he

he has hazel eyes
that shine so bright
you could say brighter then the sun
hes all happy and safe
but after that one dark night
his hazel eyes turned dull and dark
he lost his friend that fatal night
due to a drunk driver
the boys were only fourteen
walking home from the store
when two bright car lights
came behind them and struck the boys
the friend died on the scene and the other lived
now he feels all alone on the earth
with noone to talk to

Reviews

[Chaos]

I think this a sad story, but the flow is off a bit. I think with some minor changes, this piece could be as strong as the sentiment deserves.

[Violeta]

interesting and trutfull, but I am sure you can do better