SHAVING DAY

06 21 11

The ears of the fool put airs
on the matter-of-fact intimation
of a parent vacation celebration
dolling it up to a citizenship
induction invitation

He went feeling equal absorbed embraced
He prepped by feeling himself
for the practice he knew he'd require
as stated by medium angels
timely appearing to bless his albino chest
and shed its sad hairs
sporadic and curly
and spray it with happening blades
of aromatic guarantees

He went with gold in his jaws
and returned with blood on his arms
He walked in Augustus
and walked out a Caesar
bloody as day twenty-something
and bitter as an impotent sailor
The fool went straight with a cleric's hope
and returned to repent until he bled soap

Reviews

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

I am the looming raven, the harbinger of doom... you, you tasty morsel will not escape my cruel talons nor my vicious beak! Crawl, as quickly as you may, across this bleak concrete profile of ragged mental spew. The stench of your flaccid shriveled corpse awaits you where my pointed barbs intersect this interlude of your being. Hmmm, (chew, slobber, chew...) tastes like... chicken? :)

[kublakhan27]

LOL I don't think I have a counter for that except "You know, that IS basically how I felt when I wrote it" :P There is a lot of chicken in this piece, I can say that much...

[Sweets]

Unique one-of-a-kind poem, loved it :)

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much :)

[Sweets]

anytime :)

[John Phoenix Hutchinson..]

Good poem enjoyed greatly! Ending was unique.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much^^

[Emma Lee-Riviera]

Wow... dark. O_O *blinks in the intensity of blackness* That was uber-intense, my friend. Beautifully lyrical, though, I give you props for that. :)

[kublakhan27]

Haha thank you...not many have noticed the dark element in it, at least not as the primary theme...glad you like it :)

[Destinyxi]

When I read the title, I think of 'Saving Day' instead. See? I'm finally getting to my RRs haha. Great poem, can't say that I understand it much BUT you put words together to make them sound all elegant :P

[kublakhan27]

Haha thanks Kels...as long as it sounds good, that's the main thing to me :P

[Brandon Mathis]

the 2nd stanza is my favorite great poem overall though

[kublakhan27]

Thanks, I'm glad you like it^^

[The Random Writings Of ..]

YOU CRACK ME UP!!!! Once again I look at this piece and start to read, and I am like WHAT????
OK so this is off the rocks :) I am not even sure what to say to this, It is great - and the use of words are one of a kind. The analogy's you use cannot be compared to anything I have ever read on here.
"The fool went straight with a cleric's hope
and returned to repent until he bled soap"
That has to be my favorite!
I see this one too as having a beat that is more playful - but rough, and the words you use also suggest darkness :) -
"bloody as day twenty-something
and bitter as an impotent sailor"
Where do you come up with this stuff?!?! Absolutely fantastic! You never cease to amaze me my friend!!!

[kublakhan27]

Haha thank you Kate...again I'm glad I wrote something that was able to resonate with you so deeply :) The two parts parts you've mentioned were actually two different things I had scribbled in my book but could never devise any ideas to build around them, until I came up with this concept, which is actually semi-autobiographical so I'm surprised it took me so long to come up with it lol :P As with the previous few pieces, there is a dark undertone to this, but as you have noticed, the tone of this piece is so tongue-in-cheek that it may be impossible to decipher anything else lol But the combination of the two separate parts to form the predominate context is likely why this one is so different from anything else you've read. So I'm very glad I was able to pique your imagination with something "outside" my usual voice...hope I can continue to surprise you in the future :D

[The Random Writings Of Me..Kates]

I don't EVER think your surprises will end! You write well, and each piece I open is like opening a Christmas present on Christmas morning!

[kublakhan27]

Thank you...that means a lot, really :)

[Muse]

no not cliche...not at all. What a great poem. Very original...fun...and historically waxed with humor and perception.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much.

[Abdul Batin Osman Bey]

Cool, it's an interesting take on shaving, I like how you compared Augustus and Caesar that's truly unique in this setting.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks, I'm glad you like it^^

[MOON]

Lovely write love the title and the images you create. He went with gold in his jaws and returned with blood on his arms....

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much :)