Deathly

Day after day
Night after night,
Thoughts racing along with the time.
She plays with the idea
Of it being her last night
But shrugs it off.

Her mind is of many,
So many that she wishes it was not.
Ones thoughts are bad enough
But others are too much.
Memories not just hers
But the rests too,
Never truly fade away.

Deep down she cries out
Everyone go away
LEAVE ME ALONE.
But is it really what she wants
Silence can kill
Some have said.
Does she truly want silence?

The others chatter
One especially she pays attention to
The voice is young and in tears
"Don't let them take me back!!!
Please don't please don't!"

The voice makes her remember
Not the child's fault
It's not ever the helpless child's doing.
Is that child her,
That voice her
The hurt in her eyes
Was that her?
Was it just a mere memory,
Or is it something more?
Was it a cry for help,
Or just a flash of what had been once.

It makes her question so much
But she doesn't want questions
She wants quiet and peace.
But only one way
Only one thing she can do
The thing she tells everyone not to do
Is her option.

She can put on an act
For so very long
Even when she no longer has to.
But its still just that
Just as a river,
will not change course.
Her mind has been set
And set it shall stay
The day of birth
Should be the day of death.