Death and Birth

A by Koeseki

I became an act to reach for love. I wanted it so badly, I had given myself up. I would play the prince, play my colors. I would be another being. A doll, pre-programmed in a mannerism designed for the world. I lied and performed a dancing marionette. For the love of others, I killed myself.

I have gained that love.

Why then does my loneliness grow? Were is the love I have gained? It is lost on another person, a puppet of my body, orchestrated by myself. The love is flat. It is empty. They do not give more love than they would their toy. Can you blame them?

The smoldering red inside me shall smother no more. Like a starving flame i have died. I cannot recover. Therefore, I must be reborn. I have lost who i used to be. To be lost, I will be no more. The red comes forth; i do not have to nurture it. It bursts in a brilliance I've never seen before. Like a breaking damn, I am born.

LOVE
It was all I desired. The desire is all that is left of who i was. All that is left. The new person is born from there. It is a being of love. It is not love for me any more. "Oh I F***ING LOVE YOU," is my hearts cry. 'Tis now my life. I live for love, to love, and to be loved. Give your heart, all your heart. Do not hate, just love. Means so much more than any of this material world. Love I give, is received and grows. Through one life to the next and back to me. This thing called Love overwhelms me. I've never felt so good.