Crimson Rays

Descriptive poem

Behold the light of sun anew

That light the morning, freshened by a morning dew

Some budding flowers bloom with delight

Welcomes the day with gleeful sight


Soon after that morning sun came

A spate of rain wring the flowers trunk

Far - flunged terror of perennial rain

Leaves flooding the river bank


A mighty force deterred the sword of damocles

Ordered the rainbow to flicker its light

Fierce image of night like sky

Soon shrouded by crimson rays


Into the dawn of night there is light

The flowers survived it with might

Albeit weary from the terror partaked

They splurged with the opus of crimson light


Within that chronicle of life behold

Is it a truth doubted by this doubtful mind

Through Deus' unfathomable way does he foretell

The flowers succumb to crimson rays

Reviews

[Joanna Maharis]

I like the way this poem appeals to the senses.

[Randolf Ramos]

It is the cycle of the day, same as the cycle of people's life, this poem was made in memory of my fellowmen who died on their due time

[Pikachu]

"A mighty force deterred the sword of damocles

Ordered the rainbow to flicker its light

Fierce image of night like sky

Soon shrouded by crimson rays"


favorite stanza right here the vivid image great write

[.]

the sun-the dew-the serenety
of nature's pressence shows
in this glowing poetic splendor!!!

I Love This!!!

james:-)

[Dinesh Sairam]

"Behold the light of sun anew
That light the morning, freshened by a morning dew
Some budding flowers bloom with delight
Welcomes the day with gleeful sight"

Correction - 'Which lights the morning, freshened by a morning dew' (Try not to repeat words, as I had already said. You can probably replace 'Morning dew' with 'Beautiful dew' or some adjective defining the dew). This great imagery my friend :) Very well done :)

"Soon after that morning sun came
A spate of rain wring the flowers trunk
Far - flunged terror of perennial rain
Leaves flooding the river bank"

The first line is in present tense, so should the whole stanza be. So, the second line must be 'A spate of rain wrung the flowers' trunk'. I wasn't comfortable with the last two lines, maybe just me.

"A mighty force deterred the sword of damocles
Ordered the rainbow to flicker its light
Fierce image of night like sky
Soon shrouded by crimson rays"

'Night like sky' can be bettered. Maybe "Vast dark sky" or something else. This again, if a favorite stanza of mine :) Well done mate :)

"Into the dawn of night there is light
The flowers survived it with might
Albeit weary from the terror partaked
They splurged with the opus of crimson light"

'Dawn of night' isn't correct too. There's only 'Dawn of day'.. :) Even in extreme conditions, 'Dawn of night' means 'beginning of night'. :) The second line was apparently forced. The last line was great though. :)

"Within that chronicle of life behold
Is it a truth doubted by this doubtful mind
Through Deus' unfathomable way does he foretell
The flowers succumb to crimson rays"

'Life behold' doesn't fit in here. Maybe 'Within that chronicle of life's behold' (But this is not audible much too). The middle two lines were below sublime, I have to say. The last line was good.

A nice poem once again. And this time, I lloved it a lot. This is probably the best poem from you I'm yet to read.

Keep writing.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

such a fascinating celestial trip of a solar crush against a world ain't ready for that kind of flare~ lovely construction and graceful form~

[Leanne Conway]

Beautiful. I love it.