Incessantly Beating

I have a heart that beats incessantly loud.

            It demands attention. It cries for an answer.

                        It pleads with the shadows “Why? Why? Why?”

My heart is lost and frightened.

            The world is cruel, but it is miraculous.

                        Soldiers kill yet they prevail and fight for a cause.

                        Black is not evil, it only shields us from the world’s trickery and deception.

                        And light does not always illuminate the beauty of the world, but often blinds us so that                                              we are unable to see the threats lurking nearby.

                        The clean are tainted by the sheltering walls of their loved ones.

                        The filthy are saved by the hope of being clean.

My heart beats incessantly loud; it cannot comprehend the mechanics of a world so complex.

            Our souls strive for purity and wholeness, but find only dark alleys and side streets                                        contaminated with drugs and violence.

            Fear of what may happen and excitement of prosperous opportunities drive us forward and pull                    us further back.

            Open up; stay hidden.

            Fight; accept that there is no way to win.

            Pray; learn.

What is the point?

My heart beats incessantly louder.

            It echoes my desires and gives voice to my nightmares.

            It cries for the weary and rejoices for the fortunate.

            Then it realizes we are all equally fortunate and plagued.

                        There is no perfection and there is no absolute devastation.

                        There is only middle ground; for there is love hiding amongst wicked hearts

                        There is hatred behind the pleasant facades of those we admire and adore.

                        The rich are hungry and the poor are full.

My heart beats vigorously against my chest.

“Speak; scream above the roar of vile, beautiful people. Tell them that there is nothing and everything to learn. Show them the possibilities. Show them everything gorgeous and ugly. Teach them; reach out to them. Even if they hands are scarred and their eyes have been shown shut. Whether they are broken porcelain dolls or wretched hideous freaks. If they believe in anything at all or they are devoid of life. Teach the world to scream.”

My heart stops beating.

            Several seconds pass and nothing happens.

                        The world is screaming without me.

                                    And each new voice rocks the foundation of our existence.