Premonition

A dream shows what's to come

Through the groggy haze of night

Red flashing numbers stand frozen

Like a demonic light

This tranquility that’s wrapped my body

Like a glove is so addictive

I could be in love

The rush feels better than any pills

It’s hard to discern

What’s dream and what’s real

 

Falling through the looking glass

I’ve slipped right past Alice

And her frivolous rabbit of the past

They were guarding a gate

But I didn’t mind

I can see what’s coming

It’s all here in my mind

 

I never should have come here

The futures all too clear

If I can’t save you

My heart will disappear

 

I’ve got to warn you…

So I reach for you

Pleading with my soul

           

“There are monsters

lurking in that water

            Whatever you do…

            DON’T GET IN!”

 

That’s the dastardly thing

About premonitions

They’ll let you watch

But try as you may

They won’t let you in

 

Through the groggy haze of night

I wake screaming

Drenched in fright

Author's Note

Thanks for reading, reviews welcome.

Reviews

[Astro]

Here is my critique and I will follow with my review. Firstly, there is a spelling error at the beginning of line 13 where "The" should be "They". Also, I felt because of the on again off again rhyme scheme that the metaphor of tranquility wrapping itself about you would seem more appropriate if the word "glove" was changed to something like "sheet/s". This is only because gloves have a fit, but aren't actually wrapped.
On the review side, I like it, odd format and all. Because of it's subject matter and use of classic imagery to explain something so fringe. Like it's style which lurks and falls and appears strange, so to are premonitions for we rarely, know that we are privy to them when we first encounter them.
"That’s the dastardly thing
About premonitions
They’ll let you watch
But try as you may
They won’t let you in"

[Kristin Lee]

Good eye :) Thanks for the catch, funny that it would be in line 13. Unlucky me. I can see where the glove reference would throw some people. But that was the point. Rhyme or not to rhyme, sense or non-sense. Dreams, premonition or not are so rarely straight forward. I wanted to capture that fluctuating sense of environment and keep readers on their toes.

[Astro]

Cheeky minx, my soles were lifted the whole time.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Supernatural dreams and those with significant meanings and premonitions can stay with us for life, I think. Your poem describes reactions, content, and emotional and physiological components very cleverly, great writing.

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you as always for stopping by and for the great feedback. I really appreciate it.

[Onku Ghosh]

Very good work!! I especially like the lines"It's hard to discern.......what's real" you've also described premonition so aptly "there are monsters.......don't get in"

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you very much. I like those lines too :)

[Raven Cedrone]

The mysteries behind our premonitions. What a wonderful, intriguing write Kristen. I found myself hooked to every line as I was reading along.

~Raven

[Kristin Lee]

Thanks Raven, I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

[Keith LaFountaine]

Dreams are such strange things, it's hard to actually get a grasp on their meanings (if any). I personally have never experienced any premonitions and deja vu, but I've always wondered what it would be like. Excellent work!

[Kristin Lee]

Thanks so much Keith. Dreams are very strange indeed.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A slightly tongue in cheek feel to this one but very readable. You used 'mind' to rhyme with 'mind' in the second stanza!

[Kristin Lee]

That I did lol. I don't know that I was even intending to rhyme when I wrote it. Thanks for the feedback :)

[Angi]

I have had this happen and then come true. Wierd, little things. Still, it shakes you. I wonder how much we don't know, what are our minds capable of if we could tap into all that power. Chilling thoughts, Kristin! Angi~

[Frieda P]

Sounds like one of those dreams that you know should resonate within you but you can't quite figure it out, always feels as though I'm on the verge of some type of eye-opening discovery but it hardly ever jells, I like this little trip into your dream. Nice one Kristin.

[B-poet]

Very interesting indeed. You've illustrated a rare premonition in the making. Great job. :)

[Rita L. Sev]

Falling through the looking glass
I’ve slipped right past Alice...

Really like this. A dark and chilling precognition, I can feel your monster, though I cannot see him. Great write.