Fireworks

Fireworks.

Lighting up the sky;

lighting up my heart.

Blue

Red

White

Fireworks.

 

Walking with her in the rain,

carefree, without any bane.

On this warm July night,

in her presence, ever so slight.

 

Fireworks.

A kind I'll never forget;

I hope she won't ever forget.

I still see

the lights in her eyes

the reflections of

Fireworks.

While she looks up at me.

 

Though a dream may be a dream,

we still have each other.

And that dream can ever so seem,

that we were meant for one another.

 

Fireworks.

In the rain.

Where she'll kiss

away my pain.

Whether they were there or not,

we were;

we were there,

together for an instant,

in the rain

beneath the

fireworks.

 

And when we kissed,

the world did stop.

I would be remissed,

if I didn't say I cared for her.

So with the whistling,

banging,

cracking,

popping,

sizzling,

fireworks;

my heart was beating,

pumping,

throbbing,

jumping,

flittering,

in tune with hers.

If only for an instant.

No better way,

to spend a Friday night...

Then with her,

beneath the fireworks.

 

And while we share

the same amber moon

and spend our days

beneath the same blazing sun

from many miles away

we are never farther apart

than a heartbeat.

 

And if not for a dream,

about fireworks,

in the rain,

with her,

only her;

then the rain would seem damp,

the fireworks loud,

and the dream empty.

 

But she was there,

as I suppose she always will be,

awaiting the time she will spend,

and the day she will visit me.

 

Fireworks.

Loud and clear.

Fireworks.

Sparked by a kiss.

 

Reviews

[Larissa G.]

Aw. I loved it. My two complaints:

-The word fireworks was repeated a bit often to appreciate, can you replace a few of them somehow?

- the lines:
"in the rain
beneath the
fireworks."

These especially jumped at at me as choppy. Make the last two one line, and the flow would improve. I think that happened a couple times.

Still, it was a fantastic poem and I adored it. Thanks for sharing it so much and reminding us of some of our favorite memories, not always on the holiday but always important to remember.

[Seriana]

This is quite charming and delightful. I had a goofy smile on my face whilst reading it. I liked the playful nature and free-verse you brought to it. Makes me want to go have a daydream now or something. Wonderful write. :)

VC5

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

I liked this piece, I thought that you repeted words alittle too much but it was still a good poem. Your phrases were very good. Some where alittle choppy but still some how it seemed to work. It was a good poem with some great images in it. Great Job!

[cyanskye]

Very nice. I have to disagree with the following review: I like the repitition of the word Fireworks. It evokes the impression not only of the lights in the sky but the spark between two people. You presented several great phrases as well, giving the poem a bittersweet feel.
C

[Fran Marie]

Fireworks.

In the rain.

Where she'll kiss

away my pain.

Whether they were there or not,

we were;

we were there,

together for an instant,

in the rain

beneath the

fireworks.

Oh This is good! filled with intense passion if only for the moment~ The repetition here adds strength
intensifying the emotions, relaying to the reader the deep feelings~ making your own fireworks~ regardless
a very nice displayed piece here~Quite nicely done~THanks for sharing in the Love SHack contest~

Fran Marie

[Becca]

Here's that line I was talking about-
I would be remissed,
if I didn't say I cared for her.

You captured something here. I think it is beautiful.

[Rainbowco]

Lovely

[April Child]

I hope this is a true event because it is just beautiful. The love and longing speaks loud and clear and I like the sounds to accompany the descriptions of the fireworks, gives the poem life .

I still see
the lights in her eyes
the reflections of
Fireworks.
While she looks up at me.

Enjoyed getting lost in your fireworks this morning. Thank you.

[Pj]

Aww...This is so cute! A fantastic write.
Loved the lines:
"Fireworks.
In the rain.
Where she'll kiss
away my pain."
Absolutely gorgeous and the use of the fireworks in self was mind blowing...love is a fantastic feeling and boy were you feeling it, as evident by:
"So with the whistling,
banging,
cracking,
popping,
sizzling,
fireworks;
my heart was beating,
pumping,
throbbing,
jumping,
flittering,
in tune with hers." :D

A great poem!

[HoorayForUnderdog]

Hi Jeff
The way you formatted this poem, each section almost looks like an explosion of fireworks! I like the romantic sadness in this poem and the little bit of hope at the end.

[Asha Raphael]

i've read it like a million times but still i can't find any words to say; this feeling is larger than words! i close my eyes and i can feel every word; all i can say is that i'm really honored!

"Though a dream may be a dream,
we still have each other." ..... always and forever :)