God

Mom sits across from me. My feet dangle above the ground below where I sit; I swing them thoughtfully. She smiles at me and I look away, uncomfortable. Where we sit is outdoors, at a metal table lamenated with green plastic; we are at a park by the lake. The sun brightens a blue, cloud-splotched sky. I stare at the grass often, amused by how it dances in the wind. People are around us, using the park in different ways. This is a visit. Mom visits me because mom left dad and I, about a year ago. Dad told me mom left to, "find god." I do not know what god is. I felt it... the feeling that always came before I had to ask a question. It was common for me, Jason, to ask questions. I was a child who asked many questions, about anything, everything; how else to stop that uneasy feeling that came when I was curious? I asked mom, then, at the table; after I had thought about why we were here, now, visiting, "is god more important to you than me?" and mom stopped smiling. I was an observant toddler, I knew a change, looking like that, caused by my words, it definitely meant something significant; being also empathetic, I felt what mom felt, even it I couldn't understand it; seeking understanding became much like drinking an emotional cocktail I was neither prepared for or able to digest easily "Well, yes," she said reluctantly. She tried to expound, but I was unable to listen, it felt like the world spun and my upset stomach needed all attention I had to give.

Author's Note

This really happened to me. It is part of why I never bought into the 'God' concept or any of the religious institutions that built upon 'It' as foundation... not to mention father is agnostic...

Reviews

[justjenn_2u]

Please forgive me for calling you Jason. My bad!!!!

[justjenn_2u]

Out of the mouth of babes. You remind me how children understand more than we think they do. You were able to tell a detailed story without using too many words. Good write, Jason.

Thanks for sharing.

[THE BLACK SEAL]

oh my god. you actually reviewed my works and called them crap and this is the best you have to offer. i will qoute my favorite musician Frank Zappa next.
maybe you should stay with your mama. you are really kind of stupid and ugly too.
maybe you should stay with your mama, she could do your laundry and cook for you

so run home to mama boy and quite trying to pretend you are something you are not

[Imperfection]

This is the first time I've come across your page and have gone through almost all of your writings already.
This one is my favorite. I went back to your bio afterwards to understand this one better. It takes a lot of strength to be able to write this way when the past has been so difficult. That is a quality I admire very much, Jason.

I think you're extremely talented. Looking forward to reading more of you.

[justjenn_2u]

You have a panoramic view on life issues. I see that you have been through a lot and I always admire the strength from someone that has seen more in the vengeful world. I am drawn to writers that haven't had a candid life and your words are meaningful.

[dEj]

an honest expression will always let a work rise to it's fullest potential. This is so incredibly honest and moving even the scarred old warrior is moved to tears. As with all art, it is not what you write so much as what we read and feel that lends the greatest worth. You have a great future in your first hand expressions.

namaste, david

it is a shame so many put god before others, for if they wish to kow him, it is as simple as coming to grips with the reality, that we find Him in those we love. After all my young friend, we are all simply Another Part of God.

[yinseriv]

I love the line, "I felt it..." I read within that the thought that 'God' might be within the question for the young writer. The ending was near perfect for this piece.