No One's Seen You Cry

What life's like when you never trust another (Oct. 2013)

Here you’re past twenty-five

And only your parents have seen you cry

You hold your heart in shadowed forests

And sing alone to its myelonic chorus

 

You think up and conceive these perfect arms

You paint up an idea of family and farm

But you’re not telling yourself the truth

You don’t have the gifts and couth

 

You’re a child of fear

Grown young beyond your years

You cower with your dungeoned soul

Split hairs as age takes its toll

 

You are worthless clay

The accumulation of scared days

You’ve avoided the lessons that promote growth

In favor of a six-year old’s oath

 

Others see a handsome man

Free from civil bindings that rattle plans

But you have seen through the mirror

To the coffined child who’s free for terror

 

You are guided by feelings that numb

And come from minds that suck their thumb

You want to pretend that you’re all grown up

That you can hold another and fill their cup

 

But you are only telling lies

You’re consumed by darkness as you swat at flies

Your actions are not moving forward

They’re treading shadows of memories ignored

 

You’ll never face what scares

And forever hide in callowed lairs

You’ll dream of the girl who pulls you from your youth

Into laughter and into sleuth

 

But these are the fancies of a tender mind

They never come to those who whisper kind

They are taken by those who lust

And keep stagnate you slowed by dust

 

You cannot shake free from what you’ve become

Or you’d turn into the oppressing scum

You’d rather die than become your nightmare

An incubus that keeps you ensnared

 

So watch your seasons and futures pass

As you wait every moment until your last

Now you’ll face what you never birthed

And curse your life tilled into earth

 

These precious moments you let slip away

For the sins of others you would not pay

Now look at your gray-haired loves of fantasies

Those arms and smiles you never pleased

 

All because you were afraid to cry

Be held by another and let out your sighs

You’ve only proven you never loved

Or found out what life was made of

Author's Note

The first two lines are a fact of my reality, and I am just exploring where that will eventually lead.