Blimp Fest

A Story by Katie Richards

Satire centered around the problems of American obesity.

BLIMP FEST

      I’ve come to believe balloon season is my most cherished season of all…with inflatable spheres of all colors and hues filling the sky. Yet, in spite of such variation, these balloons (though strange as it seems) with all their many colors and hues differing on great ends, all have the ability to be present at this very same festival at this very same time in this very same town, Obeserica. And (strange as it seems), the inflatable spheres of Obeserica (and Obeserica only) are larger and more broad than all the balloons north, south, east, and west of here…it’s no wonder some of the carnies brand it “Blimp Fest”. But when, you may ask, did the festivities begin?
       It all started years and years ago, the 1930s to be exact, with the resourceful (or not so much) invention of the “Twinkie”. In fact, this innovation was so ingenious, so revolutionary, that it could even be linked to new scientific breakthrough: the more Twinkies you ate, the more you began to look like one (successful cloning at last!). The more Twinkies the carnival-goers stuffed down their greedy, gluttonous, self-satisfied throats, the more their bodies acted as yellow sponges…absorbing all of the pleasurable nutrients and egotistical vitamins of the creams and syrups and cakes that the innovative Twinkie wholesomely provided. In fact, the creation of the Twinkie revolutionized an entire era! Obeserica soon opened its curtains to things such as potato chips, pretzels, and even the infamous two-liter “Sprite” bottles boasting their nourishing, healthy fruit contents…“100% Natural” lemon and lime extract (at least I hope to think so). And who can forget the Obeserican establishment of 12 new “fast food” joints? Purely ingenious. I’m afraid, though, that I am straying a bit off topic. Where were we again? Ah yes, the genesis of the festivities…
       Well, with all of the innovative milestones to the food industry (as well as society as a whole), milestones in health awareness grew as well. Specialists, dieticians, scientists, even my four year old nephew, detected a flaw in the genius of the Twinkie; a flaw in the intellect of the “junk food” movement……simply put, it was junk. All of it, junk. The problem though, you see, lay somewhere deep within. The more junk the victims ate, the more they fell into the power of addiction. The sweet, subtle melancholy in the lowest levels of appetite. The bitter lust for momentary pleasure, yet the reality of larger time fragments omitted from their long-run lifespan. Yes, the more they ate, the more the suckers (pun greatly intended) transformed into lifeless sponges…expanding on intake. And, with thanks to the expansion, their lungs expanded too…leaving us with the greatest annual balloon festival the world has ever seen. The Obeserican government came to the conclusion that due to the expansion and thus reversed laws of the earthly gravitational forces , it would not be reasonable or safe to allow floating humans into the workplace. After all, what good could they do if half the time their heads are in the clouds? So, as of twenty years ago, all of the “floaters” (to be politically correct), are contained in the bonds of Obeserica and, in order to assure them of their safety and humane connection to the earthly realm, they have been fastened to the town by cords and wires and ropes of all sizes and strengths. Of course, the overall problem of obesity could be reversed, even omitted, with healthful planning, the moderation of health standards in the area of production, and the self-control of gluttony. But, so much joy, variety, and momentary pleasure is found at the grand, indulging, satisfying balloon festival each and every year. Why stop now Obeserica?