Among the Breeze

this poem erupted out of me like a volcano, and it made me pretty depressed having to know that i wrote this, because i have never suffered from these problems, but i have been introduced to many peices f litterature that adress subjects like this, so i c

Among the breeze

 

On a bleak winter morning

Soft little words

Flew out of his mouth

Like a bird from a cage

Into the cloudy day

 

Swaying amid the wind.

Past the cracked steps of his dirty house

And the shrill voice of his mother

And into the trees

Where the wrinkled leaves picked up his tune

And left their homes as well

To follow the breeze.

And his soft little words

To a better place

 

So he started to run

His feet tapping to a solid tune

On the cold concrete ground

That smothered the flowers

So they couldn’t bloom.

And he kept on running

To keep up with his dreams

Flying away in the wind

So that they wouldn’t leave

Like daddy did.

And to go to the better place

Where there were no bleak skies

Or cold concrete

Only bright sunny meadows

With flowers and songs

And animals that wouldn’t bite or claw

Like the neighbors dog did

And like mommy did

When she called him naughty.

a place where there was no church

With the mean priest

Who grabbed his arm tight

And called him devil child

When he tried to run

 

He looked up at the sky

With its dark clouds

Cause it was going to rain

And he would get wet

And if mommy saw him out there she would yell

But now she was sleeping

Bottle in hand.

And the rain would make the snow all muddy

So that it wouldn’t glisten

Like the angels he prayed to at night.

He didn’t want it to rain

Cause it meant that god was crying

So he looked at the ground

And pretended the sun was out

And that everything was ok

Like he had taught himself to do.

 

 

 

But then he got scared

Because it was getting dark

And he was alone

And his feet hurt

And his shoe was untied

Cause he never learned how to make bunny ears

And loop one around the other.

Cause no one was there for him

And he didn’t want to trip

Cause then he would get hurt

Like when daddy had his belt.

And his pants would get stained

Cause of the muddy snow

And his mommy would hit him

And he would cry.

And his friends would have laughed

But they had all moved away

Cause last October

Daddy decided to use his gun

One last time

 

His mind hurt

Ideas swirling into dreams

Transforming into nightmares

He picked his head up

Tired from thought.

Still running,

He looked away from his home

With wet eyes

Cause he was sad

And the rain was damp

Dripping from his brow

Turning his tattered overalls a dark blue.

And momma was mad

And daddy was dead

And his life, Like those soft little words

Was lost among the breeze. 

Author's Note

this poem, is supposed to deliver a child-like approach to abuse and i hope u respect my use of words and phrases.

Reviews

[Kiya]

I do respect this poem, as it is one of the most saddest I have ever read. *Sniff* I really liked the way you told the story of the child without giving too much away, which almost intensifies the violence.

"And momma was mad
And daddy was dead
And his life, Like those soft little words
Was lost amongst the breeze."

Such depth! A wonderful write that is amazingly poignant, almost to the extent that you want to step into the poem and hug him, and tell him it's ok. I really admire you for this magic. Kudos to you :)

[Lauren Beth]

This is amazing, so much emotion hidden behind the words. It's crazy how you told such a heart-wrenching story with so much conviction without having actually experinced this, thats what makes a great writer. Almost made me cry. Great write, keep up the good work!

[Olivia]

omg! im lyke crying

[Shadow]

PIE!!!

[Laura E. Aranda]

Run, dear dreaming boy, I felt like the wind trying to push him along so the dreams he would be able to catch. Very heart touching and sad. A lump is caught in my throat. Good job! Cheers, lea

[LeeAnne]

Wow. Awesome poem. I really enjoyed it. =]

~LeeAnne Elizabeth

[Jillian]

wow, amazing... im impressed with your talent esp. for your age.

[Pauline Marie Daley]

A tragic story. The way you expressed it inspires emotions equal to your words. Your child's voice was heard well through the piece. Excellent write! :-)

[Lexy]

I can hear the child's words... OMG, I feel tears welling up in my eyes as I read this (though, admitedly, I cry @ a bunch of stuff. Something I never really admired about me). It also reminds me of something I wrote. Wow. This was really good. Just one correction: god somewhere in the poem should be God. Wow. Nice Job.
wow (the good kind).