My Solemn Vow

I’ll whisper to you my most solemn vow

The over exertion of a beating heart

Is a dangerously self-imposed condition

Its erratic rhythms were specifically designed

To invoke the mayhem found in the devils

Darkest inhibitions.

 

Being born in posession of a rare golden heart

Is both Gods only blessing

And a truly vile curse;

The duality that fights within my life

Renders the only cure

But before I cry

I beg to know,

“At what price must this lie?”

 

Before it all ends,

To you I will whisper

My most solemn vow

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do.”

And that will be my cross to bear,

as I watch the Devil devour you.

 

Since we are not in Heaven

I cannot be your saving grace;

I am no angel after all,

And truth be told, God,

He seems to hate this place.

 

Though I’d like to take your pain away

I cannot make you happy

My golden heart was never yours to own

To look at yours, black and breaking

Well maybe, just maybe...

You should have loved

The bottle a little less.

 

I will live with the consequences

Of all that I have witnessed

But through the darkness you will find,

Trust in one thing

 

When we meet again

It will be my hand

That plunges from Heaven

Into the pit of Hell;

To reap the soul the Devil stole

Restoring honor

To my solemn vow.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading. Reviews always welcome.

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Well Kirsten,
This sounds like the protagonist is in a relationship with someone struggling with themselves and turning to drink and ruining it all. The protagonist does not want it to end but feels she has no choice but would give him another chance. Nice piece

[Kristin Lee]

Defeinitely a protagonist situation but not a romantic one. And way more to the story than poem could ever tell. Without my mom in the picture, I am kind of the matriarch of the family, wich is so backwards and inside out since I am the youngest, that its not even funny. I personally am not attached to this piece but wanted to get feed back on it cause I've had some writers block with my current stuff and this one was one them. Thanks for taking the time, I appreciate it :)

[rhythm&blues]

Bittersweet, read as though a cathartic write. Beautiful executed.

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you. It was a bit cathartic :)

[Angi]

I watched my dad reach for the bottle over and over and over. I felt so helpless then. I now realise there truly was nothing I could have done and I forgave myself. Those were his demons to entertain. I wish I would have known that all along. Angi~

[Kristin Lee]

Though I prefer he never know it, this was written for my Dad. He's a former alcoholic, but the damage has already been done. And as much as my mother would have liked to see me save him...even asked me to with her last breath...it's not my job, never was. Took me a long time to realize that.

[Angi]

I really felt this piece. So hard. Even harder when it's someone you love.

[Raven Cedrone]

I am amazed with this poem. The tale you told of the struggle for one as the other is trying to help was beautiful. I personally loved it.

~Raven

[Kristin Lee]

Aww, thank you very much :)

[Astro]

Mrrrrowr! Wouldn't want to be the devil on that day Miss K. "There's nothing I wouldn't do" makes me think someone would never be boring to be around. There is a nice narrative that flows well throughout with broken hearts and grand intentions, this one will get an honorable mention.

[Kristin Lee]

Definitely never boring lol. Was trying to express some family drama, not romantic and it didn't come out right...which is why I wanted feedback. I personally think this piece sucks, lol. But I really appreciate you feedback so that I can improve upon it and hopefully sculpt it into something I actually like.

[Astro]

Oh you didn't fail in conveying expression, even if you missed the mark you set for yourself, you created a something with emotion.

[Jack...]

Kristin, this carries a very beautiful sentiment and follows the path of a good heart. Very nice story within this fine poem.

[Kristin Lee]

Thanks Jack. I have a topic I'm really struggling with expressing and this just kinda came out. Personally I think it's crap. But I put it on here to see what other people think :) That's how you grow as a writer right?