Last Dance

Revised and edited. Special thanks to St. Violet the Enigma for her help!

 

 

 

Winfred High, Senior Prom- 1969

 

The theme of this year's senior prom was "Give Peace a Chance."  The color trend was in light pastels, so that made for a pretty colorful dance floor.  The prom was being held in the Ramada Inn ballroom in Cincinnati, Ohio.  I distinctly remember the beautiful job the senior class did in decorating the venue. 

 

I was only a junior in high school and lucky enough to have been invited by a senior named Marrissa Jenkins.  Most of my friends were seniors, so I was having a wonderful time.  The King and Queen were just announced.  To no one's surprise they were John Haverly and Tina Williams, who had been a couple since the sixth grade.  They were one of the few couples who were actually engaged while still in high school.  It helped that John came from a wealthy family, but he was so down to earth that it was hard to tell that he was well off.  The experience of years tells me that those types of marriages don't always work. Tragically, John and Tina never had a chance to find out.

 

I remember their King and Queen dance.  Frankie Valli singing Can't Take My Eyes off You, the look in their eyes during that dance was the most memorable thing.  These two people knew what love was.  Everyone else was just pretending to know, but John and Tina seemed to be in together on some sort of mysterious, blissful secret.  From the moment the song started with "You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off you," the room stopped and watched these two souls dance.  Something in the air, something in the atmosphere, either or, everything seemed perfect. 

 

After their initial dance, John approached me and the group of guys I was talking to.  One of those guys was Sam Donovin, a cocky, arrogant snob with a boorish attitude.  Sam was known to be a drinker, and the prom was no reason for him not to drink.  He smuggled a flask into the dance and was already tipsy to say the least.  He was dating Emily Johnson, a rather popular girl who could have dated anyone at Winfred High School.  She continued to dumbfound her friends and date this slacker, who always seemed to treat her like crap.  As John opened his mouth to say something, Sam slurred "Gonna nail Tina to the wall tonight?"

 

Needless to say, the other guys and I were stunned.  John, however, responded effortlessly "Nail?  Wow! I think you've had a little much to drink.  Emily's looking for you." 

 

Sam sauntered off looking for Emily.  "Thanks for getting rid of him for us."  I said. 

 

"I wasn't getting rid of him, she really does want to see him.  I think she is upset with his drinking, she might end it."

 

"Really?  It's about time.  You and Tina really looked good dancing out there together."  I said, nodding to the dance floor.  "Like you were meant for each other."

 

"It feels that way.  I could never imagine being with anyone else."  The last part of this phrase was a little muffled as Sam came storming past, bright red in the face.  He ran out the ballroom doors and into the parking lot. "Must'nt have gone so well, better go check on Em."

 

He didn't need to; Emily came over to us in tears.  "It's over.  It's finally over and I don't know why I waited so long."  I couldn't tell if they were sorrowful tears, tears of joy or tears of relief.  "He's going home.  So he says, I doubt he is.  Probably going for more liquor, he'll be back, that's my luck."

 

"Em, if you don't want to see him....  I mean, we can make sure you don't see him if you like."  I said.

 

"No, if he comes back, I'll deal with him again.  I have to, for my sanity."

 

There was only about an hour left of the dance anyway.  A vast majority of the students were going to stay in the hotel for the night but Marrissa,Tina, John, and I were not.  Since we got along so well, we decided to come to the prom in the same car.  It was John's '62 Fairlane.  Now, if you think that someone like John would look out of place in a Fairlane, you're right.  John did not like to display that he was well off, and his Fairlane needed some work.  John used the car to express that he was no better than any of the rest of us.  Since our families lived within a block of one another, we decided to ride together.  John's parents trusted him; they knew he would take care of all of us, so they supported the whole idea one hundred percent.

 

Sam didn't come back, so John offered to take Emily home with us.  Marrissa even offered to let her stay over at her house that night, but Emily said that she wanted to walk home.  We pleaded with her because she lived awfully far away, about five miles, but she insisted it was necessary to clear her head. 

 

The dance ended and we filed into John's Fairlane.  As we pulled out of the Ramada Inn parking lot, we noticed that traffic was very light, for Cincinnati standards that is.  We started down the freeway, and Tina's hand softly crept into John's.  "I love you", she whispered.  We all heard it, but I don't think she was trying extra hard to be discreet. 

 

"I love you too, with every bit of my fragile little heart."  John replied, turning on the radio.  Sittin on the Dock of the Bay, by Otis Redding was just coming to an end. 

 

"All right Cincinnati!  This is Wolfman Jack, bringing you a sensitive edge to his normally hoppin' radio show!  Hope you all are having a wonderful evening, here is a little Frankie Valli!"  Through that signature gravelly voice.

 

The vivid eeriness of this moment was astounding!

 

"You're just to good to be true..."

