Sepulture's Voice of Life Devoid

Take your stamp of validity and be gone with your stupidity!

Go fake the feasibility of your rotten sensibility-

the molten blade of trinity; slashing, guides you through infinity....

You ponder your insanity with a dash of insecurity.

Now watch it rain on the city, you're feeling smart and feeling witty.

And so it rains, so it pours and everything is gritty.

 

You faltered at the door of red, sobbing, sighing those tears of dread!

You can't shake the thoughts in your head and keep on wishing you were dead...

Emaciated, call for bread, yet you rot away in your bed-

with thin skin, heavy bones of lead; your voice cracked and strained as you said;

"Upon the 'morrow she will wed, not a tear shall I ever shed..."

So swept the gloom, from the hills of doom, be wary where you tread.

 

Now fade into the deep darkness, your heart is dead inside your chest!

Suddenly now, you digress; ensembled in your Sunday's best...

Your memories, a life you bless, the sunlight's stolen in the west...

You got yourself in quite a mess; your living soul has failed the test-

where to go is anyone's guess, you fell into the demon's nest.

Rising fires of hell; ring molten notes, silence molest.

 

Enjoy the view from the Lethe shore, you've no idea what's in store!

The Reaper, he is such a bore; Grim is evil down to the core...

Those thoughts of her you can't ignore, emotions you no longer pour.

Forgotten is the face you wore, your body's melted to the floor...

Dare to ask for the river tour, but be wary of every door.

Nothing may remain in ruin, sit down and enjoy the war.

 

 

Author's Note

Decided to challenge myself in this one... The intense internal rhyme scheme and octo syllabic measures (except for the 6th line in each stanza) were modeled after "The Raven." I didn't use Poe's abcddd scheme, I decided to go a straight through. The result was a rhyme scheme that turned sort of sickening towards the end of each stanza, and it may give you a headache... lol... Experimenting with poetry is so much fun!

Reviews

[Emily Rose]

Argh, I'm so jealous! I've tried so many times to write something modelled after "The Raven" and my skill just isn't equal to it. You really take control of the rhyme, though, and you do a great job! It's a testement to how wonderfully you can craft things if you can do this just as an experiment! I will admit that some of the rhymes seems a bit forced or out of place, but that's kind of expected in this sort of project. Also, I had a bit of a hard time following the story. Was there some sort of coherent plot to the poem, or was it just about some guy that's been doing horrible things? The darkness certainly echoes Poe's! Great job!

[M Slaughter]

That has an insane amount of rhymes..it makes it very, very interesting to read. Almost hypnotizing...
I really like this.

[Larissa G.]

Oddly enough I like this, and I am not a fan of rhyme in almost all cases. It has a vivid and course texture to it and its diction doesn't restrain it in any form. It lets it loose. Well done indeed.

[yinseriv]

There are very few poems I have read on this site that could be considered equal to this work. None that would be better. The crafting of this poem is outstanding. It may very well have given the Author a headache to compose, but the reading is seamless and flawless. The content of this poem from the title to the last stanza was gripping and intense. I am embarassed to offer this review. The words I write pale from the power evoked by J. James Reider's offering.

Writing at this excellent level requires a lot of skill and craft, both of which you have well presented in this piece, yet still able to well impart your message.

This is good stuff, and you are one of the best writers here who can pull it off.

A wonderful piece.

[Mark D. Chevalier]

"Now fade into the deep darkness, your heart is dead inside your chest!
Suddenly now, you digress; ensembled in your Sunday's best..."

Love that line, worthy of Poe. A deeply dark piece of poetry. I can certainly respect that.

Nicely done.
Mark