Fallen

this is the story of how size and power does not seal your fate. even the mighty fall sometimes, but with this discourage and helplessness also comes the will to survive.

Fallen

 

A fallen leaf

Rests on the edge of its existence

Swaying quietly on the water

As smooth gliding ripples encase it in a frame

Veiled in the shade of its tall, proud brethren

Alone, fearful

Trapped in its own body

In immobility

But sink,

It does not

 

A fallen tree

Detached from its once sturdy roots

Pulled, by gravity from its home

As its green hair is swept downstream

By the rivers force

The massive oaks cackle at its helplessness

Oh how the mighty have fallen

 

Betrayed by its own abode,

Deceived by the weak

Whom it once towered over

So large, so strong,

But still,

Like the leaf

Through the pain

It floats

 

 

Author's Note

this is the story of how size and power does not seal your fait. even the mighty fall sometimes, but with this discourage and helplessness also comes the will to survive.

Reviews

[Lexy]

I think this is a good analogy. Well, if it was intended for an analogy. I happen to think, being smaller than most people my age, size doesn't matter. This was definitely a good write.

[Aileen]

hay wutz up. vrry nice. i luved it. i injoyed it alot. keap up th good work. it flet as thgh i wuz thr watching it happen.
Aileen

[Kiya]

Deep... Wow. I thought I would float away with the tree there. :) A really nice write with lots of empathy drawn from the reader. The words are nicely strung together, and it's music to my ears... my favourite line:

"The massive oaks cackle at it's hopelessness
Oh how the mighty have fallen"

(I thought after your correction I might as well edit this) A really nice piece of writing - Kudos.

[closed]

It flows nicely together! It was worded wonderfully and I really enjoyed it!

[Chaotic Mind]

This is a very nice poem, the imagery, and the story/lesson/thought was very good.
keep it up

[Allie]

Oh, wow ... you have used such powerful imagery here, it is just amazing! I love the whole concept, it really makes you think about things that you usually would not think about, or those that you don't want to think about.

Great job in this. The flow is great, the word choice is amazing, and it is just all around a lovely piece of work.

Excellent writing!