Rise up Rise up!!!!

A poem from the core of my heart

Time comes when you just cry and cry ,

At that time you should tell yourself to again and again try.

Every diamond was earlier a coal ,

Do not limit yourself to just one role.

Rise up, rise up whenever you fall ,

those who demoralize you, you have to show them all.

when everything you possess ,

life appears like a bed of roses.

you have everyone as your friend ,

and happiness becomes your trend.

But when you are enveloped by problems,

you understand that on this bed of life there are more thorns than petals.

fair - weather friends are discovered.

true friends are the one who always cared.

Every dusk is followed by a dawn ,

Every autumn is followed by a spring.

Thus every failure is followed by success.

Courage is not to be shown ,

when it is easy to show.

Brave is not the one who moves from light to light ,

but the one who moves from dark to light.

Rise up , Rise up whenever you fall

Those who demoralize you , you have to show them all !!!!!!!

Author's Note

Kindly review my poem and tell me how you felt after you read it...

Reviews

[Random]

"Every diamond was earlier a coal." I like the fact that the diamond message has been used a lot by many yet you made it beautiful that I felt the message of it in new way. The whole poem was inspiring and heart felting.

[Riddhi]

Thank you...If you wish you can try reviewing my ither writings too...Thanks again for your review..

[Riddhi]

Sorry by mistake i wrote ither i meant other

[Anjali]

Wow... So empowering! I absolutely loved it. It is so well written! Beautiful! The examples you have given are just so creative.

[Riddhi]

Thanks Anjali..if you wish you can review my other writings also...Thanks again for your review...

[Anjali]

Sure! You are welcome!!

[C_theSurrealist]

This is very motivational poem as it seems and it catches the heart of a reader. Even though you are young yet you have a big potential. Keep writing!!

[Riddhi]

Thanks for your review...I am happy that you liked it...

[William Liston]

This poem has such a strong message, and many people in this world (including myself at times) need to take the advice it gives. In our darkest days, we must remember that there are better times ahead. This made me feel inspired and optimistic after I read it. It's good to know that someone such as yourself is out there trying to send out positive vibes. We need more of that.

If I may critique, I feel like the rhyming and flow could be improved by changing the lenght and/or wording of some lines.

The second line, for example, would flow better if it were worded as follows: "At that time, you should tell yourself to try."

Line six would flow better if you wrote "Those who hurt you -- show them all."

Those are just a few examples. If you wanted to improve the flow of this piece as a whole, I'd suggest making sure each rhyming line is almost the same length.

Also, I'd like to see you try unrhyming poetry ... I think it would fit with the strong, expressive, almost converational tone that I see in your poems.

Thank you for sharing your work.

- William Liston

[Riddhi]

Thank you william and yes i will surely try unrhyming poetry also and thank you for spending your precious time in reading my poem....

[zunie frost]

Rise up , Rise up whenever you fall
Those who demoralize you , you have to show them all !!!!!!!
ending is really beautiful ..
i love reading it

[Riddhi]

Thanks for your kind words....

[poeatree]

How old are you? In 3 years times rewrite this poem, I want too see your growth of life so rewrite it not as is but write it with same ideal process, which your words will describe a different better understanding hopefully.

[Riddhi]

I am 15 years old and definitely i will do as you said but when i will write this poem don't forget to review this poem after 3 years!!!!

[Arooj Purra]

hey ! it was really inspiring one ....

[Riddhi]

Thank you....

[Mira]

I liked your overall theme of the poem. It remained strong throughout, your rhyming pattern was very Impressive! You had many moods In the poem, I really liked that.
And, hey, is it too much to ask if you could review my latest, most wildest piece, 'Letters to Rachel' And maybe review it? There'll be many more letters to come :)
Anyways, Thank you for sharing!

Regards with Infinite love.

[Riddhi]

Thanks for spending your precious time in reading my poem...I will definitely try to review your writings.....

[Davidgeo]

Put a comma between 'again' and 'try' in the 2nd line...

It'll help I swear.

[Riddhi]

Thanks for reviewing...I will try to follow your advice....

[Davidgeo]

"Do. Or do not. There is no try"
Yoda

[JayG]

You asked how the reader felt after reading, but there's a more important issue that needs to be addressed before that. At the moment, you're focused in making it rhyme, and forcing the line to the rhyme, without taking into account prosody, stressed syllables or the rest of the things that make structured poetry what it is. So instead of, as they say, flowing trippingly from the tongue, it stumbles a bit.

Take a look at the excerpt for Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled, on Amazon, for a really good introduction to the joys of creating structured poetry that sings.

And take a look at Robert W. Service's, The Cremation of Sam McGee.You can find it online. Look at how the structure and word choice works to create a booming beat, and background fee[ that adds to the drama. That poem was written over 100 years ago, and even today has the power to get the reader keeping time by tapping their feet as if to song.

[Riddhi]

Thanks for spending your precious time in reviewing my poem...I will definitely try to follow your suggestions....