Kindness

All feedback is deeply appreciated! Grammar/Inaccuracy etc.

KINDNESS

 

There is a construction-site

Bathed in blue spot-lights

By the gravel pit

 

Where workers and cranes rear in the wind

Digging and dumping cement-blocks

In the grainy clay-soil

 

A giant cable box

And a cam of granite

Cause occasional power cuts

Broken tools

And toppled cranes

Postpone the final construction

 

The cattle graze in the same field

But drink from separate springs

 

At night a shovel hits

The main-wire

And the workers are sent home

 

There’s a grain of sand between the palms that meet

And there’s a crevice in kindness

Where each worker wanders homeward

Alone

In the distance

Meaning

 Forever

 

Between

Ishmael and Isaac

 

Salaam

And

Shalom

 

K.N. 7/3 2014

 

 

Author's Note

Ishmael: The patriarch of Islam
Isaac: The patriarch of Jewism
Shalom: Peace be with you (Hebrew)
Salaam: Peace be with you (Arabic)

Reviews

[Karen]

I know that the message may be one of realizing that Islam and Judaism descended from the same forefather, but what I enjoy the most about this poem is the description of the construction site. That image is phenomenal because it's not simply the fact that there's probably places that are in reality under construction, but that metaphorically, aren't we all at some level or another? Sometimes that construction is done quickly, and sometimes it takes time to mend past hurts, to build new relationships, and to strengthen one's character. Beautifully written poem!

[Karen]

I know that the message may be one of realizing that Islam and Judaism descended from the same forefather, but what I enjoy the most about this poem is the description of the construction site. That image is phenomenal because it's not simply the fact that there's probably places that are in reality under construction, but that metaphorically, aren't we all at some level or another? Sometimes that construction is done quickly, and sometimes it takes time to mend past hurts, to build new relationships, and to strengthen one's character. Beautifully written poem!

[N!LoC]

wow... a very inteligently artistic written poem.... :-)

[Temerity]

Wow, it's hard for me to find poetry I really enjoy on this site sometimes - but this was a lovely exception. You have a very nice, subtle use of language here, and weave concepts together seamlessly. I hope to read more of your works in the future. Keep writing, and best wishes. x

[Mark]

And so Abraham is patriarch of both. Some day perhaps we all will remember we come from the same place, ultimately the same ancestors. Nice work. :)

[K.N. Lorenzen]

I certainly hope you're right, Mark :) Thanks a lot!

[John Ryan]

i feel that people nowadays dont have any kindness :/ which is a really sad thought when you think of all the great things to live for

[K.N. Lorenzen]

I am certainly familiar with the feeling. And yes! You are right :)

[KWP]

people do have kindness.... perhaps they are more conditioned with fear .... i will never give up on the human race... we are all here learning our own lessons and in our own time

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Absolutely! I haven't given up on mankind.

[Inda]

Amazing imagery and a powerful message of hope, tolerance and peace.

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Thank you so much, Inda :) I really appreciate it.

[Kristina Moulaison]

Ah...yes! Brilliant! Love that I had no idea where you were going, until the sand and the patriarchs and the parting words. This will stay with me, how you have captured a sentiment that rolls around in my mind, these brothers and the chasm between them...how you have brought it simplified down to earth, distilled it so beautifully into those four words.

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Your perception is very much in line with my intention. That makes me very happy :) Thank you!

[writing mojo]

I get it how there's a peroration from rock hard stubbornness, yet a foundation to all whom know the difference between reaching for the stars as opposed to looking from the ground..interesting take on the dogma of omnipotence recalled through deep in thought..

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Thank you, Mojo :) Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. Deeply appreciated.

K.

[writing mojo]

I am a little off, but I really like the flow of your stuff

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Thanks again!