Abuse Part 1

Abuse is an old story for me. Happened once and will happen again. It shouldn't make a f*****g  difference but it does. It just seems to keep happening and I can't handle it. 

One f*****g incident after another. Is it always me? Did I do something to deserve it? I don't remember doing anything so bad that I deserve this. Sexual, verbal, physical... All of the f*****g above.  

Why people think it is right to abuse others is beyond me but it is not right and who ever does it needs to be f*****g punished. Jail or not they still need to be dealt with and I f*****g don't care how. I really don't. Nobody deserves to be hit or forced to do something against their will which is what happened to me. Always happened to me. I stopped caring about living or dying but doesn't mean I praise abuse. I actually hate it. I don't understand why people do it. It doesn't make any f*****g sense. 

It doesn't seem to make a difference to God if I pray or not my life just get's harder and harder and harder and I'm f*****g tired of it all. I may have stopped believing but I know he's out there and I hope he is listening in on my prayers but what ever he has planned is not working. I don't want my life fucked up by the past and it is. I don't want my life to go to hell but it f*****g is already. 

I wish I could continue on but I'm triggered so badly and struggling so badly right now I don't know if I could handle going on at the moment. I"m tired from lack sleep. I only had an hour of sleep last night.  I hurt my shoulder and need to slow down. I want to go on but I can't right now. Just writing this f*****g made me triggered and I don't wanna f*****g trigger anyone else. But just one more thing:

If anyone who abuses anyone else is reading I just want to say go to hell and back. I hate anyone f*****g people who abuses other people. Nobody deserves to be abused!!!!

Author's Note

I'm sorry about the language and everything but abuse is just such a touchy subject for me to write about but after everything today that happened I needed to event. If anyone feels like it should be changed to mature please just let me know and I will change it immediately. Sorry if this triggers anyone or causes anyone pain to read..

Reviews

[ATG]

I agree with you. Abusing someone is a horrible thing to do. I feel strongly about the subject of abuse especially towards children or women. It is the one of the few things that makes me snap and want to hurt the person doing such horrible things. As for the piece of writing, I must say it is very powerful. It seems like an extremely touchy and personal subject. I can really tell you have with this subject first hand which is very sad. I wouldn't change a thing on this. It is perfect piece of writing which accurately protrays your feelings. I for one thank you for sharing.