Nibs - Letting bygones by bygones

I love to learn from the ebbs of tide
With seiche of psephites from side to side
Though shrieking sounds in air it had fulfill
I found its music amusingly dear

Through centuries in bout that gaping mulch
Churned by torrent waves no - hold - barred
Bludgeoning surges steadfastly found
Sharp ridges on skerries land

Sea gulls lurks cupidity on school of fish
Spoils the tender sea girted scene
Tempestuously ply flouted like poseurs glim
But nay, nary I find the niflheim silhouette,
heckly obscene

Noetic sun rises and shine
Illuminating the crystal sea
Streeking incognisant to playa's line
Thee savagely splashes murky water
Mine is a wonderful life in time,
Found delight in all things sublime

Reviews

[Randolf Ramos]

ok ok thanks for the review brother.... thanks for the ideas i'll fix it later.

[Dinesh Sairam]

First I'd like to say, Good poem doesn't necessarily contain harsh vocabulary (You may argue saying people must get to develop their English word skills. But really, poems that are most welcomed are the ones with simpler words and a wholesome heart. Many great poems and poets are an example).

But since I understood (Many might not understand at the first read, just my view), this is good. :) I especially loved the last stanza; It has a ton of imagery, unlike the first three stanzas.

I didn't get "seiche of psephites" - Can psephites seiche? (Maybe you meant 'Psephites belonging to the seiche'. But you say 'From side to side', so you evidently mean the former).

"it had fulfill" is not correct. Either "it has to fulfill" or "it has fulfilled". (I changed the tense because the first line is in present tense. Don't change tense within a stanza. Even I used to commit the same mistake often once).

I didn't get "gaping mulch" too.

"Sea gulls lurk", "A school of fish" - Grammar errors. Although I think 'Lurk cupidity on school...' isn't right too, 'lurk' just isn't the right verb. Replace it with something else.

'Spoils' - What do you refer to here? The gulls or the fish? Whatever, please add 'They' before 'Spoils'. Invisible 'I' and 'I related' pronouns isn't a good idea at any cost. 'I and I pronouns' really add to the effect, you might not wanna miss it. Again pronoun missing in the third line. 'Tempestuosly ply' isn't right. It's 'Tempestuous, ply' (You were supposedly using them as adjectives, right?) And 'Heckly' is not a word at all.

There's nothing wrong with the last stanza and I love it :)

Try to take my reviews to your head and not the heart. I didn't mean to hurt you, just making this good poem perfect. Hope you understand.

Keep writing.

[.]

"Through centuries in bout that gaping mulch
Churned by torrent waves no - hold - barred
Bludgeoning surges steadfastly found
Sharp ridges on skerries land"

{very expressive/i love the mood shift in the ending lines}

james:-)

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

I like the nordic trail you draw throughout the composition~ the descriptives visual layers of mesmerizing dual folds~ much enjoyed~ thank you`