Kindness

All feedback is deeply appreciated! Grammar/Inaccuracy etc.

KINDNESS

 

There is a construction-site

Bathed in blue spot-lights

By the gravel pit

 

Where workers and cranes rear in the wind

Digging and dumping cement-blocks

In the grainy clay-soil

 

A giant cable box

And a cam of granite

Cause occasional power cuts

Broken tools

And toppled cranes

Postpone the final construction

 

The cattle graze in the same field

But drink from separate springs

 

At night a shovel hits

The main-wire

And the workers are sent home

 

There’s a grain of sand between the palms that meet

And there’s a crevice in kindness

Where each worker wanders homeward

Alone

In the distance

Meaning

 Forever

 

Between

Ishmael and Isaac

 

Salaam

And

Shalom

 

K.N. 7/3 2014

 

 

Author's Note

Ishmael: The patriarch of Islam
Isaac: The patriarch of Jewism
Shalom: Peace be with you (Hebrew)
Salaam: Peace be with you (Arabic)

Reviews

[Karen]

I know that the message may be one of realizing that Islam and Judaism descended from the same forefather, but what I enjoy the most about this poem is the description of the construction site. That image is phenomenal because it's not simply the fact that there's probably places that are in reality under construction, but that metaphorically, aren't we all at some level or another? Sometimes that construction is done quickly, and sometimes it takes time to mend past hurts, to build new relationships, and to strengthen one's character. Beautifully written poem!

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Loren... "There's a grain of sand between the palms
that meet. And there's a crevice of kindness." We are here to
understand and help eachother. Bless you dear poet... Amen..
truly... Pat

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Thank you for reading, Patricia :) Bless you, too!

[Frieda P]

Wow, I love the way your mind works K, you tinkered with this thought and gave it new meaning.

[K.N. Lorenzen]

I'm so glad you do, Frieda :) Thank you for reading!

[Frieda P]

Can I have a peek inside your head? ;) My pleasure....!

[K.N. Lorenzen]

I'm not ready for decapitation just yet. Besides, it's all grey and bloody in there ;)
Thak you!

[Frieda P]

Ha sounds like the inside of my head! ;-P

[Dayran]

You're certainly right about it being under construction. I just came from a middle-eastern restaurant where the food never failed to impress ... but not today ... the chef's probably in some kinda mood. I guess it happens sometimes ... and on other occasions ... it picks up again.

Abraham's sacrifice of Isaac was halted by an angel ... and he was instead asked for a lamb ... already in some thorny bush ... and in pain ... and the sacrifice released him from suffering. In viewing the experience as such ... I'll say there was little attempt to hide the fact that the lamb was Ishmael. Together therefore Ishmael and Isaac ... led the division of man ... and made it possible for us to transcend the mere bounds of passion and raise the mind to thought.

But looking at mid-eastern politics today ... you'll wonder what lessons they are now learning. Nice write KN.

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Thank you for reading and sharing your deep and intelligent thoughts on the subject :) I think you have some crucial points!

K.

[AYVID N]

Is there really such a great distance between them...? I often wonder...Is it such an unbridgable gap...? Especially when they sprang from the same fountainhead...


Thanks for this thought-provoking writing...

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Thank you for reading and reviewing :) They are the most alike of the monotheistic religions, and sadly (as mentioned by Darian) there are these "crevices/voids (depending on your view" that serve as beds for the weeds of alienation and enmity, overshadowing the "unifying" powers of the common mythology/biology/humanity. I thought; this is a sad example of the persistent boundaries between man, which remain, despite the goodwill and struggle for a "more unified" world. It is an incredibly sore and emotional debate(POLITICS and HISTORY:)), and my aim was not restrained to this particular, tenacious conflict, but the nature of the timeless alienating powers, the grain in the palms that meet, delaying the reconcialliation with what can (seem) like- forever. I'm glad you found it thought-provoking :) Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts!

[kublakhan27]

A very intriguing piece...I came up with a few interpretations just while reading it. A compelling social commentary, well done :)

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Thank you very much for the kind words, Kublakhan. I really appreciate it :)

K.

[Lyn Anderson]

I liked this. It reminds me of some documentaries I have seen, where kids play together despite their supposed need to hate each other. A really interesting and deep perspective. I read it twice, didn't pick up any "errors" grammatically speaking.

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Thank you, KlGoode :) All error-reports are welcome :) Thank you for reading and reviewing!
read moreThank you, KlGoode :) All error-reports are welcome :) Thank you for reading and reviewing!

K.

[Lloyd Frieson-Small]

This is awesome. Your minds switches between this world and the ephemeral so quickly, that it's hard to catch.

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Thank you, Oncecoveted :)

[Delmar Cooper]

It does so little good to be sons of the book and willfully illiterate. Lovely expression of a loathsome situation. I like best the metaphor (parable) of the separate springs.

Cooper

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Thank you, Cooper :)