Bells

grammar/glossary, flow, praise, critique--- All very welcome :=)

 BELLS

 

There used to be these bells

Tolling and chiming metallically

In electrified air

And they would summon and ignite

Every fiber of these robes and bones

And the red rooster

Would crow in that high-pitched heat

 

And I would be thoroughly stirred

 Charged with the metallic nutrition

 Of blissful bells

And electric, vivid air

Spinning me in the manic motions of a thirties- film-reel

 

Now

All tensions have been released

And the bells

Are buried under hollow, hesitant airs

The rooster sits

Mute and

Stares

 

The armchair is comfortable

Here

All passions are neglected

I’ve grown my nails and hair

You should try to feel, what it’s like

 To be tame

 

The Rooster

Who remains on the spiral stair

Has caught an awful cold

It sometimes tries

To elevate its comb

With the usual, youthful pride

Then it looks at me

Arms, hanging limp

From each side of the armchair

Yes, it’s still dark, feathered friend

It is still very dark

You should rest your red throat and comb

 

If anyone should mention

Women

Or

The city

I will have to laugh

 

This is the quarry of the heart

 

 

Author's Note

An afternoon-meditation.
grammar/glossary, flow, praise, critique--- All very welcome :=)

Reviews

[Elly_Green]

I like this a lot! I find it hard to often support my reasoning to create new words when the perfect one does not yet exist - I see you do too: "metallically."

May I mention that I find your use of imagery incredible? This line, specifcally, speaks of a particular thought in mind: "Spinning me in the manic motions of a thirties- film-reel"

One more thing. Depression or suicide?

[Dayran]

Some part of our self responds best to the faith in passions ... where such passions ... represented by bells ... refer to something other than the plainly ordinary. Its a reminder of Glory ... deliberately understated in passing off the rooster ... as the usual male vanity on issues.

A long reach KN ... but one that might be worth the trip ... if we believe ... for isn't that the pinnacle of the glory we seek? And if the bells continue ... I figure so will you. A write of promise.

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Thank you so much for the laoyalty and interest :) I love reading your reflective reviews :)

[Sami Khalil]

"All passions are neglected
I’ve grown my nails and hair
You should try to feel, what it’s like
To be tame"

This is wonderful. I take the bells as those conscience sounds we hear within. The air that we breathe is the world and its dogmas. The tainted nutrition so to speak. I feel the passing of youth from this Rooster and how we was the king of the hen house(s)...And then that final lines about the fading passions in the quarry of the heart in the city of women...Bravo

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Thank you so much for reading and writing, Sami! I loved hearing your thoughts on it :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)....................

[KAin]

Excellent work here, K.N.
There's a note of a subtle desperation in this piece that you maintain throughout this piece - a discordant melody that somehow just fits together to create something both sad and hopeful.
I felt it especially in these lines -

"The Rooster
Who remains on the spiral stair
Has caught an awful cold
It sometimes tries
To elevate its comb
With the usual, youthful pride
Then it looks at me
Arms, hanging limp"

There're so many images and metaphors in this piece that it's hard for me to single out the one I like most, but you've managed to put the sense of the passage of years into this piece, a feeling of a war of attrition... one that's taken its toll.
Well written indeed, sir.

[K.N. Lorenzen]

I'm glad you find so much in this poem :) Thank your Landred :)

[Frieda P]

A bittersweet tale you've spun.

The armchair is comfortable
Here
All passions are neglected
I've grown my nails and hair
You should try to feel, what it’s like
To be tame

Each of your stanzas is brilliant in it's own write, that's my favorite of all...your bell's toll smarts.

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Thank you dearly, Frieda :)

[Frieda P]

Pleasure was all mine, you're fast becoming one of my favorites here. :-)

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Ih, you make me proud :)

[Delmar Cooper]

I suppose the poem is about decline.
Cooper

[K.N. Lorenzen]

You bet
K.

[Kristina Moulaison]

Excellent! I love reading things that make me envious...this does. "Are buried under hollow, hesitant airs" took my breath away. I loved so many of these lines. Swoon!

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Thank you so much, Kristina :) My utmost gratitude!

K.

[kublakhan27]

Reminds me of one of my favourite poems, Poe's The Bells...it has the same mix of subtle and frantic as what you've employed here...lots of gripping and imaginative imagery. Great piece :)

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Thanks a lot for the kind words, Kublakhan :)

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Id' love to read some Poe ;) Thanks!

[kublakhan27]

He's worth checking out :)

[K.N. Lorenzen]

I know :) I was blown away, when reading "The Raven" for the first time!