take me away

take me away,

to a special place.

where i can be free.

lay back.

feel the breeze.

birds sing through the trees.

and i'm at ease.

no better weather.

no need for a sweater.

take me away,

and i will feel better.

Reviews

[Q]

Wonderful imagery and I love the sentiment (I can definitely relate). I can almost hear the birds and feel the breeze.

[luvingu01]

i know what it feels like to want to be taken away...i love this poem..it relocates my being...

[koty bell]

ya i was going for a creative happy poem when i wrote this:)

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

I am waiting to be taken away into a place where I'll feel better. (Heaven) (:
Great job on this relaxing poem!

[October Oblivion]

You took me away to my lost reality, in the depths of my dream land. Great job. *smiles*

[Southern Cross]

Throw in a good book and I'm there..nice flow ..

[Geraldine]

Take me away then . . . haha so beautifully written and indeed relaxing. :D

[The Girl with the smile]

Beautifully written! This poem takes me to a relaxing place where times were simpler. It made me smile.

[Ashley June Canfield]

I agree with "justice"

[justice]

Okay, the opening reminded me of a Natasha Bedingfield (sp?) song. haha. Pocket Full of Sunshine is not exactly my favorite song... That being said, this is a nice short poem. It is a little fugacious though. I was hoping for more. I like what you have going on here, the capture of a feeling. We all can relate and that is a great sign for a poem. However, some of the lines are just a little too cliche. The title, for starters, is just WAY overplayed. I think of a song that got old, so I instantly do not give this poem a chance. It is tied to that song... Also, L9 is absolutely superfluous. I would suggest cutting it. It seems to be there to rhyme. It needs to have a purpose. Perhaps it does and I am missing it, I dunno. haha. I am tired and I fear I am being a little too blunt. I am sorry. I am just trying to give some advice to help this poem. Do not take anything I say too personally. It is a good poem, but I think it can be better. Well, my rant has lingered much too long, so I bid thee farewell. Keep on writing.
J