GOODFELLOW'S VERSION

05 26 11

I.
"Athens..."

If I could pan your posture
through the silken wafer threads
of your pink sarong
like the golden promise of a loded west
I would sow beneath my bitten toenails
your resplendent grains and abstain
from our games of aberration
and allow a light to trip and kindle in my cuticles
sparking a spaghetti revolution of vines
underneath my soles and over
an apparent dew of flavour
on my clamdigger legs
feeding bloom and corresponding gluttony
upon the modest height my masculinity
so urgently esteems
as the dew upon my skin is stretched
to flood from drop
in the name of a lunar forest dame
and the summer lunacy
she playfully politically parades

II.
"...and a wood near it."

I am conscious of the mysteries
atrocities ceremonies improbabilities
among the consequences in the queue
to pursue liquid matter down the necks
of living things and yet
I would forsake the dry certainties of distillation
assent to the chemical enigmas
and drink from the naked chalice of your charisma
and wonder whether my intake be water-rapid
syrup-paced or cake batter-casual
ere it circumvents schools of systems and cells
touching down in my hub of logic
for a fairytale respite and a call
to an ill-starred couple for a visit
with regards from a garden wall
too tall for romance itself
never mind my hermetic sirrah's height
and so ambrosially green to absorb and quench
that which my throat implored
to propose to my right mind

The puberty of fantasy
for the retroaction of reality

Author's Note

Slated to appear in Miracle E-zine's Spring 2013 issue...my fourth published piece :D

Loosely inspired by Shakespeare's "Midsummer Night's Dream" and Edward Robert Hughes' "Midsummer Eve" painting.

Reviews

[Rita L. Sev]

I do not know as much Shakespeare as I probably should, but I can tell you that I like your version of events better - unique and vivid images clearly inspired by "Midsummer Night's Dream", but with a modern intensity.

I am conscious of the mysteries
atrocities ceremonies improbabilities
among the consequences in the queue
to pursue liquid matter down the necks
of living things...

These lines have a great flow to them. Read aloud, there is a power behind the words - very cool. :)

[kublakhan27]

Haha well it's a play about fairies and there is a love potion involved ;P So glad you liked this one, it's a personal favourite which is saying something given how insecure I am about my writing, especially the recent stuff...thank you Rita :)

[redflutterby]

Woohooo...you're third published piece!! That's great Steve and the poem is fantastic!!

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Red, that means a lot :D

[Robbie~xoxo~]

CONGRATS, Steve!!!!


Woo hoo!... you're always a writer of intrigue and genuine poetry...
I believe your talent is meant for reading beyond WC... I doubt one can contain such visceral poetry!... and as Epic as yours it must be viewed in more places than one..

Well penned, Romantic/intense fantasy indeed!~xoxo~:)

[kublakhan27]

You humble me with your kind words my dear :) They certainly don't all come out like this though haha This was a long-term project that I thought would never get done...I'd like to rekindle some of that patience I had when I wrote this...my patience has eroded in the time since, and I think I write my best stuff when I'm patient haha ;P

So glad you liked this one hun...thank you for the support as always :) xoxo

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I know what you mean! I'm pretty impatient with my work as well...
but, "patience is a virtue"...and it shows here! Lovely write, my sweet!~xoxo~:)

[kublakhan27]

Well impatience isn't a bad thing either, it all depends on the writer :) You write with a lot of urgency so spur-of-the-moment works for you...I'm definitely a reflective writer, though my recent stuff has been pushed a little quicker than usual with me, and even though they've been well-received they don't feel as solid to me...the good thing is that the next two seasons are usually my most creative of the year so I may get back to that approach soon ;) Thanks again love, glad you liked this one :) xoxo

[Robbie~xoxo~]

That's a good thing!... I do look forward to the fall... I can't wait to see what you come up with next.~xoxo~:)

[kublakhan27]

Haha I'm curious to know how it's gonna go myself ;) xoxo

[Robbie~xoxo~]

