Crimson Roofs

It took nearly 30's to see this roof

Catalyzed by chemicals; air rain and heat

It took millions of evaporation and condensation,

         to finally see the feat.

To finally be allured by such majestic crimson tint

It will take 40 to see it frail

To look at rusted crumbs that fall

Even winds hardly keep it from being unnoticed

To what the rusting roof would tell

It will take 50 to notice a whole

On when the weather would take its toil

The crimson roof that thee once knew

Wither and hardly comparable to once a crimson hue

At 70, No one wanted it fall

That within its roof is a foundation of us all

We will always be free 

That it prepared us in way we see.

Author's Note

For my parents

Reviews

[Moonflower]

The way that you worded it at times, was throwing me off...especially the first line "It took nearly 30's to see this roof" I didn't really understand what this meant, and couldn't figure out the concept..I'm not sure if its just me, but I think that it could have been worded more obviously, if you're speaking of years than "It took thirty years to see this roof" would be just fine, and would be much less confusing.
Other than that this is a very good piece, very well written and portrayed, I enjoyed the mood and flow.

[Randolf Ramos]

Our loving parents they are our roof.

[sherwin]

I like the subject and the point youre making. I like the imagery and I hope you use more of that in all your pieces. Keep challenging yourself and us. good job.

[Hippy]

it is interesting i feel you arent just speaking of a roof but your so mysterious about what your writing hat im lost. i dislike the wording it bothered me and was a bit jumpy to me and the numbers seem to represent years to me but you don't clearly express. the thing i must compliment most is the picture your words painti found that my highlight

[Ruth]

I find the wording very interesting :) Something where age has taken its time over decaying!
Something nostalgically biting about this piece, wonderfully said!
xx

[A.A.Romanczuk]

hmm..brought me in mind of decaying Polish villages...You have to search deep...but You still find some with the straw...I guess it is...thatching on the roof....:) Lovely

[RJM]

nostalgic poem, it's like seeing the rustic villages in the old countryside the ones built during the time of our ancestors. Nice poem the passage of time really is captured

[roarke]

Nice. I like the approach of this writing. Passing of time, measuring awareness, effect on the setting and the memory. So much with so little, very well handled.

[Moth Phoenix]

"Catalyzed by chemicals" is an awesome line :D The whole poem is very descriptive and wonderful!! Great job! I really like the first stanza, it's very descriptive :D Keep up the wonderful writing!!!