The Sliding Glass Door

A child witnesses suicide.

As I approach the sliding glass door

Fear creeps over me

The lack of sound from within the room

Produces a shudder of terror that rapes the inside of me

 

As I approach the sliding glass door

I already know what I’m going to find

My dream already revealed your plot

To steal my happiness and replace it with meaningless longings

 

As I approach the sliding glass door

I may be all knowing but I am unprepared

On this day, I stand alone

A child, no more

 

I caught a glimpse of you through the sliding glass door

I’ve been trying to warn someone

But no one will hear a child

I’ve no choice but to watch in morbid fascination

 

As  

You 

Check  

Out

 

Finally I’m allowed to open the sliding glass door

You look so peaceful

I wish they’d all stop screaming

They might wake you up

Author's Note

Thanks for reading! Reviews are welcome :)

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Such a surreal and somber piece. The power of this one is so tangible that you can taste it. The idea of walking into something like that and figuring out how to feel...heavy stuff. So, you get the highest marks for the choice of subject and how you tackled it.

As few little things...you have some tense issues. For example, in the first two lines, you "approached" the door so fear should have "crept" over you... Little things like that, but overall, well tackled!

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you! It helps to have a second set of eyes. I've been revamping old work and after a while all the words run together. I had edited for tense a few times as I went back and forth on what I wanted to do with it, but I got distracted.

[s y e]

We, this was a very tense write, had me on the edge of my seat from the beginning, I was wondering if I should scroll down or not, haha. You had the emotions spot on, I know as a reader, I was very hooked in the piece. The thought of walking into something like that is very horrifying but it does happen but getting the emotion that spot on is a bonus, so kudos to you!

[Kristin Lee]

Thanks. It was hard not to know the emotions behind that piece. I was the child.

[s y e]

Oh my God, really? Wow, that shocked me to the core. I'm sorry, hon.

[Rita L. Sev]

So sad, so well described, this sorrow through a child's eyes. This is a wonderful piece, for its honesty and emotion. Thank you for sharing this.

[Kristin Lee]

You're very welcome. Thank you for reading :)

[SHEEMA HUQ]

I felt so moved by this harrowing tale , thank you for sharing this Kristin

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you for reading :)

[ChemicalMadness]

Perhaps no statement more honest than "I stand alone". It's a simple statement, but it says so much. Visiting and revisiting this as often as you must, it must seem somewhat cathartic to get it out on paper, but I can see feeling you've never really done it right. I will tell you this, as it is my own feeling and what you brought forth from me, through your words....you did it right. This is deeply personal and unquestionably powerful. Thank you for sharing with the rest of us.

CM.

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you very much for the reassurance. I think because my thoughts change on the subject often, that's why I feel I never get it quite right. But I'm glad to know that others feel the power behind this and that it feels right to them. That's what's important to me. Thank you.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

What a terrible tableau for a child to discover. But having hovered over the sharp end of death I understand your mother could see no way out. The fact you are able to write this is testament to your resilience and I hope you are now exorcised of the demon. This is a well written, evocative and poignant poem.

[Kristin Lee]

Belive me, I understand too. I've been in her shoes. Perhaps that's why I've moved towards forgiveness. I don't think I'll ever be exorcised of that particular demon. I was the one who found her and I knew something was wrong before we left her but no one would listen. The experience very much created a part of who I am. But, part of being resilant is turining our curses/demons inside out. Making them work for us instead of controlling us.

I'm glad you like the read. Thank you very much for your kinds words of understanding.

[Frieda P]

I can hardly review this one, I had chills all through the read, I live within these words, not as a child, but nonetheless, the agony is still the same. Shocking, and extremely affecting, I can't say more...

[Kristin Lee]

I compeletely understand. Thank you so much for reading. Suicide is such a hard thing. People never understand that suicide is not a victimless crime. It's a crime where everyone left behind becomes the victim. It's been 23 years this fall... and I still graple with that at times. All the things she's missed, all the things she will never see. This was first time I've really been able to write about it with purpose and not feel like a blithering idiot. Doesn't mean I love my mom any less, or miss her any less. But it gives me hope that maybe, just maybe I'm finally finding peace. I wish the same for you some day. Thought I know it's hard.

[Frieda P]

You own every last one of my tears right at this moment....my heart goes out to you, no, it never ends for those of us left behind. Thank you for sharing this.

[Angi]

Kristin, the description of this happening made the hair stand up on my neck. 'as you check out' and the last stanza. Wow.

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you very much! It's always been a tough subject but I finally felt free enough to write about it. I guess that's what they call healing.

[Angi]

It is! Keep writing, it helps! I wrote 2 pieces dealing with my anger at my fathers wasted life, 'Whiskey' (only 4 lines, but what a punch to my gut when I wrote it) 'In a different life' (About my regrets with him and other life crap) I do feel lighter after writing them. Almost like I was talking to my dad when I wrote them. If that makes sense. Anyway, I am sorry you had to go through something like that. Sending you good vibes, girl!

[Jack...]

Eerie, this really makes you think and reinvites a fear of sliding glass doors at night. very cool.

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you, I only wish it were at night....

[icelandicblue]

What a haunting piece of writing. That ending was absolutely unexpected! That was a masterful stroke. I adored this line:

To steal my happiness and replace it with meaningless longings

They are the thieves in the night and the stuff of nightmares.

[Kristin Lee]

It truly is the stuff of nightmares. Thank you for such praise.