MY TURN TO SIT

04 17 12

I.

Tomorrow ticks
in purgatorial percussion
like water torture
on my tectonic forehead

The mountain seizures of my brows
identify the tips of perspiration
My chin could sleep at least

But my eyes must remain
doomed as deserts
in a moonless world
(where they used to bury gangsters
my father's movies say)

II.

My own heart an airlock
my autopilot presence
serves to wedge into
the unrelated beds of
my unconscious parents

The vigil kept honest
by my mother's onion-skin slumber
and its sudden snore jolts
smoke-ringing in the remnants
of the conventional silence
and ripped to fruitless strands
above the bed of sleeping hiccups
where my father's gangsters hold serve

Author's Note

This was gonna wait till tomorrow (Feb. 1) but today I'm weighed down by a number of issues, internal and external, and as a result I must lay this on you for a day longer than intended.

I don't talk about Dad a whole lot but tomorrow is his birthday, and the first one he's not here for...I slipped this one under the radar when I first joined the site and did not showcase or explain it in any way until today. Even though this didn't get finished till nearly a month after the fact, I started it while sitting at the edge of what would be his deathbed hours later...beyond that, I leave the poem itself to the reader to decide on the meaning. I will be sending very few RRs for this if any.

Those were his two favourite songs...needless to say, both have taken on more significance in recent months...I may have something else written before this weekend is out.

P.S. Don't worry, I'm fine :)

Reviews

[Renée]

I don't usually take in photos or music added to poems. But I did this time.. for I understand this is your expression of grief and love for your father.. I just noticed the date..if I am reading right it is two years to the day…I guess it was meant to be, that I pause here. Keeping vigil… your father's favorite things gangster movies, music.. your "heart in an airlock" , on autopilot .. hard part of life..but I am sure he still watches over you from above.. Thank you for sharing your heart .. and perhaps this visit will bring a smile to your face ( :

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Renee, you have indeed brought a smile to my face :) I cannot tell you how much your review means to me :)

[Renée]

I feel honored to have read a piece of your heart, Kublakhan ( :

[jacob erin-cilberto]

my dad's birthday is next monday....he will be 94...still hanging in there, but i know any day...and i will be writing similar poems like this...

i like the repetition of "that's what my father's movies say"---

[kublakhan27]

I understand wholeheartedly my friend...and yet to be around for almost a century is an incredible accomplishment, and something to be proud of...I think it says a lot about one's character to survive for such a long time...I'm glad you like this one, being such a personal statement...that means a great deal.

[kublakhan27]

Chilling write my friend, for I can see here, the little wink you where talking about... ;) goosebumps, all over. Not only from out of your words, here, but also that onther thing... Geez! we have so much in common! ha! and they both smile at us... for sure.

Loved this my friend, thank you so much!
- Eli xoxo

[kublakhan27]

Incredible isn't it? ;) Even though it's one of my most somber works, I had a smile on my face sending it to you...it blows my mind to know that such a big part of both of our lives would revolve around one song like that...I'm sure they're both smiling...So glad you liked this one my friend :D

It is incredible for we are connected to this one so badly, I smile too, I celebrate him...for I know he's with me, and also I know he is with you my friend. This one, I treasure forever in my wooden japara box, close to my heart, for it's a thingy a connection kind of fate M. and I are working on ;-) This was so wonderful, I'm still listening, and can't breathe... :D (positive)

[kublakhan27]

I know your presence in his life was a treasure...and there is a time when you will share those treasures with each other again...I've listened to many performances of that song over the years and that has always been the one most gripping to me...I hope that's how you're feeling as you hear it :)

Both Big Dire Straits fans for sure yep.... sniff... with a smile :) I know, He awaits me, as he for you does too my dear. I do, I do, for I have that album on Vinyl aaah! good memories :D

[kublakhan27]

I'm glad that we can all smile about it now :) As irony would have it, I have every album on vinyl except this one...I do have the disc but I will inevitably get the record when I see it ;D

Oh, when I find it, I buy a second one, and send it to you! promise!!! on air-post with hurry!!!! ♥ It saddens me though all record stores are closing around here, for too much people are downloading :( the good old times forever done in a while... I'm smiling and listening still, for now you got me back to many memories xxx

[kublakhan27]

That would be most kind of you, dear friend :) The closest record shop to me is six hours away...sadly they are few and far between here as well...I usually make a trip down every summer though for a shopping spree and I will be doing that in August :D Hearing this song will always make me think of two things now, him and you :) xoxo

Aw, that's so sweet of you! :) for it will be with me too from now on You and Him in my thoughts... this was a very special conversation for I adore and cherish those... thank you my friend for being as you are and so unique! :) xoxo, you don't know me lol, I will find it.... ;) Even In Belgium or Germany ;)

[kublakhan27]

You make me smile for so many reasons :) I plan to keep a copy of this conversation so I won't lose it, ever ;) That's how enlightening this conversation was tonight...thank you Eli, for being you just the same...you're certainly one of the most fascinating people I know, on top of being a great friend :) I will be very impressed if you do find it ;)

Me too dearest, for I thank you for being my friend. :) for you are truly special, and have a great heart and soul! :) I will do my best for you, I will carry this forever with me! ;) wherever I go :) xxx

P.s I know Lenny says hi to you! xo

[kublakhan27]

And I offer my warmest hello in return :) xo

I'm smiling.... for you would be his perfect bud! ;-) xoxo

[kublakhan27]

I have no doubt about it ;) xoxo

For you are almost from the same year ;-) xoxo lol

[kublakhan27]

I am not surprised my friend...there are no surprises anymore ;) xoxo

I agree.... a golden handshake for the red thread of fate. xoxo ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Beautifully said my friend ;) xoxo