 

I looked up and watched John and Tina lock eyes in a priceless moment of affection. 

 

"Can't take my eyes off you..."

 

As I saw a warm smile begin to form on John's lips, I saw two headlights over his right shoulder bounce up from the median heading straight for us. 

 

"You'd be like heaven to touch..."

 

I tried to yell, but it all happened so quickly. 

 

"I wanna hold you so much..."

 

I braced myself just before the impact from the wayward car slammed me into the back of the front seat. It was such a crushing impact!  It sounded like an explosion; I remember how it resonated through me, rattling my teeth and sending the reverberation down my spine and into my feet.  There was a second, smaller bump as the Fairlane came to rest on the guardrail.

 

I picked myself up off the floor and eased back into my seat, resting my hand against my aching head.  I looked down and saw Marrissa climbing out from between the seats.  I saw John lifting himself off of the steering wheel.  I didn't see Tina anywhere.  I leaned over the seat to see if she was on the floor, but she wasn't there either.  That was when I noticed the big, jagged hole in the windshield.

 

"John!  Where's Tina?!"  I shouted.

 

He tried frantically to open the door, but it wouldn't open.  John slid across the seat and exited through what used to be Tina's door.  Then I saw him running down the middle of the road, about twenty feet away he dropped to his knees and began to cradle something.  I noticed that the radio was still playing.  Right near the end of the instrumental break of the song, and Frankie Valli belted out "I love you baby, and if it's quite alright I need you baby..."  With the song lost in the backround; I jumped out of the Fairlane and ran to the car that hit us. 

 

I recognized it at once, it was Sam's candy apple red Mustang.   Most of the impact on this car came to the passenger side, so I pulled his door open.  He was hunched over the steering wheel, bleeding from his left ear.  As I pulled him off the steering wheel I noticed that he hardly recognized me.  "Terry?  How'd you get in my room?"  He asked.

 

"I'm not in your room Sam....  You hit our car, people are hurt and we can't find Tina."

 

"No... That was just a dream.  It never happened."

 

I ignored him and left him for whatever fate may await him.  I walked back over to the smashed remains of the Fairlane and checked on Marrissa.  "Why don't you get out of this car?"  I pleaded.

 

"I don't wanna see Tina."  She said, white as a ghost.

 

I leaned off the car, and turned my attention to the figure of John that was illuminated in the Fairlane's one remaining headlight.  I began to walk towards him.  No sign of help so far.  Long before the time of cell phones, help came dreadfully slow.  As I reached John, I knew that lightning fast EMT response would never save Tina, she was already dead.  I could feel it, and I could see John holding her, but I could only see her from the waist down. 

 

When I knelt beside John and finally saw Tina's face, I was horrified.  Her head had almost been severed, it was barely attached.  "John, she's gone."

 

"I know. I just want to have these moments with her, before I can never see her again."  He wasn't crying, but he would be later on.  He had a vacant look in his eyes, as he stared into the darkness.

 

"Sam was the one who hit us."  I said, removing my shirt.

 

"I know, I saw his car."

 

"He thinks it's all a nightmare.  I left him where I found him."  I said, trying to work my shirt under John’s arm.

 

"So he's ok?"

 

"For the most part.  Move your arm, I'm covering her neck."

 

"Why?  Why's he ok, but my Tina has to die?  Why?"  The first hint of tears seeped from John's eyes.

 

"I don't know.  C'mon, let's get her out of the road."

 

As soon as she was on the berm of the freeway, John went back to holding her.  At the prom he looked like a distinguished gentleman, now he resembled the boy that he really was.  I placed my hand on his shoulder, "Take care of her. I am going to check on Marrissa." 

 

I could hear him sobbing as the gravity of the whole situation finally dropped upon his shoulders.  He didn't deserve this, Tina certainly didn't deserve this.  I was thankful that I was unharmed, though I could feel my face swelling up where it impacted the seat.  I figured that the whole situation hadn't hit me yet, which was why I could be so clear headed.  Looking back, I know now that I was in shock and everything slowed down so my brain wouldn't short circuit.

 

I opened the door and sat down next to Marrissa.  "Tina is gone.  Everyone else is ok, including Sam."  I said carefully.

 

"Sam?"

 

"He’s the one who hit us..."  The dawning of the whole thing illuminated Marrissa's eyes, and she bolted for the door.

 

"I'll kill him!  I will kill him!  How he could he do this!"

 

I intercepted her at the rear of the car and wrapped my arms around her.  "He doesn't even know where he is."  I said, holding her against me while she cried.  I glanced up and saw a pair of headlights approaching and I knew that this night was finally going to end.

 

=====================================================

 

I faded back into 2007 and the current reality where the temperature hovered around 19 degrees.  I lost track of time while drifting in memories and I didn't know how long I had been leaning on the rear of the rusted out shell of the Fairlane.  I silently wondered why John kept this car.  I would have certainly gotten rid of it by now.

