MY TURN TO SIT

04 17 12

I.

Tomorrow ticks
in purgatorial percussion
like water torture
on my tectonic forehead

The mountain seizures of my brows
identify the tips of perspiration
My chin could sleep at least

But my eyes must remain
doomed as deserts
in a moonless world
(where they used to bury gangsters
my father's movies say)

II.

My own heart an airlock
my autopilot presence
serves to wedge into
the unrelated beds of
my unconscious parents

The vigil kept honest
by my mother's onion-skin slumber
and its sudden snore jolts
smoke-ringing in the remnants
of the conventional silence
and ripped to fruitless strands
above the bed of sleeping hiccups
where my father's gangsters hold serve

Author's Note

This was gonna wait till tomorrow (Feb. 1) but today I'm weighed down by a number of issues, internal and external, and as a result I must lay this on you for a day longer than intended.

I don't talk about Dad a whole lot but tomorrow is his birthday, and the first one he's not here for...I slipped this one under the radar when I first joined the site and did not showcase or explain it in any way until today. Even though this didn't get finished till nearly a month after the fact, I started it while sitting at the edge of what would be his deathbed hours later...beyond that, I leave the poem itself to the reader to decide on the meaning. I will be sending very few RRs for this if any.

Those were his two favourite songs...needless to say, both have taken on more significance in recent months...I may have something else written before this weekend is out.

P.S. Don't worry, I'm fine :)

Reviews

[Renée]

I don't usually take in photos or music added to poems. But I did this time.. for I understand this is your expression of grief and love for your father.. I just noticed the date..if I am reading right it is two years to the day…I guess it was meant to be, that I pause here. Keeping vigil… your father's favorite things gangster movies, music.. your "heart in an airlock" , on autopilot .. hard part of life..but I am sure he still watches over you from above.. Thank you for sharing your heart .. and perhaps this visit will bring a smile to your face ( :

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Renee, you have indeed brought a smile to my face :) I cannot tell you how much your review means to me :)

[Renée]

I feel honored to have read a piece of your heart, Kublakhan ( :

[quinfinn]

know this....my dad passed in august of 06 and i still feel his presence from time to time. this is a stunning write and is engrossing and diverse. i loved it in its entirety.

[kublakhan27]

I know how you feel...I've never felt a sense of total loss because he's never felt that far away...I'm so glad you were able to relate to this piece...thanks very much :)

[KAOlmsted]

That makes me appreciate the RR so much more. Thank you so very much for including me. I am truly grateful. This piece is nothing short of brilliant, and I thought so even before I read the Author's Note. Having read it, I went back and read the piece again...because it is exactly that good. Real honest to God poetry comes from those places within ourselves that hurt like hell when we root around inside of them, but feel so damn good when extracted...Setting aside that is my all time favorite Dire Straits song ever ;-) and how HUGE a Queen fan I am ;-) this is, without question, my favorite place to be today. Thank you so much for sharing this. I truly appreciate it.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Kimmer, I don't know if I have the words to express my gratitude for the compliments you've left here...it's true that you were only one of a handful of people I sent this to, and it means a lot to hear from you on this piece...it definitely came from deep within, and that is probably my favourite DS tune as well...I can't pick a Queen one, they're one of my top three or four favourite bands, as was the case with him...again thank you for this review...it's the first thing I've read today and it brought a smile to my face :)

[KAOlmsted]

Always my pleasure...xoxo

[kublakhan27]

xoxo :)

[Frieda P]

Your tectonic forehead does well my friend. I was engrossed by this from the start, the references to your father's movies where they used to bury gangsters is worth the read in and of itself. Then I read a tribute and the poem intensified right before my eyes. It's nothing short of excellence, thanks for sharing this one with me. I know your dad is probably smirking out of the side of his mouth and head if he can see this. Kudos my friend!

[kublakhan27]

Oh no doubt, and shaking his head at me for dwelling on it so much...he didn't want anyone dwelling on it...good try Dad haha But it means a lot to have this poem resonate with you as much as it does...I know you know where I'm coming from...thank you Frieda :)

[Frieda P]

You know the pleasure is all mine, and make sure you take the time to breathe tomorrow. xo

[kublakhan27]

I will do my best :) xo

[Frieda P]

'Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.' :-)

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Frieda, those words go a long way :)

[Frieda P]

I hope so k. ;-)

[kublakhan27]

They do, I promise ;)

[Frieda P]

lub you ;-)

[kublakhan27]

And I lub you as well :)

[Frieda P]

Awh I feel like we're going steady now ;-P

[kublakhan27]

LOL ;P

[Frieda P]

You're in my thoughts today, love the Queen song by the way. xo

[kublakhan27]

Oh, I seem to have missed this...maybe you mentioned this after the little proclamation I left on my profile yesterday...but I feel better knowing you had me in your thoughts...that means a lot more than you might realize :) I love those songs too, the one here and the one on my profile page, not to mention the videos which are the best I've ever seen ;P

[Frieda P]

The oldies are always the best! Will check out your profile page too. ;-P

[kublakhan27]

Yes the songs I included here always had meaning but now they mean everything...if there's one example of Dad that I can offer to encapsulate everything one needs to know about him, it's these two songs...I often hear talk of people "just knowing" that their living time will be briefer than it should be, and I think he was one of those people...I also felt the need to put a little humour into my profile ;)

[Frieda P]

I'm pretty sure if he can see any of this, he's got a huge shitass grin on his face!

[kublakhan27]

LOL No doubt about it ;P

[Frieda P]

You done good....

[kublakhan27]

:)

[Frieda P]

:-D