vivid and well manage imagery that blows the mind off the board.. :D
great work my friend.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you so much :D There's something about this guy that I just relate to...even my online name came from one of his poems lol But I'm equally impressed that you took the time to look him up...I'm glad I was able to inspire that kind of response...many thanks again :D

[Pax]

your most welcome... I'm glad you liked my a bit funny response :D... i see he inspires u... and by the way... hypno is my favorite Psychic pokemon... hehe..

[kublakhan27]

Oh that's cool lol I seem to have a thing for the Psychics, I don't know why :P

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

Coleridge's ghost is going to need an extra helping of white powdered sugar donuts to see him through this read. I'm trying to choose between Picasso or Andy Warhol but it's beyond even that analogy. That there is a theme in the madness, to be sure, but what ward and what medication to administer to the naive and unassuming - that is the frightening question. It's like Rod Serling's into to the Twilight Zone, played in reverse and no preparation of spinning vinyl backwards under hallucinogenic seems likely to help. There is a subtle anger, perhaps seasoned with indifference that gnaws at the impatient awaiting that satisfying apology. The Sons of the Pioneers croon in the background, "Keep a searching Dan, ... water. Cool, clear water." The battery is dead. Long live the battery.

[kublakhan27]

Haha how do I put it now...I wrote this after reading Frost At Midnight for the zillionth time with a 90+ degree fever and heavy rain pounding on my roof...one of these days I swear I'm gonna rhyme "Byronic" and "ironic"...I'm shocked I haven't done it yet...something about Coleridge always makes me melancholy though, even without the ungodly fever and all...I'm sure his water brought out a lot of anger, indifference, impatience et al. But that's an artist right? haha Profession of eternal starving :P I do spin a lot of vinyl interestingly enough, though I listened to Stairway To Heaven backwards once and it made "Paul Is Dead" sound a lot jollier than it ever did beforehand...

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat]

Ah ha ha! ...clarity. Thank you!! :)

[kublakhan27]

:)

[Hamza]

"I see the sun thinning
on the grater of shadow
I see molasses season on the brook
gelling up the current"

very artistic .. :)

[kublakhan27]

Thank you :)

[Kenneth The Poet]

Good work. Love the conclusion, never heard of apology waiting in quite those terms before.

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks.