MAIDEN VOYAGE

05 05 11

Oh how the greenery
of your embedded scenery
siren-whipped
the voyage of a young tongue,
drained of the froth of ambition,
and spin-cycled through hot-decibled
Krakens of over-achievements
and poor judgements.

Dry and abrasive as an obvious pun,
I scaled your lilac estate of purple and white.
Now with your audience laid out before my dead end,
I come to you a guilty boy,
having milked the innocence of goosebump fishing
in the salt-tickled rills
of your flannel estuary.

Reviews

[Rita L. Sev]

So many wild images here -

spin-cycled through hot-decibled
Krakens of over-achievements
and poor judgements...

Ah, the indiscretions of the past... For some reason, as I read "I come to you a guilty boy..." I thought of George Michael's line "Guilty feet have got no rhythm..." As always, you give my imagination a much-needed workout, Steve!

[kublakhan27]

Haha I hadn't thought of that line my friend...so glad I could kickstart your imagination, thank you Rita :)

[Blue]

Wow. This poem blew me away, Steve. As Rita said, "so many wild images here". I look forward to reading more of your poems and explore other wild imageries.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Arzel, I look forward to keeping in touch with your writing as well :)

[s y e]

Is there a reason why the word 'young' is highlighted?

You have left me speechless, Kublakhan - Loved this one though!

[kublakhan27]

No, I'm not sure why it's highlighted...glad you loved this one Sye, thank you :)

[Raymond Federle]

An excellent piece my friend. :)

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks Raymond :)

[AYVID N]

What a voyage! The guilt notwithstanding. The salt-tickled rills and flannel estuary blew ny mind as did 'lilac estate of purple and white. I remember someone saying a little guilt was always a side accompaniment of pleasure. Thanks for giving me a chance to savor this fine piece of writing. Much appreciated.

[kublakhan27]

I agree with that actually...maybe it's the way we're brought up haha Thanks so much Divya, I'm glad this one resonated so deeply :)

[AYVID N]

The pleasure was all mine :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Oh, this has got to be my fave of yours so far! Goosebump fishing! Love it!!!!

[kublakhan27]

Very cool review KL, many thanks :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Oh, you play innocent, my sweet... there is something to be said about an enigmatic mind...

You don't play fair...you're wicked! lol

Your abrasive words are softened by subtle and sensual tenderness, such as "lilac" and "milked innocence"...

You confuzzle me!... never a dull moment reading your art...

Abstract at it's finest, Stevie!~xoxo~;)

[kublakhan27]

I will take those points as a compliment my sweet :) You know I love tickling your imagination...you'd never think this one was three years old huh? Have I changed much? Guess not...thank you for an endorsement of my wickedness Robbie :) xoxo

[Robbie~xoxo~]

You are just as brilliant then as you are now! Nothing's changed, expect your bit more naughty! (or not) LOL ;)
It's always a pleasure, my dear Stevie!~xoxo~;)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

*Except*~Typo! lol

[kublakhan27]

Haha It's only my imagination that's more naughty...then again that's still me anyway ;) Thanks hun :) xoxo

[Robbie~xoxo~]

well then, there you go! lol
You are most welcome, love..XXXX :)

[A. Amos]

I enjoyed the voyage... Good one KK

[kublakhan27]

So glad you enjoyed it A, many thanks.

[A. Amos]

Always do bro and your most welcome

[writing mojo]

Definitely stratospheric yet feminine blown under tows below, kyphotic spine tingling tones..I love the sprawled imagery and to be honest being a titanic freak since the age of 6, (I might add before she was ever discovered) when I hear the words maiden and voyage together, automatically, I get that icy dark feeling of time passing by with the essence of 1912 mounts. This piece has some what of that inner dark yet unmistakable measure now oxidizing the brewing element it once was 2 and half miles down below a surfaced joint ..excellent piece.

[kublakhan27]

So glad it was able to conjure up those images for you, thank you Mojo.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"dry and abrasive as an obvious pun"

wish i had said that...

this is a salt-tickled ride that tickles flannel in me....i am such a guilty boy for my many transgressions, even if they were just in my mind.

but i also feel "drained of the froth of ambition"

i rely on contentment with where i am, and who i am...

but poor judgments do haunt don't they?

powerful write, Steve....

still digesting...and milking it for all it is worth.

[kublakhan27]

Haha I'm sure we're all guilty of something, real or imagined...yes even then I was talking about, and familiar with, the hauntings of poor judgements...so glad you enjoyed it Jacob, thank you.