Depression

the grips of depression

The bitter taste of morning mocks me.

Under the radiant magnification of the sun’s colorful beams,

bursting through the pre-dawn clouds, I feel so small --

insignificant.

 

Here, in the in-between, I wait with baited breath;

hoping the dawn might deliver more than its usual malcontent. 

But who would I be kidding? 

My prayers for salvation fall upon the deaf. 

I’m nothing but a pesky fly shoed away from God’s side. 

Today will be just like all the rest.

 

The sun has breached its crest, and my heart aches behind my breast. 

I feel like scrambled eggs stuck to this Petri dish they call life. 

No purpose, no meaning. 

Oh, how I hate the light.

If there is a God, please

Let me slink back into the night

where the darkness doesn’t mock the emptiness within, 

and welcomes those of us who are imperfect;

perfectly torn apart from within.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading. Reviews always welcome.

*Please don't worry friends, this was not written about me.

Reviews

[s y e]

Depression is never easy to get out. It's really serious once you begin to get depressed. Although, it's easy to become depressed, if you get what I mean. This was truthful write that really touched me, it was full of honesty and and some powerful images. Overall, powerful and a great, hard, sad read.

~ Noodle

[Kristin Lee]

Hard and sad read yes. Exactly what I was going for, cause that's what depression is. it's the monster that's destroyed my family. I know it all too well.

[s y e]

Awe, I'm sorry, love.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

This piece didn't read as specific to feelings of depression, I felt, though deep and conflicting, beautifully written, great work.

[Traci]

A very dark subject matter that affects so many. You've penned it perfectly, Kristin, capturing each emotion with such honesty, ones we can connect with. Whether we share the same religious beliefs or not depression is what it is, a devastating disease that ultimately cripples the individual and affects entire families. It destroyed my family too...

"Let me slink back into the night
where the darkness doesn't mock the emptiness within,
and welcomes those of us who are imperfect;
perfectly torn apart from within."

My favorite lines....

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you very much. Yes, depression is a universal subject. It pays no heed to religion, race, gender or creed. And it destroys everything in its path. I'm sorry your family was also affected by it. Even with all the medical advances it seems its never enough. What a cunning monster depression is proving to be...

[Astro]

"Let me slink back into the night
where the darkness doesn't mock the emptiness within,
and welcomes those of us who are imperfect;
perfectly torn apart from within."

Stellar. I may not share the religious views of the "Voice" in your poem but I can still identify with the emotions. That last part is excellent and what a wonderful ending to a great an misanthropic poem. You have a distinct quality to embody the soul of the tortured and pen it to the page. Well done.

[Kristin Lee]

Interesting that you pick out that religious tone...I wasn't necessarily going for any one religious aspect, expect to capture that when you are in this state of mind it feels like God or your gods is/are ignoring you. Your feel utterly isolated from everyone and everything. I think that's pretty universal. It's why my mom committed suicide, why I've talked several others out of it. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone. It's horrible to feel that alone. And if I'm honest, I've been there myself, even though this poem wasn't about me. I'm glad that you liked the poem, that part you highlighted was my favorite too.

[Astro]

I share the common bond of being a suicidal left-over, and champion of the light. Not always easy to talk about but makes for an excellent write.

[Frieda P]

Dark read as if there were clouds hanging over this one as I read it...just brings you deeper and deeper into that realization that there's no way out. Of course there is, for some anyway, but that's what depression feels like, and you've pen'd it perfectly here Kristin...great read!

[Kristin Lee]

ah depression, the wonderful, horrible cycle that sucks you in and spits you out forever changed. Thanks so much for your review Frieda, appreciate it :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I have written several pieces with similar feelings expressed. Being caught in this cycle can be a daunting experience for anyone to endure, but that is the good thing about time...it tends to keep marching forward and forces you along with it.

I enjoyed this one...had a good flow to it, save for a few extra long and extra short lines that tripped me up a little bit here and there, but overall I really enjoyed the read!

[Kristin Lee]

I think I threw organization out the window on this one because I wanted people to see how spastic a depressed mind is as well as feel the emotion behind it. But I agree it does need some revamping. Thanks as always for your input :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A very dark and tortured write. I think many of us have reached the depth at some time in our lives but a few keep going back or are stuck in the black hole. Depression is so pervasive of the soul.

[Kristin Lee]

It's one of those topics that even though its very prevalent still seems so taboo at times. While I have experienced it, I wasn't writing from that place today thankfully. But I can see how some of those emotions may have come through.

[Sami Khalil]

"The sun has breached its crest, and my heart aches behind my breast.

I feel like scrambled eggs stuck to this Petri dish they call life.

No purpose, no meaning.

Oh, how I hate the light.

If there is a God, Please"
A splendid read and write although on a dark subject matter...:)

[Kristin Lee]

Thanks Sami. Yes, depression is a dark subject, but it affects so many.

[Sami Khalil]

True...You are welcome...:)