Lazy Sorrow

Apathetic suicide (2009?)

My teeth click on elevating heaven

Its rooms slowly tick by

One finally stops for me

Leaden angel rests inside.

 

The back door clicks open

My hope is finally out

My nose inhales this oily tram

It rests on surfaces without doubt.

 

My tongue reaches out to cold deliverance

I drink my last moments

My hand warms the wooden stairway

But nothing ever opens.

 

Nothing can ever happen

For that one has to care

The dream falls away

It lies in musty air.

 

I sidle away to misery

In this old world there are no tears

There are no questions asked

My sitting is my fear.

 

Eternity is had at every moment

In purgatory I remain

Why was I put here,

Can there be anything to blame?

Reviews

[Jeni Reed]

No matter the state of a persons life, that is, regardless of whether lives are looked on as happy or sad or well lived or wasted, everyone is in their own hell? Is this the idea that the life that people live is in fact purgatory?

[kris reed]

I would agree that most lives are lived in purgatory. This was actually a paragraph in a story I wrote but didn't like, so I reworked it into a poem. I don't know my original feeling of when I wrote this, but I would say it's about wanting meaning in life but never finding it, so wanting life to end but not caring enough about myself to do so. An odd feeling of apathy and comfort and tortured brains unspilled.