RAIN SOME LECTURE ON ME

01 04 11

I took the liberty of slurping up
the quiver on your gloriously clammy shoulder
My tongue was on the way there anyway
to quell the quarantine of shared sweat
handed down by my failing air conditioner
(I may have to remind myself
to chew on my next french fry)
No adnauseating hum will tamper
with the beat of our dramatic hips
smacking like exhausted blackboard brushes
in the airy aftermath of schoolyard bustle
Three o' clock sun ignites unprecedented hustle
in recalcitrant schoolboys blanketed
in discipline's dust cloud
Rain some lecture on me if you must
I'll lay out my stomach to put on your pelts
of vocal torrents and unearth my goosebumps
to bloom like fiddleheads of education
Never has a lonely syllable felt
more aware of the melodic subject
of predicated guardian angels

Reviews

[Androglossia]

Hmm.. think! think! think! Okay I'm thinking there is raw passion in there. Untamable passion. Furry skin to be laid on your stomach? Ha! Barbarically gorgeous! Those words are insane but gorgeous at the same time, made me think of Tarzan and Cleopatra fornicating at the conference hall of the White House. If you find this offensive, you're free to delete the comment but it's what came to me after reading the poem. Oh the mind..

[kublakhan27]

Oh I'm not offended in the least lol :D I was certainly walking a tightrope between love and lust so to speak, or human exploration and animal instinct...I seem to walk a lot of tightropes come to think of it :P I wanted passion but I was trying to throw in as many various degrees as possible...I'm not sure if degrees is the right word for it but it's the best one I can come up with at the moment...scenarios maybe? Oh the mind...oh my mind lol

[Androglossia]

lol, so you have this obesessive eagerness of finding the perfect sexual accomplishment? Well, love and lust could work together, I think. But remember, some of the most beautiful things doesn't need to be searched for, they just happen when you least expect it. And yes the mind haha!

[kublakhan27]

Haha yes, I'm very eager, markedly obsessive, and most likely playing a fool's game in the endeavor of hunting down what is probably an ideal. But I do agree whole-heartedly with everything you say. In fact, I do believe they bring out the best in each other. And true beauty certainly has a way of appearing when it's not being consciously sought out. Thankfully, I'm not so much of a fool that I've lost sight of that lol :)

[Androglossia]

Well good to know you haven't lost sight of that. Because I myself love to play the fool to the point of self-loath. It's amazing how powerful the mind is. And how dangerous.

[kublakhan27]

Don't worry, you're not alone in that regard...I say I'm not always a fool, but if you don't think I'm not a victim of self-loathing, just look at my profile and skim the rundown of my...um...characteristics o_o

[Androglossia]

I've read it many times. I always read a friend's profile when there's nothing to write or to say. And yes, aren't we all victims of our own powerful thoughts?

[kublakhan27]

Ah I see, that's probably a big reason why you have such a good understanding of where my writing is coming from :) And yes, we certainly are...

[Androglossia]

Probably so..:)

[Frieda P]

Oh I should have read Maryanne's first, yep pretty Barbaric! ;-)

[Androglossia]

Yeah am pretty. And Barbaric.

[Frieda P]

That's what she said.

[kublakhan27]

Haha yes there's a reason Maryanne is often my featured review :)

[Frieda P]

Yes you two crazy kids deserve each other Lol ;-P

[kublakhan27]

;P

[Androglossia]

LOL Frieda ;P

[Frieda P]

xD

[kublakhan27]

:D

[s y e]

This was very cleverly written. Very smart. I love how some words were underlined, gives it more of a 'oomph' to the poem. I loved it!

[kublakhan27]

There was indeed a lot of oomph in my head when I was writing this...I'm glad you like it, thank you Noodle :)

[s y e]

Anytime, :-)

[KeelyJane]

Another well penned work of art. :)

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Keely :)

[quinfinn]

most certainly, this is very cleverly worded. i think i'll take a pass on the blackboard regimen, as it sounds rather painful, however...there are certain aspects of this which greatly pique my interest....i.e. licking sweat....oof, i think my tongue just got hard. kinky, stinky, and tastier than a twinkie...i like it!!!!!

[kublakhan27]

Haha I suppose it's all about balance, but I will say that I didn't write this one with pain in mind...lust on the other hand? Absolutely :P But that's not to say that love doesn't factor into this...believe it or not, I always have love in the back of my mind when I write this stuff...it might be way in the back depending on my mood, but it's always there in some capacity...thank you again my friend.

[quinfinn]

it's always balance, n'est pas? you are welcome!!

[kublakhan27]

Haha It is indeed

[Frieda P]

You earned your B.A. in English lit with this one, all I can say with any clarity is it's bat shyte crazy good...other than that you're on your own, whilst slurping in the last of your quivery quarantine and the dust of chalkboards. There so many places this could take me, mostly insane, trying to figure you out, I tip my beret again to you, master of adorned sexual frustration.

[kublakhan27]

LOL Yep that would be me...Steven J. Fortune, spokesman for the sexually frustrated ;P You know I love driving you insane, don't you Miss R? In good and ecstatic ways that is haha I'm glad you like it ;)

[Frieda P]

ha, now tell me about that stomach position ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Haha use your imagination ;)

[Frieda P]

My imagination can't hold a candle to yours...!

[kublakhan27]

Haha are you sure? ;P

[Frieda P]

Not the parts you've explored. ;-P

[kublakhan27]

I've had a lot of time to dwell on things ;P

[Frieda P]

Lol I just realized that didn't come out the way I intended...hahaha, I meant I haven't released the kraken just yet. ;-P

[kublakhan27]

Haha it's alright, I knew what you meant...but it still sounded good ;)

[Frieda P]

It figures you would ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Of course ;D

[TLK]

No adnauseating hum will tamper
with the beat of our dramatic hips
smacking like exhausted blackboard brushes
in the airy aftermath of schoolyard bustle

Yes, yes, yes, oh teach me until I am a dripping pool of knowledge. Saturate me with chapters.

[kublakhan27]

This is indeed one class I would not even consider skipping lol :P

[Rhianne Ney]

I love the way it was written with your full force of imagination, keep writing, dude

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks^^

[Rhianne Ney]

You're welcomezzz

[Cerise]

Amazinggg....wonderfully written

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much^^

[Emma Lee-Riviera]

Wow. Is it okay that I almost feel the need to avert my eyes from the images in my mind? O_O;
It has a bit of a stream of consciousness feel there in the beginning. Like, despite the, er... physical attraction, the narrator is distracted by things in their surroundings.
I have to say... the last three lines seem almost platonic, as compared to the rest of the work. It gives it an interesting contrast of wild passion and sweet love. It portrays the human mind in a very realistic light, I think.
Despite the umm... sexual tension, it reads very well, and I really enjoyed it. :3 *claps* Well done, as usual.

[kublakhan27]

Haha no that's quite alright :P I was most likely going for some kind of parallel between romantic love and sexual frustration (though I do use those terms loosely), but I didn't know exactly how it was going to unfold, even as I was writing it, so maybe that's where the stream-of-consciousness feel comes from, though I did labour over this one a fair bit lol But the most important thing is that you liked it, and I'm glad you did :)

[Poison Ivy]

very interesting work!

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks :)

[Abdul Batin Osman Bey]

very nice and I liked how the underlined words brought up ads,very interactive. The last line is my fav.

[kublakhan27]

Haha I have nothing to do with the ads, I don't know where they came from :P Thank you though, I'm glad you like the poem^^