MY love

Its just a start and i don't know how long it will be. This is part of a song i'm trying to write for my boyfriend. I repeat this is not a poem! I kinda suck at writing poems and stuff like that...

When your gone,
I fell like part of me leave.
But when around,
that empty void disappears,
When your close to me,
I feel like i can be myself,
I don't have to be anybody else.
But when your leave,
I feel that emptiness coming back,
And I loose part of me.

I miss everything about you,

I can’t believe you’ve gone.

Your everything I could ever wish for,

Everything I’ve ever wanted,

Everything I’ve ever needed.

You give me hope, 

To get through life.

You’re always there, 

Even though we’re miles apart.

You love me, 

And I love you.

You’re the only one I have,

I’m your shining star.

You my heart,

As I am yours.

Author's Note

Okay so I know it probably doesn't look or sound good but I kinda suck at writing poems and such... My writing just comes to me and sometimes it doesn’t make any sense at all... please don’t judge how stupid it sounds and everything...

Reviews

[Summer D.]

You should finish it. I think you could be a lot more creative with this poem; as I see a lot of repetition here that I could find easily in other poems. Maybe something a little bit more unique?

There's some spelling errors: " feel " not "fell".

Some choppy lines here and there and some polishing on the formatting.
Otherwise I think this could be something truly spectacular. It just needs some work love..

Thank you for the two reviews Ms. Star! Greatly appreciated!