The Dreamer

Love like this only exists in dreams.

The sky overhead is full of dark, billowing clouds. I see lightning slash ominously through the thick air. Then it hits me; the sky is the only thing I see. Quickly I turn my head to the left and I am instantly assaulted by the sickly, sweet stench of freshly dug earth. I am lying deep within the belly of the earth surrounded by dirt on either side and the air above me seems to shiver with anticipation. Panic sets in. I try in vain to sit up, I claw at the walls of my narrow enclosure, and hysterical screams rip from my throat. A long red ribbon floats away in the wind and then the world around me goes black.

                I wake standing in a field of wheat swaying gently in the breeze. The air is smells clean and I am intoxicated by its aroma. There is a mighty oak tree protruding from the ground; its branches are gnarled and twisted and I somehow sense it is centuries old. Beneath the tree sits a boy. From where I’m standing he looks to be about six or seven years old and he seems to be examining an oddly shaped boulder in front of him. Slowly I walk toward him. It makes no sense but the closer I get the older he looks. By the time I reach him a handsome young man sits before me, he looks up at me and his eyes are full of tears. In his hand he holds a bright red ribbon.

The ground starts to shake; I watch as the scene before me melts away to reveal the purplish- pink of the sky behind a setting sun. Droplets of salty liquid land on my cheek, warm water washes across my bare feet. I feel the smooth cotton of my dress press against my skin as the wind picks up. Suddenly I am lifted into the air by strong arms and a deep, cheerful laugh echoes behind me. I am turned around and gently kissed by soft, familiar lips. Passion sweeps through my body and I kiss back as if it’s the last kiss I’ll ever give. My feet touch the ground, I feel his hands move down my back, he pulls me closer and I can feel his desire. Suddenly I am overtaken by a love so fierce it hurts. I feel as though I should try to pull away but I can’t let go. His skin is so smooth and he smells so sugary like fresh baked cookies and his lips feel so incredible as they start to work their way down my neck and the beach is so beautiful and everything just feels so right… until he stops. I look up into his sapphire blue eyes and realize it’s the boy from the wheat field. He’s about an inch or two taller than me with short white blonde hair and slightly tanned skin. His muscles are well defined much like his jaw line and around his neck he wears a silver medallion. He starts to speak, but the ocean roars behind us. He grip on my waist tightens and he pulls my head toward his chest in a protective embrace right before we are swallowed up by a massive wave. I feel the shock stab through me like a knife and the force of the wave rips us apart. I see him drift away toward the surface as the water drags me further down into a dark abyss. The red ribbon glides along with the current taunting me.

When I open my eyes I find myself perched on the hood of an old Ford truck looking up at the stars. The night air is warm, I am wearing the same white dress from the beach, but as if by magic it is clean and dry. I smell burning charcoal and get the impression that I must be at a campground, although the landscape gives me no indication that my theory is correct. There is a dirt road behind me, but the truck is parked in the grass. A few old southern trees are scattered here and there decorated with beautiful Spanish moss. I hear the faint tinkle of wind chimes in the distance and realize for the time that Tim McGraw is playing on the radio inside the truck. Then I hear the footsteps behind me. He has a couple of wine glasses in his hand and the smile on his face fills me with warmth.  He hands me a glass and hops up on the hood next to me. He lays back and looks up at the stars for a moment then he turns his head and stares straight into my eyes with hints of that gorgeous smile still lingering on his face. “I love you, you know.” He says it playfully like the fact should be obvious. And somehow I love him too even though I barely know him. I try to tell him so, but before I have the chance he speaks again.

 “I’m afraid of what would happen if I ever lost you. You make me feel stronger than I could ever be on my own.” I don’t know what to say so instead I put my arm around his waist and tug him closer to my side. He gives a short little laugh and kisses my cheek, “You are so beautiful baby.” I blush and look away playfully. He tugs at my hair and I feel it fall over my shoulders. When I turn back around I see the red ribbon in his hand and once again the night falls away.

The sun streams in through the blinds and falls across the bed where I lay tangled in my sheets. The alarm reads six fifty- seven and I smell pancakes cooking downstairs. I think back on my dream and wonder what it could mean. I climb out of bed and a chill runs down my spine. I walk slowly over to my bathroom, brush my hair back into a ponytail, tie it up with my favorite red ribbon, and head downstairs into the kitchen. As I head down the stairs I try to put together the pieces of my dream, but all I can remember is the awful boulder with my name inscribed on it. It was my tombstone. And that boy was crying for me. I try to shake off the anxious feeling the dream left, but I soon find that that is not going to be easy; the boy from my dreams in standing on the front porch talking to my dad and laughing.

I go outside to find out what this is about, but neither of them seem to notice me. I look at my dad’s tired eyes and wonder if he’s feeling ok. He hasn’t been taking very good care of himself lately. He says he’s an old man and he’ll live how he wants to. I catch part of their conversation and realize they’re talking about me when I was little. “Excuse me,” I say with disbelief, “I’m standing right here.” They proceed to ignore me and I feel my temper flaring. Seriously, I’m standing right in front of them.

“I really do miss her.” The boy’s face turns sad as the words fall from his lips. My dad chokes on his next words. “She was lucky to have you in her life. I know you made her happy will she was here.” Dad pats the boy on the shoulder and asks if he’d like to come in for breakfast. He declines, but says thank you anyway. As he walks back down the dirt road that leads to my house I see his shoulders slump and his head fall. I stand frozen on the porch not knowing what to say or do. I look around for the red ribbon and realize I tied my hair up with it. I reach my hand back to remove it and get a handful of my hair. I start to scream in fear and horror. This can’t be possible. I start to back away into my house, I want to talk to my dad, but instead I feel myself falling backward. I am lying deep within the belly of the earth surrounded by dirt on either side and the air above me seems to shiver with anticipation. I feel dirt falling on top of me and try to scream but no sound comes out. The dirt covers my eyes and it is in my mouth and I can’t breathe. I wake up in bed screaming at the top of my lungs and suddenly my dad bursts through the door of my bedroom. “Don’t worry, honey, it was just a bad dream.”