My Apologies

 

As I am,
here,
now,
at this exact moment,
is the woman I am to be:
with minor modifications accordingly.

So I introduce me to you.
Kori.
With a 'k'
o-r-i,
not a 'y'.

I am me.
Humbly.
Born in Jamaica,
migrated to the USA,
with Ricketts blood in my veins.

Many are angered for they could not imagine,
that in some way or fashion
that I would one day for see my life
past the fallacies they fed to me.

The false pride and dignity to retain
a name mimicking a disease.
Appalled?
Don't be.
For this is me.

Stirring your thoughts,
brewing your uncomforts,
forcing you to see past what you see.
Me.

Kori.
With a 'k'
o-r-i,
not a 'y'.

It makes you cringe to see me.
Watch me.
Undress every woman that walks by.
As I look into her eyes wondering where her intellect lies,
you accuse me of wanting to only spread her thighs.
Sodomy.
My sexuality is not me, I, we.
Take whatever you need to from me to make you,
you.
And we,
we.

Because at the end of the day I am still me.

Kori.
With a 'k'
o-r-i,
not a 'y'

Intellectually,
Stubbornly,
Honestly,
Blatantly.

With a lack of street smarts,
or financial struggles,
because my mother worked to keep them from me.

91 hours a week.
So calculate your payroll and refund me.
For nights spent alone while she fended her family.
Hiding her own secrets and inequities.
Working for two ungreatful seeds praying they will see in themselves what she sees.
Longing for the day that she will be compensated spiritually for all she gave materially,
so her two b*****d children could live blissfully. And I am her result.

Kori.
With a 'k'
o-r-i,
not a 'y'.

I apologize for your ignorance and insecurities.
I apologize for your indiscretions and bullshit fallacies,
that only you believe.

I live intellectually so my mother knows that there was a purpose for all she sacrificed for me.

I apologize.
That I've only been in love once and though I think it has once again crept up on me I'm not sure of her because she's not sure of me,
leaving love still a fallacy,
and my love meter still at 1.

Judge only by half of what you see, none of what you hear,
because the love I posses is not human.
But divine.
So I am not surprised that you do not understand why stayed so long,
and,
just now decided to leave
when she was ready to be for me what I was for her...
Rack your brain not to figure out if I knew about her double life,
because I did.
But I judge her not for her actions or inequities,
because,
I loved her unconditionally.
And maybe one day we can be friends.
But,
until then, I am me.

Kori.
With a 'k'
o-r-i,
not a 'y'.

Heavily,
I ask you to see me, I , we
without violence or bias.
See past my sexuality, your version of morality, and your own insecurities.

I apologize if I have caused you to think outside of that box of sanity where your comfort lies.

So the next time someone ask you if you know me...
Say...

'Yes!
That’s
Kori.
With a 'k'
o-r-i,
not a 'y'.

 

Kori Ricketts

Reviews

[REALIZE]

Hello Kori.With a 'k' o-r-i, not a 'y'. a fellow yardie eh. Wha gwan love? I enjoyed your poem. Though it apologizes, it was unapologetic for the negligence of others and those whom chose not to understand. You also convey how vulnerable you feel in the line,

"That I've only been in love once and though I think it has once again crept up on me I'm not sure of her because she's not sure of me,"
It was a good read and it brung a good flow as well.