A New Beginning

Today I am full of sorrow

Hurting in fear of tomorrow

Awaiting the final dark wave 

To drown me away from the life I once craved.

What has god layed out for me?

Depression, mistakes and death as my company.

Don't I have a bigger calling?

Or am I, one again, only dreaming? 

Tomorrow will be differnt I hope.

I'll probably start to cope

With my issues and masochistic behaviour, 

Hoping for a better future.

"Hope" and "optimism" aren't usually in my dictionary

But life has turned things around completely,

Startling me with how I've started to mutate, 

Wanting more for myself, wanting to build, to create.

For the first time in a long time, 

Life isn't about fixing what I've done wrong.

I will not feel sorry for my crimes, 

But I will learn from them and move along.