Disassociation

If I'm not listening
Are the words still spoken

If I'm not processing
Has your confession been received

Have I been notified
If I'm outside of my mind
And do I have to face it
If I stay there all the time

If my mind is where I want to be
And reality is not
What is the harm in staying there
In my comfortable cushioned space
Where no pain can reach me
No harsh words or cruel realities

If I leave my body now
Will I remain in a state of rest
Can I protect my sanity
And what's left of my fragmented heart
If I leave for a little while
Will it be for the best?

Reviews

[Tony Jordan]

'Checking out' can indeed be a form of healing. My aunt's only son died (he was 50) - two years after his passing she appeared to suffer a swift form of dementia (Louie Bodies) and was hospitalised.
Heavy doses of anti-depressants saw her leave hospital some months later apparently healed.
The shrink said he hadn't dealt with the loss and it consumed her all at once. So she had 'checked out' involuntarily for her own sanity.
This recalled that awful time. I wonder if she thought these thoughts prior to the incident...
Well written poem kristen.