 

John ended up marrying a very nice lady named Kim.  He secretly confided to me that he wished he could have only had his Tina back.  He loved Kim, but she wasn't anything like Tina.  I heard snow crunching on the ground and saw John approaching.

 

"Why don't you get rid of this?" I asked John.

 

"I could never get rid of it. Kim thinks it’s an eyesore and you think it's a mind sore.  Reminds me of her, other than pictures, it's all I have left.  I remember the drive-in movies, all the days I rode with her to and from school, and just sitting and talking for hours on end in her driveway."

 

"Yeah, I can see your point.  Lots of memories that pictures can't capture.... The Grand kids ready to open their gifts?"  I asked.  It was a tradition for our families to get together before Christmas.  We would get gifts for their kids, and they bought gifts for ours.  After time, it turned into exchanging gifts for the grand children as well.

 

"Yup.  Kim's finishing dinner, too."

 

I put my arm around my best friend's shoulder.  "Alright!  Back in we go.  Let's not forget our memorial toast to Tina."

 

John smiled.  He would never tell his wife that we secretly toasted Tina every year; it was our little tradition, spoken only with our eyes.  Then he said, "How could I forget?"

Reviews

[Becca]

After reading this, I don't think I can give you an objective review.
So as far as the characters and the events..this may strike a chord with a lot of people.
Maybe add some more details such as clothing color, height, eyes, hair...you get the idea.
The story drew me right in and I can see how you developed it from that photo. ( By the way, I owned a Farilane just like that.)
I saw a few sentences that could be combined.
All in all...well done my friend!

[Dianne]

Jeff this story is heartbreaking! It's not hokey at all. I will second what Damian has said about the dialogue, most often people will use contractions rather than saying things the long form. If you find it difficult to decide which way to write it try speaking the dialogue aloud and see if that doesn't make it easier for you to decide when to use a contraction and when to use the long form.

On a personal reaction to the story, I've never understood why people think that their friends and/or family don't know/feel at some level what is happening with those secret toasts to the past or what ever. This is not criticism of your story, because I know this happens all the time. It is rather an observation on human nature to think that just because we don't say or do these things openly that our spouse or friends or who ever won't know or feel that they are happening.

[Dizzy-Izzy]

I don't think the romantic lines were hokey at all, I don't know if being a girl makes a difference in how I feel about them. I could see the two lovers dancing at the prom. I could hear the mellow tones of Franki's voice singing in the background..."I love you baby..." One of those crystal ball things hanging from the ceiling, hmmm, did they have those in '69? I had a feeling something bad was going to happen when alcohol was mentioned... love doesn't always conquer all... I know that from experience.

Oh, and the practically severed head? Nice touch man, I mean that...

You know I have said more than once in comments that I am not particularly dark... but, some of my favorite TV programs have been. X-Files...(the truth is out there)... and Buffy T.V.S. and I love to watch that new one Bones ooohhh...

I really like the story. It was a much needed escape. Have a great night.

Kristina

[Damian Alan Gray]

First, I have to say that this is quite possibly the best thing I've read from you yet. You have a knack, it seems, for developing story lines that flow like water. Yes, you could work on the character details. Yes, you could further develop the character background. And, to add one more, the dialogue could be improved to make it more realistic (for instance, where you wrote, "I don't know, John. C'mon, I will help you get her off the road." instead try, "I don't know. C'mon, let's get her off the road." always remember that very few people actually speak with proper grammar).
However, the impact of the story (if you'll pardon the tasteless pun), combined with the imagery you presented throughout, made this an extremely enjoyable read. So much so that it has been selected as the Featured Work of the Week at the Vicious Circle.

[Constance]

You did such an excellent job with this that only the year gave away that you weren't telling us a true story from your own life. It kept me interested throughout, and a little hokey here and there didn't hurt. It has a good message, too. I always like to see writing with a good, clear, easy to glean message.
As Smokingquillz suggested, this definitely strikes a chord with me. One of my friends in High School was a passenger in a car full of drunks that hit and killed a kid from a neighboring High School, who was a friend of another friend of mine, my Junior Year. Freshman year, two older boys and two girls my age were on their first dates ever, and the boys were both killed in an accident, the girls injured. One girl had brain damage, the other a bum leg. Believe it or not, the driver killed himself and his friend just swerving to avoid a rabbit.
You wrote this well enough that it brought back memories of those I knew who were killed in accidents, see? Well done.
Grammatically, it seemed fairly sound. As far as adding more detail, I think it's good as it is, because it makes the story more universal in appeal. They could have been kids of any race, etc. I think it works well that way. Had you added deep descriptions of each character, it would lose that universal appeal quickly. With a story of this nature, that is what helps to make the message heard.
Bravo!