No worries, it'll be great!~xoxo~ (((hugs))) :))

[kublakhan27]

I'll keep my fingers crossed ;) (((hugs))) :)

[Angi]

Congrats on the publishing, Steve! I can see why they wanted this piece. This one has a flow and internal rhyme that makes this a wonder to read. The phrases just effortlessly roll into each other. The images this provokes in my minds eye are fantastical, (blooming vining weaving, drops of lunar kissed dew, a wood filled with magical, sparking things, syrup paced and cake batter casual...) I could go on and on. The small sprites and fairies are sprinkled throughout, twinkling eyes watching the unfolding or awakening of this piece. It is simply so damn good. I love it! Angi~

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Angi :) I wrote this piece in the spring and I'm not sure I ever got back to the caliber of this one...mind you, the next two seasons have always been my most creatively prolific seasons so hopefully I'll find this voice again soon ;) Thank you again for the kind words my friend...xo

[Angi]

My pleasure! The fall always holds big sparks to light my writing on fire. I hope it is so this year, too. For both of us.

[kublakhan27]

Summer heat and creativity are like oil and water to me haha I will hope for the best for both of us as well ;)

[Jack...]

Wow, off the deep end here one would imagine, so many colors and rainbow silhouettes dancing about this garden. Loved Cake-batter casual. Soft, smooth and slow...you my friend, take us out there.

Congrats on published piece #4.

[kublakhan27]

Haha I'm always glad when I can do that my friend...I'm already off the deep end so I may as well take a few people with me ;) Thank you so much.

[Melobldnfr]

My friend, congratulations. An extraordinary piece, accompanied by one of my favorite artworks, penned by one of my favorites at the café.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Mel, I'm glad you enjoyed it...it's a bonus when I hit on a piece of art that a reader is familiar with haha As always you humble me with your kind words :)

[Pryde Foltz]

I would forsake the dry certainties of distillation
assent to the chemical enigmas
and drink from the naked chalice of your charisma
and wonder whether my intake be water-rapid
syrup-paced or cake batter-casual

Congrats on publication. Great piece. This segment was pretty awesome. You never now what is real and how easy the reality will go down.

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks Pryde, so glad you enjoyed it...this one didn't come overnight haha

[Kleio13]

Damn..... do you have a girlfriend? If not, then i feel for you Kub. This is an intimate piece that belongs in an erotica newsletter. I love how you make it simultaneously sensual but innocent . Great work, once again. :)

[kublakhan27]

What does your gut tell you haha ;P This is just one of those special pieces, a label I do not allot to a great deal of my work, but this one was a long-term project and I'm just glad it came out as it did and has been so well-received...thank you Kleio, as always, for the support :)

[Jess]

BRAVO!!!!

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Khicks :D

[Frieda P]

It is normal to stop breathing whilst reading poetry!? You've done that to me, I need to catch my breath to be able to inhale the liquidity of this awe inspiring piece.
You're right up there with Mr. Cohen my friend, so you know how I feel about that, you both share the title 'great poets' in my mind...

upon the modest height my masculinity
so urgently esteems
as the dew upon my skin is stretched
to flood from drop
in the name of a lunar forest dame
and the summer lunacy
she playfully politically parades

Holy smokeballs! Let me feast on your mind for just a short while and bask in the sun of k! Bravo...kudos and all that JAZZ, you deserve it!

[kublakhan27]

*blush* You humble me with your praise Frieda :) This is a special piece for me, I won't deny that, but it came to me in a "peak" period and I haven't written a whole lot of late that stack up to this one in terms of significance...but maybe your encouragement and the news I got regarding this one will bring me back to that place ;D

[Frieda P]

I don't think you've ever strayed far from that place k, maybe in your mind, we under value our own creativity most times, we're our own worst critics. I think because we know what's in our gut, yet words never suffice to sufficiently blow them away.

[kublakhan27]

Very true...words and feelings do not always mix, but I guess that's why we keep writing...writing is about self-expression but stubbornness is probably a factor as well :P