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I have become immersed in this...there is a candle lit, within the "moonless world" in which you have depicted in such a somber way...so unique and emotive that it tore my heart. Every line did peel a layer of thought, revealing a delicate soul. Astounding heartfelt write, my friend.~xo~

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Robbie, so much :) One of the reasons I didn't mention this one earlier is because I simply didn't want to bring people down...but there were a handful of people I just had to share this with...I've said it before but your support means a lot, more than you know...again, thank you :) xox

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Expressing your thoughts mean so much...please always continue to do so. Sharing your heart is what keeps us connected, whether it's painful or light and refreshing, it is a treasure from your heart.~xo~

[kublakhan27]

:) I will always be willing to share my thoughts, I'd go insane if I didn't haha And of course, your support goes a long way in keeping me sane too ;) Thank you Robbie, all the best :) xoxo

[Priscilla Sayers]

"I'm Fine".....
Well, Love, we know that is a classic phrase.
So I will only say this.
Our connection is clear, our minds are linked on a level of spiritual similarities both in the concepts of the psyche and in circumstance.
You are brilliant, you have depth that is refreshing, you are understanding where others are lost, and most importantly your words go beyond mere art into the place where the soul resides.
Sending you my Love and Light....
Plus A Big SQUUEEEEEEEEEZE!
XXXXXXX
Love you Buddy!

[kublakhan27]

*blush* You humble me with your compliments my dear...I don't even know how to put my thanks into words but I will let you in on a little secret that should suffice...I was hoping for a review from you...for whatever reason, I just knew you would be one of the people (with three or four others, Robbie being one as well haha) who knew where I was coming from...you couldn't be more right about the connection...we just seem to "read" each other flawlessly...unfortunately I have not had that depth in recent weeks but I just need one image or a picture to pique my imagination...I hope it comes soon :P

Anyways I don't intend to make this note all about me...it cheers me up immensely to see that you're still positive amid problems that are undoubtedly more significant than mine...this outlook along with the support you've mentioned here go a long way to making me feel better...thank you Priscilla...love and hugs and a big squeeeeeeeeze to you in return :)

[ms. barrie]

I am amazed at your unique choice of words you've used in this poem, and how you used them. This is a very powerfully, profound, poignant , heart-felt tribute to your father. Brilliantly well crafted poem, with such original imagery painting a landscape memories captured in landscapes:

tomorrow ticks
in purgatorial percussion
like water torture
on my tectonic forehead

The mountain seizures of my brows
identify the tips of perspiration
My chin could sleep at least

But my eyes must remain
doomed as deserts
in a moonless world
(where they used to bury gangsters
my father's movies say) ---

this is nothing short of being brilliant...incredible writing, K. -- *favorites* - thanks for sharing! 100 to 100...and cupcakes...pen on! :)

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Barrie, immensely...I've been having a real bad day for a plethora of reasons and this goes a long way to making me feel better :)

[ms. barrie]

You are verily welcome, K. I am truly sorry you've been having a crappy day :*( -- I hope tomorrow's *i know it will be* - will be a better one for you, and that circumstances turn around, soon. Dealing with the "joys" of reality myself, just trying to escape them through this story. Have a wonderful night, K.! ...and the pleasure was all mine to read :))

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Barrie as always for all the kind words :) I feel a little better today but my problems have certainly not disappeared...in fact I have a headache today which I didn't have yesterday x_x But yes, thank goodness for writing...even though I haven't done anything in several days now, I know the option will always be there...I just need one image or one thought and I'll be off and running...that's usually how it goes haha But I also wish you the best in overcoming your issues and I'm glad the story gives you something positive to cling to...I'm sure good days will return to you just as I hope they will return to me :)

[ms. barrie]

Yes they will, K.! I'm so sorry about your headache (hisses at it for you.) I agree, happened to me while watching that movie and the ID channel. Then something clicked and my imagination started stirring. I am the same way...one image, music, etc. I'm just glad i finally broke through my writers block, even though i'm not writing poetry, a story. Keep your chin UP, my friend, as i try to do as well, for things can only go up!! Wishing you the best...always - xoxo

[Pax]

*a pat in the back* and *a friendly hug from your friendly neighbor*
this is a heartfelt write in fancy imagery... the memory of your parent will always be in your heart my friend... you have a good soul, I'm sure this tribute is already heard from above. well done!

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks my friend, those words mean a lot :)

[Androglossia]

Memories of a father, regardless of its kind, is like a mental scrapbook, a preservation of times with the man whose absence in our lives can often leave a wound, sometimes difficult to recognize and to understand. But with these memories are the hopes for a path that leads to transformation and a healing of our wounds. This poem is bittersweet and I know how this means to you. Thank you for sharing more than this poem could ever tell. What you have shared with me was kept and treasured.

[kublakhan27]

I have few words if any that can do justice to the magnitude of my thanks for these sentiments...it does mean a lot to me and it is certainly bittersweet, no doubt about that, but how could I not be inspired by your support and your comfort...I wish I had more words to respond to them, but I can only say that they mean the world to me and they made me a smile on a day when I wasn't sure I would do much smiling...my mind has been put at ease...thank you Maryanne :)

[Androglossia]

Smiling is more than anough:) Action speaks louder, no?

[kublakhan27]

When in the company of friends, yes they do :)

[KeeD]

Love you brother, Very well written and a fitting tribute for a great man I didn't have the pleasure of knowing but I know him a little better now thanks to his amazing son. Favorited.

[kublakhan27]

And I love you too my friend for your constant support and humbling compliments...I'm so glad this piece meant something to you and I have no other words to express the full extent of my gratitude except thank you, but it's a monumental thank you :)