Rough beginnings

I took another swig from the bottle in my hand, letting go of the troubling thoughts surrounding me. I grabbed a joint out of someone’s hand and took a drag on it, before lying down on the mattress I was on. I felt the mould on the wall behind me soft against my head; stretching out my hand, I explored the ground around me, the rough floorboards and the soft fluff pouring out of the mattress. The loud buzz of a fly distracted me; I turned to watch it try and break through the window, bashing its head against the glass again and again.

“Hey, pass the joint love.” A grainy voice said. I snapped my head around to look at the voice’s owner, the man had clearly been here much longer than I had, a few weeks maybe. I took another drag on the joint, whilst still holding his gaze, before I passed it to him. Then I turned back to watch the fly buzzing against the window again.

There we all sat, in silence, many of us contemplating what lead us here; others were clearly too busy looking at the hallucinations whirling around them to think about these things. Then we heard the sirens. We all knew who it was. But none of us moved. Most of us just continued to lie in our filth, on the mattresses which had been there since this place had been abandoned.

“Shouldn’t we move?” One of the newer people questioned, whilst glancing around panicky. No one answered. There was no point.  Many of us had already accepted our fate; others just didn’t care, or were too ill to. I saw Frank (one of the few people I’d conversed with in here. He’d lost everything, we seemed to be able to relate over our harsh lives), he looked up at me with pity; he knew who it was that had called the police. I was Paul’s income, ‘Looking after’ me ensured that his bank account would never be empty, courtesy of my grandparents. He probably just got sick of having to bother looking for me himself.

“This is ridiculous, I’m getting out of here” The new comer muttered, before jumping up and running to the door. A few of the dealers hanging around had gathered up most of the drugs and quickly ran out the fire exit. The few of us that were still reasonably conscious just sat there in silence, avoiding eye contact, listening to the footsteps of the heavily booted police running up the stairs.

The police burst through the door, well some of them did, a few knew that we wouldn’t resist so didn’t bother and walked somewhat calmly into the room. I could still hear a few stomps as more of them ran upstairs to check out that area. The police in the same room as us slowly made their way around comparing every person’s face to a picture they all had, I sighed and turned back to the window again, the fly had gone. I remained sitting until one came up to me. I could feel his hot breath as he knelt down beside me “Hey, I think I found her.” He yelled, making me wince.

The policeman stood up again and said something I couldn’t quite hear into the black bug on his shoulder. Then someone else came bounding up the stairs. Paul. He saw me immediately, marched over and pulled me up onto my feet, causing me to drop the bottle I’d been holding, the liquid inside splashed out onto the floor. I watched the alcohol slowly flow making its way to us, closer and closer. I didn’t look up, refusing to face my executioners.

“Thank you for doing this, she is very dear to me. Lead astray by these druggies. Will you push charges?” Paul lied to the policeman, his gorilla hands suffocating one of my shoulders.

“As far as finding your daughter goes, well that’s what we’re here for. And no we won’t push charges, it sounds as though your daughter was just a victim of this. Just be sure not to do this again young lady” The police officer taunted me, almost leaning down to reach me eye level as I stood slumped over. He had clearly been told I was much younger than I actually was, the way he talked to me as though I were only a 10 year old gave it away. He also must have been told I’d been kidnapped, I mean what sort of ‘victim’ willingly walks into a drug den and takes enough to be scarcely conscious for several days.

“Thank you. Now come on darling let’s get moving” Paul said as he grabbed both of my shoulders and frog marched me out of the room, out of the building and into the back of his car with that smell I knew all too well.

“Why do you keep doing this to me? If you do this again, you’ll be out of the house. I just don’t understand how you’re so stupid and irresponsible, it’s almost like you want to die.” Paul nagged as the car was brought to life and we began to trundle along.

He continued talk at me for a while, but I wasn’t listening, I looked out of the dirty window at all the people being taken outside, ready to be identified, now the police had no excuse not to charge them with trespassing and doing illegal substances, though many of them had joined us for a drink or a joint at least once.

“Are you even listening to me?!”Paul yelled suddenly.

“Sure I ‘am. I’m irresponsible, stupid; I shouldn’t do this again, etc, etc.” I mocked before spinning around to face him. “So what have you been doing for the past week then, oh responsible one, looking for me? By the smell in this car I’d guess otherwise. If you were a real father you’d care enough to find me instead of f*****g all these women. How much did this one ask for, I highly doubt she’d do it for free.” I spat before something on the floor caught my eye, a used condom, which had clearly just been chucked away, he missed the window this time. I grinned sickly, shaking my head and meeting his glare in the mirror.

