Prelude

The road was wet, the air crisp. Autumn was experiencing its annual rebirth as indisputably as her depression. Rage enveloped her like the oncoming cold front.  An indescribable sensation of failure and envy and betrayal raced from each valve of her pulsating heart to the tips of her sweating fingers. She accelerated. Not as if a steep hill were approaching but as if she were being stalked and pursued by a madman. She accelerated forcefully, in hopes that something hard and unyielding would be the only thing to come between her tiny body and the brutal laws of physics.

Just as designed, control was lost. Finally. The high. The rush. The charge. Salvation was underway. There she was… swerving and skidding gorgeously like a top across the pavement, almost fishtailing her pickup into different mortal situations second by second. I felt the need to cover my eyes, but I couldn’t. To think those seconds could drag on so long…

 

second one: she thought of mom…how the last thing on earth she needed was another heart attack

second two: she thought of the secret that destroyed her…how there it was again doing its daily rounds

second three: she thought of God, oh how peaceful her God…

second four: she thought of him, and how with any word of her demise he’d send a bullet straight through his beautiful, beautiful brain….

 

…but it wasn't until the fifth second, that very last second, that she thought of me.

 

Numbness receded. Epinephrine returned. Almost as her my body had bigger plans for her, nature conquered her shaking hands and took the wheel. Subconsciously, control was regained. Death was just a shot in the dark.