It is nothing but a maze, A maze he fails to navigate. A place others often can't locate, Overlooking its gate unopened untouched. They do not notice the agonies that lay hidden within, It's a maze they fail to locate, Overlooking the gate unopened untouched.
Changing conditions leave the path scarred and rough, Making it hard to navigate even for someone so tough, For the dark clouds have now dawned, Bright and sunny days long gone.
Echoing with an aura of eeriness, Murky thoughts glide past its walls wounded and engulfed in mystery, Shadowing images dark and decorated with gloom, Craving cheeriness now subject to history.
His mind is nothing but a maze, A maze he fails to navigate.
* * * * * * * * * *
It is nothing but a maze he wanders aimlessly through, A maze so confusing never did he imagine it could be true.
Lost in this maze, All alone in a faze, He knows not where to go, Where to turn when to return, Wishing silently for the end of this maze of life.
The twists and turns have been taking a huge toll, Reducing his gait to a mere crawl. He is fine but disturbed, Calm but perturbed, Beaming on the outside screaming in the inside, Struggling to walk drowned in shock, He tries to find his way through this seemingly endless maze of life.
* * * * * * * * * *
These are the mazes he fails to navigate, These are the mazes he craves to navigate, Through these words he hopes to call upon a peer, For together they shall navigate without any fear.
As the title says, this poem is about the two mazes of my life. Two complicated things. The first half refers to my mind as my its a maze even I fail to navigate. People fail to understand me and my thoughts; they very often fail to locate the gate. Even when the facts are laid bare in front of them they choose to ignore them and continue on with their life as though they haven't been noticing anything unusual; they overlook the gate. Its a selfish world indeed. Recent experiences have complicated the way I think. Turned me into someone I never thought I'd be. Day by day, optimistic thoughts are being replaced by pessimistic thoughts creating dark images in my mind, and leaving behind those care-free bright sunny days, which I had once taken for granted. The dark clouds have emerged out of nowhere, making it harder to navigate and there seems no way out of it.
The second half of the poem describes the maze of life. Passage of time has, yet again complicated this maze. The twists and turns-ups and downs, mostly downs, have sucked out most of the self confidence and belief I once had. Suddenly even the simplest of the things seem to pose as obstacles.
Knowing that this maze of life and mind is an endless one, I hope to find a true friend who's ready to face the challenges together-someone who's actually there for you when you're in need. Someone who is not there for the sake of it just because you've been helping them a lot but someone who realizes the true meaning of friendship. Someone real maybe...
Please do drop in your honest opinions;I apologize for not reviewing your pieces as I've been pretty busy with school lately, will get back to it as soon as possible.
Thanks
My Review
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I think now that you have split the two sections, you can attack them one at a time. Locate a sound starting point where you were at ease with yourself and work forward from there. Try to locate any incongruities in your behavior because of something you are not picking up that your environment is doing or that you are doing that your environment is not comfortable with.This will be the gate to the maze and it will only develop exponentially from there. The same method of discernment will also work on your second maze. Once you find the gates of the mazes, tracking down the the far gate should be fairly easy.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks for putting in the effort to review this piece! Yes, in my opinion the poem would've been bet.. read moreThanks for putting in the effort to review this piece! Yes, in my opinion the poem would've been better the way you're suggesting but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to make these changes anytime soon-busy month ahead. I'll surely send it to you whenever I'm done with it.. I can always count upon you for some sound and honest advice, thanks again!
I think now that you have split the two sections, you can attack them one at a time. Locate a sound starting point where you were at ease with yourself and work forward from there. Try to locate any incongruities in your behavior because of something you are not picking up that your environment is doing or that you are doing that your environment is not comfortable with.This will be the gate to the maze and it will only develop exponentially from there. The same method of discernment will also work on your second maze. Once you find the gates of the mazes, tracking down the the far gate should be fairly easy.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks for putting in the effort to review this piece! Yes, in my opinion the poem would've been bet.. read moreThanks for putting in the effort to review this piece! Yes, in my opinion the poem would've been better the way you're suggesting but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to make these changes anytime soon-busy month ahead. I'll surely send it to you whenever I'm done with it.. I can always count upon you for some sound and honest advice, thanks again!
Thought provoking with beautiful imagery and creativity .. aren't we all - writers - constantly delving deep into ourselves trying to better ourselves to better project the world around us .. your poem spoke directly to my sub-conscious unlocking certain aspects while neutralizing others as I too got my own mazes Gupta.. brilliant!
i know this all too well and can relate....even when we spell things out, there are others who tend to either ignore it or they simply do not understand it...i really like this
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Yes, its one of the worst feelings ever to be ignored like that. Nice to know I'm not alone haha.
Life has many twists and turns. Everyone sees these twists and turns through their own perception. It is very difficult to see any given situation through someone else's eyes. The self awareness throughout this write is deep and interesting. It is empowering to look at one's life like this. Lydi**
i saw many things in this poem....i saw someone outside himself looking in, trying to understand his decisions in life...what he has already done, what he might do...
it is a deep piece and i really appreciate the words....one suggestion is to leave out the author's note and let readers allow the poem to speak to them individually...rather than steering us in a certain direction....this poem can be quite universal...
j.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you for your review Jacob :)
Yes, I agree with you but I thought including a detailed.. read moreThank you for your review Jacob :)
Yes, I agree with you but I thought including a detailed description would help the average reader comprehend this poem considering its rather deep and confusing. The others are free to see and relate in their own way :D
There is a lot of information here, I might break this up into 2 poems. #1 and #2
Do poem #1 on your mind's failure to navigate
Do poem #2 on the maze of life
At the end, make a statement that ties the two poems together and links them so your readers will grab all the info that you have thrown at them!
Thanks for taking the time to review this Raj. Yeah, I guess you're right;I could've done that earli.. read moreThanks for taking the time to review this Raj. Yeah, I guess you're right;I could've done that earlier on. Now that its posted I guess I'll let it stay, never mind. Will sure take note of this the next time I write a lengthy piece.
9 Years Ago
I hope that what I told you will help you organize your poetry pieces. Spread the information out a .. read moreI hope that what I told you will help you organize your poetry pieces. Spread the information out a bit more and use a larger font for us older readers to see!