The car suddenly jolted to a stop, Paul span around and slapped me. “You need to learn some manners.” He spat. I was about to come back with something he needed to learn, but he interrupted me. “Don’t even think about replying. You have driven me to the edge yet again, young lady. And I will take no more of it!” He yelled before spinning around to look at the road once more and stamping down on the pedal. As the car span into action again I thought about saying something, perhaps even apologising, but I figured it was probably best to keep my mouth shut at this moment, so instead I concentrated on clearing the back of his car, by opening the window and throwing the mouldy Chinese takeaways and pizzas at shocked people on the street.

After a while the car jolted to a stop and the door beside me was flung open. I meandered out, before being grabbed and pulled by the arm towards the Georgian house looming above me, the door of the car was slammed shut and the house got ever closer as Paul marched me to the front door. “I hope you learn a lesson from this, though of course knowing your school record, I doubt you’ll ever learn anything” Paul mocked, fumbling with the keys. The gate behind us was so close, but too far for me to get away. Paul, having successfully opened the door, grabbed my arm again. I heard the door slam shut behind us again and the key turn in the padlock on the chain across the door Paul used to keep me inside. The door of the basement looked even more threatening than it had last time. The bad feeling in my stomach got steadily worse the closer I got to the door, but, with Paul pushing me, there was no way for me to get away, it would just make it worse.

The silence screams of the dead blasted out of the door when Paul flung it open. “Sober up, you’ve got school tomorrow remember.” Paul was grinning I could feel it. I spun round, meeting his stare, begging to be forgiven, but he just pushed me in and slammed the door shut. I heard the lock turn and knew that was it for the night, no escape from the Soulleeches who would prey on me in the dark.

I felt my way down the stairs and found my blanket in the darkness; I huddled up against the wall and stared into the red eyes of the creature opposite me. “Is anyone else here?” I asked nervously.

“No, sorry darling, it’s just me” Mother replied, I let out a quiet sigh of relief.

“Mother, why does father hate me so much? I mean he does know I didn’t mean to kill her, doesn’t he? I didn’t mean to mess up everything.” I murmured looking at the floor.

“It wasn’t your fault, he knows that. Your mum was a great person, he just misses her.” Mother said reassuringly.

“Hah! Tell that to all the women who’ve been in his car” I spat, looking at mother to see her reaction.

“She was his rock, the thing that kept him in balance; he just misses her, he’s trying to compensate, besides he’s only human. Of course, it doesn’t help that, whilst every day you look more and more like her, you’re happily messing up your life!” Mother exclaimed, waving her claws around in the air, leaving small trails of dark smoke.

“I can’t help it” I sighed “I only do it because of them. The alcohol keeps them out of my head.” I murmured looking down at the floor again, my head suddenly weighed down by the images of the Soulleeches resurfacing in my head.

“I don’t think we’re that bad” Mother slumped against the wall slowly sliding down to the ground.

“You’re not, but some of them are” I said quickly, looking up from the floor in a poor attempt to take back what I had just said. 

“Are they really such a drain on you? I guess it’s my fault if they are.” Mother apologised, her kindness made me angry somehow, it wasn’t her fault, nothing ever could be. It was Paul’s fault, or mine, not hers.

“Maybe you should have left me to die with ‘mum’” I tactlessly blurted out, surprising myself a little.

“Don’t Say that!” she yelled. Dark smoke blasted out from her body; her eyes glowed an even brighter red in her frustration.

“It’s the truth!” I yelled back.

“There’s a bigger reason to why you can see us than that, I know it.” She said raising one of her claws to her face in a thinking motion.

“You believe it.” I corrected “If you knew it you’d know the reason.“ My heart was still pounding in my chest as I said it.

“Just get some sleep darling, you look as though you need it. Everything will be better in the morning, I promise.” Mother told me again, as she had last night and the night before, it was almost like a song, just for us.

“You say that every night, it never is any better” I said, drifting off slightly.

“It will be this time” she assured me.

“Uh huh. Night, night mother” I murmured, just before my eyes closed.

“Night, night sweetie” was the last thing I heard that night.