GOODFELLOW'S VERSION

05 26 11

I.
"Athens..."

If I could pan your posture
through the silken wafer threads
of your pink sarong
like the golden promise of a loded west
I would sow beneath my bitten toenails
your resplendent grains and abstain
from our games of aberration
and allow a light to trip and kindle in my cuticles
sparking a spaghetti revolution of vines
underneath my soles and over
an apparent dew of flavour
on my clamdigger legs
feeding bloom and corresponding gluttony
upon the modest height my masculinity
so urgently esteems
as the dew upon my skin is stretched
to flood from drop
in the name of a lunar forest dame
and the summer lunacy
she playfully politically parades

II.
"...and a wood near it."

I am conscious of the mysteries
atrocities ceremonies improbabilities
among the consequences in the queue
to pursue liquid matter down the necks
of living things and yet
I would forsake the dry certainties of distillation
assent to the chemical enigmas
and drink from the naked chalice of your charisma
and wonder whether my intake be water-rapid
syrup-paced or cake batter-casual
ere it circumvents schools of systems and cells
touching down in my hub of logic
for a fairytale respite and a call
to an ill-starred couple for a visit
with regards from a garden wall
too tall for romance itself
never mind my hermetic sirrah's height
and so ambrosially green to absorb and quench
that which my throat implored
to propose to my right mind

The puberty of fantasy
for the retroaction of reality

Author's Note

Slated to appear in Miracle E-zine's Spring 2013 issue...my fourth published piece :D

Loosely inspired by Shakespeare's "Midsummer Night's Dream" and Edward Robert Hughes' "Midsummer Eve" painting.

Reviews

[Rita L. Sev]

I do not know as much Shakespeare as I probably should, but I can tell you that I like your version of events better - unique and vivid images clearly inspired by "Midsummer Night's Dream", but with a modern intensity.

I am conscious of the mysteries
atrocities ceremonies improbabilities
among the consequences in the queue
to pursue liquid matter down the necks
of living things...

These lines have a great flow to them. Read aloud, there is a power behind the words - very cool. :)

[kublakhan27]

Haha well it's a play about fairies and there is a love potion involved ;P So glad you liked this one, it's a personal favourite which is saying something given how insecure I am about my writing, especially the recent stuff...thank you Rita :)

[Abdul Batin Osman Bey]

I dig this flawless meter and imagery is very very cool

[kublakhan27]

Thank you very much^^

[MOON]

Great write on Shakespeare's play , flowing and lyrical

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much^^

[EMMIE]

What else can I say that the people under me haven't already said. Just brilliant, you are a great writer!

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Emmie...that means a lot :D

[That_Guy]

the last two lines were great! I enjoyed the cryptic connections, you had some good inspiration to work with and you didnt disappoint.

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks :)

[Phillitup]

Complex and well-written.

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks^^

[Poison Ivy]

very creative structure i like it

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks^^

[Castonovia]

Midsummer Night's Dream is my fav play... this is fluid with such vivid, dazzling imagery and cryptic details, well penned indeed ;)

[kublakhan27]

It's a favourite of mine as well, certainly my favourite comedy haha I'm glad to hear from someone familiar with the play cuz it lets me know how successful I was (if at all) in capturing the spirit. So I'm very glad this spoke to you on such a deep level :)

[B-poet]

Very deep, witty and complex. You know how to display the speech within the inner boundaries of your creativity. Great poem :)

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much :)

[ewest1220]

Interesting work and well done!

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks :)

[SmileBig :)]

I enjoyed this, very good flow :) splendid job!

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much, I'm glad you enjoyed it :D